#HEY PROFESSORS - PLEASE GIVE ACTUAL FEEDBACK AND MAYBE YOUR STUDENTS WILL DO BETTER ON THE FINAL

[starbuck]

PRAY with me that my biology professor entered the wrong grade by accident

[atlafan]

The Tutor - Part Three

a/n: alright, I think I have these two out of my system now. hope you enjoy! feedback is always appreciated, as well as reblogs! 

Part One Part Two

Warnings: fluff, SMUT, slight angst, slight spitting, partying, alcohol consumption.

Words: 18.6K

After spending like what felt a week in bed together, the spring semester officially began. Y/N was in a stage of just feeling giddy from how good Harry made her feel. Now that they had been together for a few months, she felt totally comfortable with him. She would often sleep naked, or lounge around in just her underwear she knew they would be alone for a while. Harry didn’t mind one bit. He liked how cute and sweet Y/N was, and he loved being loved on by her.

When she walks into their Art of Film class she scoffs when she sees him sitting in the second row. She walks right up to him and rolls her eyes.

“We are not sitting this close up.” She shakes her head.

“I like sitting closer, Y/N.”

“But if we’re going to be watching movies, then we should sit in the back.”

“This isn’t even a stadium style classroom, so that doesn’t make any sense. If you wanna sit in the back then be my guest, but this is where I like to sit.”

Y/N sighs heavily and sits down next to him. She didn’t like sitting up front in class, it just meant she would be called on more and she didn’t much feel like participating to the extreme in just a gen ed. She liked to save her energy for her major courses.

“You’re a little too studious sometimes, you know that?”

“Y/N.” He hums warningly and side eyes her. “Are you going to be able to handle sitting next to me? Or is this going to be an issue?”

“Golly gee, professor, I don’t know, maybe I should come to your office hours later to discuss it.” She smirks at him and he rolls his eyes.

“Don’t be mean.” He pouts. “I have a tough time concentrating in the back sometimes, so sitting up front is better for me. We’re in the second row at least.”

“I suppose that’s true.” She sighs.

Other students fill in. Billy from senate is in the class as well, and sits behind Harry. Y/N gives him a smile as well. The professor walks in, and sets his bag down on the desk. He gets his computer hooked up to the tech station so he can use the projector.

“God, please don’t tell me we’re going to watch Fight Club and Pulp Fiction.” Y/N groans.

“I didn’t see those on the syllabus.” Harry says, taking a few papers out. “Actually, a lot of the films we’re going to watch were directed by women, or have strong female casts.”

“You…already printed the syllabus?”

“Yeah, it’s what I did after I sent you home last night. I did it for all of my classes.”

“Good morning everyone, I’m Professor Robinson, feel free to call me Eric.” He smiles. “I’m really excited about this course, it’s one of my favorites to teach. We’re going to watch some great films, and learn about what goes into making them. I hope you all will get the book needed for class. It’s a little dense, but I promise I’ll be able to explain it in ways for you to understand.” He starts to go over the syllabus a bit. “One of the first films we’re going to be watching is Baby Face, it came out in 1933, and is considered a drama and a noir. This came out right at the beginning of when the Hays Code was being introduced, so we’ll be comparing this to Double Indemnity, which came out in 1944, another Barbara Stanwyck film. You’ll be able to see how differently the films were made, and even the difference in how female characters were treated. We’ll go over the Hays Code as well, but these two films will be great starting points. Now, you may have noticed that Wednesday evenings were put on your schedules from 7-9PM. These are optional meeting times. I will be showing the films here during this time, or you can watch them on your own. Whatever’s easier.” He smiles and continues on.

Y/N was captivated. She wasn’t sure what to expect from the course, and even though they would be watching a few black and white films in the beginning, the subject matter actually interested her.

“Alright, now, I hate doing the normal ice breakers where we all state our names, our majors, and a fun fact, and I know you all have made claim to your seats, so, turn to the person next to you, introduce yourself and talk about what you look for in a film when you go to the theater.”

Harry and Y/N look at each other and smile. Harry extends his hand out to her and she giggles as he shakes it.

“You’re so silly! Okay, when I go to the movies, like, if I’m going to pay to see a movie, I want to know that I’m going to laugh and not be bored. Like, I know it’s a good movie if I don’t check my phone the entire time. I like when the beginning is easy to follow along so I’m not confused.”

“Same here. I sort of like being sucked into another world, like, escape for a little bit. I feel like when I go to the movies, it’s one of the few times I don’t need to think too much about anything. It’s when I feel my least anxious.”

“Okay!” Eric says. “Glad you all could get to know each other a bit. I think we can end class a little early. Please make sure to check out the moodle page, there is a forum post do before Wednesday, and make sure you have Baby Face watched by next Monday. Thanks everyone!”

“This is going to be a fun class.” Y/N says to Harry as they walk out together.

“I think so too.” He kisses her cheek. “Where are you headed next? I have stats.”

“I’m heading to my Macroeconomics class, and then I have Organizational Communication, then I’m done for the day.”

“Alright, and then I’ll assume you have lifting?”

“Mhm.” She grins at him and pulls him aside.

“What?”

“Your birthday is this Friday.”

“Is it?” He pretends. “Had no idea.”

“Well, I hope you know I have a lot planned.”

“Is that so?”

“Yup, you’re going to be spoiled rotten, babe.” She gets on her tip toes to kiss him. “I gotta go, I’ll see you later.”

“Bye.” He chuckles as he heads upstairs to his stats class.

//

Y/N and Harry decide to be good sports Wednesday night and go to the formal viewing of Baby Face for their class. Most of the class actually showed up, so it made it more fun to watch. There was a scene where a man put his hand on Barbara’s knee, and she poured hot coffee on him without skipping a beat. Y/N loved her. She climbed her way up to the top by manipulating men, just as the men her life when she was younger had tried to manipulate her.

“I loved that movie!” Y/N exclaims as they leave the academic building. “She was so badass, taking no one’s shit.”

“Yeah, I really liked it too.” He yawns. “Christ, I’m tired.” He leads her in the direction of her apartment.

“Did I tell you me, Gina, Amanda, and Becca all signed a lease for an off campus place next year? We’re really excited.”

“That’s great! We’re all staying in the same apartment, which I’m happy about. It’s the perfect spot.” Harry walks Y/N up to her door and she looks confused when he stays outside. “M’gonna go back to my place, it’s late and I have an 8AM tomorrow…”

“Oh…alright.” She wraps her arms around his neck, and his go around her waist. “Thanks for walking me home.”

“Anytime, baby.”

They stand outside kissing for a while before he detaches himself from her. They both giggle and say goodnight before she goes inside. Louis and Niall were in the living room when Harry gets back, and he flops down onto the couch with them.

“Hey, mate, how was the movie?” Louis asks.

“Not too bad, actually. We both enjoyed it. I don’t think I’ll have the energy to go every Wednesday night, though. I’m pooped.”

“Did you go to the gym this morning?” Niall asks.

“Yeah, went for my usual run. Forgot how tiring going to classes all day were. Sort of miss just working in the law office.”

“I’m surprised Y/N isn’t with you.” Louis says.

“Nah, I walked her home and told her I wanted to come back here. I can’t get into the habit of having a lot of sleepovers during the week.” He hoists himself to his feet. “Well, I’m off to bed, goodnight.”

“Night, mate.” Niall and Louis say.

Harry gets cozy in bed, and then groans to himself when his boxers become uncomfortably tight. He rolls his eyes at himself. Did he have to press up against Y/N while they were making out earlier? Of course he was fucking did, and now he was too riled up to fall asleep. He wondered if the same thing ever happened to her.

Harry: can’t sleep

Y/N: thought you were exhausted

Harry: I was, but now I can’t stop thinking about you

Y/N: me or my parts, lmao

Harry: YOU

Y/N: not much I can do to help you from all the way over here…

Harry: picture???

Y/N: Harry!

Harry: you sent a ton over break!

Y/N: that was different

Harry: please??

Y/N: fine, I’ll send you a snap, gimme a minute

Y/N rips her blankets off her body, unsure of what sort of picture he was hoping for. She gets up and strips herself of her bed-shirt, and takes a mirror selfie, careful to hide most of her face, just in case, and sends it to him on snapchat. Harry was already stroking himself in anticipation. He grins ear to ear when he sees the notification pop up on his phone, and opens it immediately.

“Oh, fuck me.” He groans when he sees her naked body on display for him. She had squeezed one of her breasts, and he could just make out her biting her bottom lip. He knew she didn’t really like receiving nudes, even if it was from him, so he sends her back a pouty selfie telling her how fucking beautiful she was.

Y/N: you did this to yourself, you could have come up

Harry: I was trying to be good

Y/N: look at you now, giving yourself a hand job

Harry: don’t be mean…would you send another?

Y/N: yeah, hold on

She sends him a snap of her breasts pushed together, and that does it for him. He bites down on his knuckle while come gets on his other fist and lower belly. He gives himself a minute before cleaning himself up and laying back in bed.

Harry: thank you baby

Y/N: you realize you owe me

Harry: I’ll give you anything you want, you know that

Y/N: love you, goodnight

Harry: love you too, sweet dreams

He sighs happily as his eyes flutter closed. Y/N rolls her eyes and smirks to herself. Sometimes these moments were gentle reminders that even though Harry was a little more “woke” than most guys, he was still your average college guy. He wanted nudes from his girlfriend, and he wanted to sext even though he easily could have just come inside. She wasn’t annoyed her anything, and she didn’t want to be with his birthday so close. However, now she was left there, aroused at the idea of him simply getting off to a couple of pictures of her. She figures if he could do that, then she could do the same. She told him about most of her winter break, but what she hadn’t told him was about her new little friend. The girls had all gone to a sex shop, and she bought a little bullet vibrator. Y/N gets up and goes into her closet to use it. If he didn’t want to come in to satisfy her, she had other ways of getting around it.

//

Thursdays were days Y/N could meet up with Harry for lunch, so she happily goes to see him at the dining hall. She smiles and sits down with her food. He had his laptop out, typing away at something.

“How could you possibly already have something so important to do?” She sighs.

“Student senate stuff.” He says and then closes his laptop. “Thanks for your help last night.” He smirks and then kisses her cheek.

“You’re welcome.” She sips on his drink.

“Are you excited for your game tonight?”

“Mhm.”

“Are you upset with me?”

“No, why would I be?”

“You seem a little annoyed with me…”

“Not at all, Har.” She shrugs. “I just think that if you wanted to fuck me, you could have come inside.”

“I didn’t feel like spending the night.”

“I’ve told you before that you don’t need to.”

“You say that, but then you give me this look, and then I feel guilty…so I just don’t come in at all. It’s easier.”

“Mm, and then you get to conveniently rub one out.”

“Are you upset that I asked you to send me pictures?”

“No, I suppose it’s flattering. I just think I make things a little too easy for you sometimes. It’s not exactly easy for me to get off on my own, you know?”

“Aw, did I leave you hanging?” He genuinely felt bad.

“Nope, took care of it myself. Don’t exactly need you, do I?” She grins. “Made my back arch off the bed all by myself, no help from you whatsoever.” She bites into her sandwich, and looks innocently as his grimacing face. “What’s wrong?”

“You’re being mean. What are you saying, I don’t make you feel good anymore?”

“No, you make me feel plenty good. But I know a thing or two now, so don’t you worry about not wanting to come up and fuck me because I can handle it all on my own. In fact, let’s be like an old married couple who have sex nights and just do it once a week. That could be fun.”

“You are annoyed with me.”

“I’m not.” She leans closer to him so no one around can hear. “I just don’t want to be your personal porn star when you can’t fall asleep at night.”

“That’s not what I…” He sucks his teeth. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah, you’re right. It was a little selfish, I’m sorry.” He pouts at her and hides his face in her neck. “Love you so much.” He kisses on her neck slowly, and she sighs.

“It’s okay.” She rubs his back. She really couldn’t stay upset with him when he was like this. He was just too cute. “I love you too.”

He sits up straight and pecks her lips before eating more of his food.

“I can hang out tonight if you want, no Friday classes this semester.”

“Me neither! Although, I’ll still have practice tomorrow morning. I’ll think about it. Maybe you could come to dinner after the game?”

“I’d love to.”

The girls ended up losing, so there was no community dinner down town, and Y/N was in too sour of a mood to have alone time with Harry, which he understood. Tomorrow was his birthday, so she’d rather start fresh with him when she was in a better mood.

//

“Shh.”

Harry’s eyes flutter open around nine. He usually never sleeps this “late”, but his alarm didn’t go off for some reason. His eyes snap open when he sees, Y/N, Niall, and Louis all creeping into his room. They were holding balloons and streamers and confetti.

“Happy birthday!” They all scream and dog pile on Harry. He laughs hysterically.

“Okay, okay!” He yelps. “Can’t breathe!”

The boys both get off the bed, but Y/N stays straddling him.

“Right, well, we’ll be whipping up some brekkie downstairs.” Louis says with a wink as he and Niall leave the room.

Y/N gets up quickly to lock the door and then she gets right back on top of Harry. His hands grip her hips tightly.

“What a nice surprise.” He smiles up at her. “Do you mind if I go brush my teeth and all that? Just woke up, you know.”

“You know what’s funny? With all of the excitement this morning, I forgot to take a shower.” Harry’s eyes grow wide at her. “What do you say, Har?” She says lowly.

“They’re home…”

“They’ll be busy making what I asked them to, and they’ve been told not to come upstairs. They just want you to have a good birthday, and so do I.”

“Do you even have anything with you?”

“Yeah, my bag’s right over there.” She points to it. “So…”

“Alright, yeah, let’s go take a shower.” He says excitedly.

Harry brushes his teeth while Y/N gets her hair up in a bun so it won’t get wet.

“Did you shower after practice?”

“I rinsed very quickly, not the same thing.” She takes her clothes off and presses her body against Harry’s. “This is much better.”

“I agree.”

He pulls the curtain back and helps her in. They both giggle as the water hits his back, and she wraps her arms around his neck. His hands slide down to her ass and he squeezes her. He licks into her mouth, and she happily glides her tongue along his. She bites his bottom lip and steps back, grabbing at his body wash.

“Which scrubbie is yours?”

“Oh, I just use these.” He holds up two gloves that are made from exfoliating rags. “They work much better and they’re more sanitary.”

“Learn something new about you every day, Har.” She grabs the gloves and puts them on, and squeezes the body wash onto them. “Turn around, gonna getcha all clean.”

“Wow, I’m really being spoiled today.”

He turns around and nearly purrs at the feeling of her scrubbing his back. She turns him around so she can do the same to his front and arms. She peels the gloves off and rinses them out.

“Thanks, baby.” He smiles as the soap rinses off him.

“Want me to wash your hair too?” She asks shyly. “Grew my nails out for you.” She holds them up to show him and he his mouth forms in an “O”.

“Yes, please.”

She giggles and get his shampoo lathered into her hands, and he bends down a bit so she can properly scrub at his head. He moans softly as her nails scratch at his head. She massages his scalp a bit as well before helping him rinse it out. Once he’s all clean, she gets on her knees in front of him, and starts stroking him up and down.

“Is this what you wanted the other night?”

“Yes.” He grunts. “Are you sure you feel like doing this right now?”

“Mhm.” She hums before swirling her tongue around his tip.

Harry mindlessly grips at the tile on the wall while she bobs her head up and down on him. She swallows around him and plays with his balls, doing everything she knows he really likes.

“Baby, please, let me touch you.”

She looks up at him and he nearly loses it. He helps her stand up and he pushes her up against the wall, and she gasps with surprise at his abrupt forcefulness. His lips sponge at her neck and across her chest. One of his hands slides between her legs and her head rolls back against the tile.

“We’re wasting water.” She groans. “Let’s get out, and then we can play a little more.”

“You’re not just teasing?”

“No, babe.”

“Okay.”

They both get out, and get wrapped in towels. Harry smells the food from downstairs, and his stomach growls, but he soon forgets he’s hungry when he sees Y/N drop her towel and shake out her hair.

“Come and get me, birthday boy.”

He drops his towel and nearly tackles her onto his bed. He nips at her lips and works his way down her body, biting and sucking where he pleases. He just wanted his head between her legs. He spreads her apart, and licks a flat stripe up her center.

“Jesus.” She shivers from that alone, and slots her fingers through his hair.

He sucks harshly on her clit, and swirls his tongue around it, nibbling a little before sucking on it again. She moans out a little too loudly and she covers her mouth with her hand. She didn’t exactly want to put on a show for the boys downstairs. That all goes to hell when he licks into her. She props herself up on her elbows to watch him. He looks up at her while he fucks her with his tongue, and the eye contact is too much for the both of them, but they continue through any embarrassment they may feel.

“Oh my god.” She pants as her head rolls back. His mouth moves back to her clit, and two of his fingers slide inside her, twisting around as he pumps them in and out. “Harry, fuck, oh my god.”

He curls his fingers up as he gets in knuckle deep, and rubs them against her g-spot, as he continues to suck on her clit. He groans against her when he feels her tighten around him.

“Gonna come?”

“Yes, oh my fucking god, shit!” She cries out as she pulses and vibrates around him. He takes his fingers out and laps away at her as she comes down from her high.

“Ready for my cock?”

“Please.” She breathes and nods.

He gets up and grabs a condom to roll on. He gets back on the bed, but she pins him down, pinning his hands on either side of his head.

“Let me take care of it, baby, just want you to feel good and relax.”

She lines herself up and sinks down on him. He moans out at the tight feeling. She brings her hands back down to his and intertwines their fingers as she keeps them pinned on his pillow. She rocks back and forth on him slowly, just getting adjusted, and then she starts to get a good pace going, moving up and down on him.

“Fuck, Y/N.” He grits his teeth and squeezes her hands. “You feel so good.” He was panting, watching her above him like this was really doing something to him, and he sort of speaks before he thinks. “Would you spit in my mouth?”

Y/N kept moving on him, but she looked down at him deeply concerned.

“You want me to what?!”

“Never mind!”

“No, I’ll do it!”

“Forget I said anything! I don’t even know why I-“

“Harry, you want me to spit? I’ll spit!”

“It’s weird, it’s too weird, I went too far!”

“Open your mouth!”

Harry’s mouth falls open, his tongue peeking out. Y/N wells up some spit in her mouth and leans down so her mouth was close to Harry’s. She didn’t want to spit harshly. She sort of just wanted her saliva to drip from her tongue to his. Maybe that could be sensual? So she does just that. She opens her mouth and lets the spit in her mouth roll from her tongue to his. She was moving on him in slow circles as she did this. He swallows it and looks up at her. He uses the power from his legs to thrust up into her since his hands were busy squeezing hers.

“Do it again.” He breathes.

She happily obliges and does it again for him. It was his birthday, she’d do anything he wanted…within reason of course. She supposed it wasn’t the weirdest thing he could have asked for. His tongue had been so far up her cunt, swapping spit was probably the least odd bodily fluid they could have shared.

She stays close to him, sucking on his tongue while they move in sync with each other. She starts squeezing and tightening around him. She was rubbing up against him in the perfect way, and he was about ready to lose it himself.

“M’gonna come, Y/N.” He groans.

“Me too, fuck, me too.”

She sits up straight and her back arches as she comes, and his release wasn’t too far behind. He feels like he explodes inside of the condom. She lets go of his hands slowly and he helps her off of him. He runs a hand through his hair as he watches her wobble around to get some pants and a t-shirt on.

“Just gonna go pee.” She kisses his cheek and slips out of his room.

He disposes of the condom, and puts his boxers and sweatpants on, not much feeling like a shirt at the moment. He was sitting on his bed, twiddling his thumbs, when she came back into the room. She sits down next to him and smiles.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah…I just, um, was that weird?”

“What?”

“When I asked you to spit in my mouth?”

“Um…” She blushes. “It took me a little off guard, but it’s really not that weird.”

“I don’t even know why I wanted you to do that, it just sort of slipped out.”

“It’s really not that different from kissing, I mean, we technically spit on each other all the time.”

“Guess that’s true.” He smirks and grabs his glasses. “It’s been quite the morning.”

“It’s not over yet.” She stands up and reached for his hand. “Come on.”

They both come downstairs, and Harry gasps.

“Yorkshire pudding?!”

“Got the recipe of Delia Smith’s website.” Louis laughs. “Hope it tasted good. We made eggs, beans, and bacon too.”

“Thanks guys.”

It was a nice breakfast for the four of them. Y/N hangs out with Harry all day. They paint each other’s nails, watch a movie, cuddle, and just enjoy each other’s company. He had gotten a little sleepy, so he was peacefully napping with his head resting in her chest. Y/N noticed that Harry was a stomach sleeper, but he liked having something to hold on to. It was really cute. She was playing with his hair while reading on her phone. It was a really nice lazy day, and a perfect way to make sure everything was getting set up for his surprise party at Ashley’s. She hears his phone start to buzz and sees it a FaceTime request from Gemma.

“Babe, it’s your sister.”

“Okay.” He mumbles and sits up. “Hello!”

“Happy birthday!” Gemma and Anne say together.

“Harry, are you still in bed?” Anne asks.

“Was taking a nap, Mum. It’s my birthday, I’m allowed to catch up on some sleep.”

“Are you doing anything fun?”

“Y/N and the guys made me breakfast, and then we watched a movie, and I think we’re going out tonight.”

“Is she with you now?” Gemma asks.

“Yeah.” He flips the camera.

“Hi, Y/N!” Gemma says.

“Hello.” She says shyly and waves. Harry flips the camera back to himself.

“I love you both, but m’all groggy.”

“Alright, honey, I sent you a nice package so hopefully you’ll get it soon. We love you!”

“Thanks!” He tosses his phone elsewhere, and pushes Y/N back down so he can put his head back on her chest. “So comfy.”

“We should probably get up soon…”

“Why? What else you got planned?”

“Just dinner with friends. We should be there around seven.”

“S’only four now, plenty of time to keep chilling out. I never get to do this, it’s nice.”

“Okay, babe.” She goes back to playing with his hair and reading on her phone.

//

When it was time to get ready, Y/N put on some black tights that had a pattern on them, her black mini pencil skirt, and a long sleeve red crop top. Harry had a long sleeve blue button up on paired with his black jeans. He was putting his boots one when he watched Y/N zip up her own boots.

“You look so fucking sexy.” He says as he gets up and wraps his arms around her. “Are you sure we have somewhere to be, and I can’t just take this all off you?”

“Sorry.” Y/N giggles. “But dinner’s waiting.”

“But I’m only hungry for one thing.” He pecks at her lips.

“Didn’t you have enough of that earlier?”

“Never enough, babe.”

“Oh, Harry.” She swats a hand at his chest. “Come on.”

They both get their coats on and head out. She loops her arm around his, and leads the way. He realizes they’re headed towards Ashley’s apartment, but he doesn’t question it. She opens the door and everyone yells surprise. Harry laughs and walks in. They put their coats away and he’s amazed at the spread of appetizers there was.

“Thank you all so much, this is great.” He smiles.

All of his friends from senate were there, Louis, Niall, some other people from the soccer team, and other friends. And of course the entire women’s hockey team, but that was a given. A cake is brought out and everyone sings happy birthday to him. After settling down from the food, all of the drinks come out. Everyone takes shots of tequila, and then Y/N makes Harry a vodka cranberry, his favorite. That’s what he stuck with all night. He didn’t want to throw up from mixing drinks.

Y/N was off talking to her friends, but when the music starts to get good, Harry finds her, and yanks her towards him. She wraps her arms around his neck as they start to slow grind.

“Can’t believe you put all of this together for me.”

“Well, it wasn’t all me, the guys helped.”

“Doesn’t matter.” He presses his forehead to hers. “Love you so much.”

“Love you too.”

Harry was really drunk, like, more drunk than Y/N had ever seen him, so she was taking it easy on her own drinks. He stayed attached to her while they danced for the rest of the night. She indulged in making out with him, but there was no way they were having sex again when they got back to his place. Louis and Niall had to help walk him back because there was no way she could carry him. They help him up the stairs in and into his room.

“I’ve got it from here, boys, thanks.”

“Night, Y/N.” Niall says as he and Louis leave.

“Okay, let’s…Harry…” She giggles as he sloppily kisses her neck. “Come on, I wanna get you into bed.”

“Mm, me too. Let’s get you into bed.”

“No, baby, for sleep. Gotta get you out of these clothes for sleep.” He bites down on her neck and squeezes her ass and she groans for a moment before pushing him off. She puts her hands on her hips and looks at him. “We can do that in the morning, you’re really drunk.”

She steps forward and unbuttons his shirt, and gets his pants off. She sits him down on the bed while she gets her own clothes off. She throws on one of his t-shirts and flips the lights off. She climbs into bed with him, and he spoons her, pressing his bulge against her ass.

“M’so hard.” He whines.

“I know, but there’s nothing I can do about that right now.”

“You gave me such a nice birthday.” He holds her closer and nestles into her hair.

“I’m glad you had a nice day, babe.” She chuckles.

“It was the best.” He yawns, and not too long after…he’s out.

Y/N was grateful he didn’t get sick. She didn’t do well with throw up. She drifts off slowly after him. She wakes up a couple of hours later to the sound of his door opening and closing. She sits up immediately, hoping he wasn’t getting up because he was sick. He comes back moment later chugging water from his water bottle.

“Oh, thank god.” She breathes.

“Need some?”

“Yeah.” She smiles and takes the bottle from him.

“Sorry I woke you. I was fucking parched.” He crawls back into bed and takes the bottle from her. “Think I’m still a little drunk.”

“Wouldn’t be surprised, I let you drink too much.” She runs a hand through his hair.

“Oh, but I had so much fun. I’ll just sleep it off.” He gives her a few pecks before settling back down. She rests her head on his chest and he holds her close. This was the life.

//

The team made it to the first round of playoffs, but nothing further, so their season ended at the end of February. It was sad for the seniors on the team, but mostly everyone was happy for their break. No more early morning practices. They just needed to keep up with lifts in the late afternoons. This also meant that Y/N could stay out later most nights. Ashley and Megan had people over almost every night to drink. They weren’t raging, but Y/N was loving not having to worry about getting up at the crack of dawn. Harry didn’t always go with her, which was fine. He had 8AM’s on Tuesdays and Thursdays, after all.

There was one Tuesday night Harry was already asleep in bed when his phone started ringing. He saw Y/N’s name, and swiped to take the call.

“Baby?” He says groggily.

“Hey sunshine!”

“Amanda?” He sits up. “Why do you have Y/N’s phone?”

“Well, her head’s in the toilet at the moment. She really wants to go home, but it would look bad if one of us carried her. UPD would question us for sure.”

“She’s sick?” He sighs, already pulling some sweats on.

“Yeah, so is Gina. It’s no Bueno.”

“What the hell happened? Where are you?”

“At Ashley’s…we did shots, and then played slap the bag. Not a great mix.”

“Okay, I’ll be there soon.”

He rubs his eyes, grabs his glasses and heads out. He walks right into Ashley’s. Her apartment was filled with smoke and people. Harry partied like anyone else, but not so much on a Tuesday night. He walks to where he knows the bathroom is and doesn’t see anyone.

“Harry!” Amanda says. “She’s over here.” She tugs him over to the living room where Y/N was basically passed out on the couch.

“Christ, where’s Gina?”

“She’s crashing in Megan’s room. Come on, Y/N, Harry’s here.” She nudges her.

“Hm?” Her eyes open slightly and then they grow wide. “No! I don’t want him to see me like this!” She hides her face in her hands.

“It’s okay, babe, let’s get you home.” Harry says, lifting her up bridal styles. “I can’t carry her likes across campus, we’ll get stopped. Help me get her on my back, that’s less weird looking.”

Amanda nods and helps Y/N get situated so Harry could give her a piggy back ride. She was complete dead weight.

“She’s gonna kill me for calling you, but she didn’t want to stay…I’m sorry, I know you were sleeping.”

“It’s alright, Amanda. I’d rather her be safe. You guys have been going a little nuts lately, yeah?”

“We can’t help it. We’re not allowed to get crazy during the week during the season. Things will settle down soon. Spring break is coming up, you know? Last year we all went home and detoxed essentially.”

Amanda gets the apartment door open, and lets Harry take Y/N upstairs.

“Are you gonna spew again?”

“No.” She mumbles.

“Alright, well, I’m gonna put this bucket here.” He brings her barrel over. “Let’s get you out of these clothes, yeah?”

“Go home, you need to sleep.”

“I’m gonna take care of you.”

“No, you’re gonna be mad at me in the morning.”

“I won’t be.”

“Yes you will.” She pouts and her eyes start to tear up.

“Nope, none of that, come on.”

“I can take my own clothes off.”

“Okay, I’ll get your pj’s then.” He goes into her dresses and she lunges towards him, tackling him down. “Y/N! What the fuck?!”

“Don’t go in there! I have things in there you can’t see!”

“You could have just said that! You’re not on the fucking ice!” He gets them both up. “What’s in there that I can’t see?”

“Personal things.”

“Babe.” He pinches the bridge of her nose. “Get your clothes off, now, and I will get your pj’s.”

He goes back into where he knows she keeps her larger t-shirts.

“Harry!” His eyes grow wide after grabbing a shirt off the top. There were two different vibrators and a dildo. “I’ve only ever used the little one…”

“Put this on.” He hands her the t-shirt and closes the drawer.

She strips out of her clothes and he looks the other way to give her some privacy. She gets stuck when she tries to get her shirt on and he helps her.

“Fuck, I have to pee so bad.” She says, sprinting out of the room. He sits down on her bed and waits for her. She brushes her teeth while she’s in the bathroom too. “You’re still here?” She asks, shocked.

“Where the fuck am I going? I’m not leaving you like this.”

“But…you saw the things.”

“We can talk about it tomorrow, or never, I don’t really care.” She sits on his thighs, straddling his lap. “Y/N.” He sighs.

“I just…I don’t want you to think…I mean…I got them over winter break, and-“

“I don’t care, you don’t need to tell me, okay? Can we go to sleep?”

“You’re gonna stay?”

“I just said I was going to! Come on.”

“You’re angry.”

“I’m a little cranky, yeah. Your friend called me drunk to tell me your head was in a toilet while I was sleeping. At least tomorrow we don’t have class until 10:30, so I’ll have to get back and grab my shit beforehand. Now, lay down on the edge so you’re closer to the bucket.” He rids himself of his sweats, leaving himself in his boxers, and gets in with her. She turns to face him while he’s facing her. “You need to turn over.”

“But you’re so pretty.” She whispers and it makes him crack a smile as she pokes his dimple. “I’m sorry she called you.”

“I’m not, I’d come get you any time. I’ll carry you home whenever you need.” He strokes the side of her face. “You’ve done the same for me, it’s fine. Just lay on your stomach for me, okay? I’ll rub your back how you like.”

“Okay.” She smiles and does as he says. She falls asleep with him softly petting on her and it feels amazing.

His alarm goes off at 8AM and she groans.

“Up, let’s go.” He says, rummaging through her closet for her spare towels. “We’re showering quickly and then going to my place, and then we’re getting greasy breakfast sandwiches so you’re not hungover for class.”

“Eric won’t care, he likes me.” Y/N mumbles.

“A little too much if you ask me.”

“Oh stop. I could say the same about that freshman you’re tutoring.”

“How about neither of us play the jealous game?”

“Deal.” She stands and nearly vomits. “Ugh, I feel like shit.”

“You’ll feel better soon.”

“You came to my rescue last night?”

“Yup, that’s me, prince charming.” He rolls his eyes and tugs her out of her room.

She puts her hair up and they both get into the shower. Harry gets them both clean, and dressed. He makes sure she has everything for class, and then they head to his place. Once he has all of his things, and has new sweats on, they head to the coffee shop on campus for breakfast sandwiches.

“Harry…you’re wearing sweatpants to class.”

“I’m aware.”

“But you never wear sweatpants to class.”

“I’m a little fucking tired, Y/N, is that alright?”

“Please don’t be mad at me.”

“I’m not…” He sighs and looks at her. “I just…I’m feeling anxious from things happening so abruptly. My entire routine got messed up and-“ He could feel his breathing quickening so he takes a deep breath. “It’s fine, I’m fine, we’re fine, let’s just go eat.”

They both get coffees and breakfast sandwiches and grab a table to sit. They had about thirty minutes before class, so they could take their time eating.

“Fuck, this was a good idea.” She moans as she eats.

“Yeah.” He agrees as he bites into his own. “Can you do me a favor?”

“Sure.”

“Maybe go a little less hard at the parties during the week?”

“You got it. I hate throwing up, I’m not dealing with that again, nor am I going to do that to you again.”

“I wouldn’t care…it’s just…it was a school night is all.”

Y/N nods her head and continues eating her breakfast sandwich. Once they’re done, they head to class and sit down. Eric was there a little earlier than usual.

“Ah, Y/N, I’m glad you’re here. I wanna talk to you about your paper on your Bond comparative essay.”

“Oh…okay.” Y/N walks up to him and he takes her paper out. Harry can’t help but watch the conversation as other students come into class. “I know I’m not a very good writer…”

“No! You’re brilliant, actually. This is one of the better papers I’ve seen. You made a lot of incredible points. You got an A, see?” He shows her and her eyes grow wide. “I was wondering if I could if I could hang onto this and scan it to save as a copy. Students are always asking me for example papers, and I think this is a great paper to use.”

“Are you serious? Yeah, that’s fine with me.”

“Great, thanks.” He smiles. “Well done.”

“Thank you…” She blinks and sits back down. She looks at Harry in shock. “He wants to keep my paper to use as an example.”

“That’s great! You worked really hard on that one, Y/N, you deserve a little praise.”

Eric passes out the rest of the papers, and gives Y/N hers so she could look at any notes he may have made. Harry also got an A, not that Y/N was surprised, but she was happy for him nonetheless.

“H, what did you get?” Billy whispers from behind him. Harry turns to look at him.

“An A, what about you?”

“B+, not too bad.”

“Alright everyone, today, as a treat, we’re going to watch Austin Powers since we’ve just finished our Bond unit. Since we’ve watched a few films, you’ll see that this movie takes a lot from Gold Finger and Golden Eye.” He says as he starts the movie and turns the lights.

“Ugh, thank god. If there was ever a day to just chill in class, it’s today.” Y/N whispers to Harry.

“Agreed.” He whispers.

Eric clears his throat to get their attention, and they both sit back in their seats. There were plenty of laughs throughout class as the movie continued. Y/N stretches as she stands once class ends, revealing a little bit of her stomach. Harry catches Eric looking briefly, and puts his arm around her shoulders.

“Have a good stats class.” She puckers lips and kisses him.

“Thanks, have a good rest of your day. I won’t be able to meet up tonight, I’m doing a group tutoring session, and then I have an 8AM tomorrow…”

“Okay, well…thanks again for last night. I really owe you.”

“No you don’t.” He smiles and gives her a lingering kiss before they part ways.

//

Spring break was definitely the detox Y/N needed from all of the drinking she had been doing with the hockey team, although, she really didn’t want to go home. Harry would be staying on campus with any other students who couldn’t go home. He had projects he needed to work on, but he also thought it would be a nice time break to spend with Y/N. She couldn’t stay on campus, though, because she needed to work at the bar. She also needed to bring up going to Italy this summer to her mom.

“Great work tonight, honey.” Angie says to her as they wipe down the tables.

“Thanks…um…can I talk to you about something?”

“Of course!” She stops what she’s doing to look at her daughter. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine, I just…well, I’ve been invited somewhere this summer, and I’d really like to go.”

“Alright, where have you been invited to?”

“Italy.” She mumbles.

“Come again?”

“Italy.” She says a little louder. “See, Harry-“

“Oh, here we go.” Angie rolls her eyes.

“Mum, please, let me just explain.”

“Okay.” She crosses her arms and sits down.

“He and his friends spend three weeks in Italy every summer, one of their dad’s has a house by the water or something. They go end of July through early August, so it’s not like I’d be missing the holiday rush…I’d like to go the whole time, but I’d be willing to compromise, and I’ll pay my own way.”

“You expect me to let you take an international flight alone? What if you get abducted?”

“Mum.”

“Three weeks alone with your boyfriend is a long time…”

“Well, we won’t be alone, his friends will be there.”

“You know what I mean.” She sighs. “I really hate this whole you being an adult thing. I can’t really say no, you’re almost twenty years old, and it will be summer so you should take advantage and travel…” She takes a moment and looks at Y/N. “Could you go for two weeks instead of three? I think that’s plenty of time to spend together.”

“Yeah! I can definitely do that.” She smiles.

“And I’ll pay for half the ticket, that’ll be your birthday present. Your passport should still be good from high school.”

“Mum!” She squeals and hugs Angie. “Thank you so much, Harry’s going to be so excited!” She kisses her cheek. “I’m excited too, of course.”

“Well, I should hope so.” She chuckles, and they continue to close down the bar.

//

Y/N convinced Angie to drive her back to campus on Friday instead of Sunday. She dropped off all her things, and walked to Harry’s. She knocks on the door, and he opens it confused, but happy to see her.

“Hey!” He wraps his arms around her. “You’re back early.”

“Wanted to surprise you, can I come in?”

“Of course! Yeah, come on in.”

“Are you busy?”

“I was just working on a paper, but I can definitely take a break.” Hey both go up to his room, and he moves his things away from the bed so they can both sit. “Got a lot done this week, I’m feeling good.”

“That’s great! Okay, so, I have really good news that I’ve been keeping to myself because I wanted to tell you in person.”

“Oh? Please, do tell.” He grins.

“My mom said I could come to Italy this summer! Only for two weeks instead of three, but still.”

“That’s great!” He cups her jaw and pulls her in for a kiss. “We’re gonna have so much fun. I can show you what website to go on for the plane ticket, there’s this site that sells them for really cheap. I use it when I go home and stuff.”

“Sounds good, thanks. I think two weeks will be plenty, don’t you?”

“I mean, sure.” He shrugs.

“I wouldn’t want us getting on each other’s nerves being together 24/7.”

“We’ll be too busy to get on each other’s nerves, trust me. I can’t wait to tell my friends you’re coming, they’re dying to meet you.”

“Aw, that’s sweet. What are their names?”

“Well, Lou and Niall will be there, they came last year and are coming again. They go right from there to here for soccer. Then there’s my friend Adam, his dad is the one who owns the house, and Mike, Ben, and Clark.”

“Are any of them seeing someone?”

“Um, Adam brought a guy with him last summer, but they’re not dating anymore, so he may be going stag.” He shrugs. “When we were in high school we used to bring a lot of girls with us because we thought we were cool.” He laughs. “But Ben might bring someone, I’m not sure exactly. Sometimes we would just meet people in Italy to hang out with.”

“Hang out with.” She rolls her eyes. “Any Italian chicks I need to worry about.”

“Not that I can think of.” He taps his chin playfully. “You know me, I’m a real sexual deviant.” He says sarcastically and she nudges him. “Come here.”

He pulls her down to lay with him, and they both sigh. He rubs her back and she lays her leg over both of his, pressing into the bulge that’s growing in his pants. He tilts her chin up to look at him and she removes his glasses. He presses his lips to hers and she moves the rest of the way on top of him. He licks at her bottom lip, and she opens up for him. He has one arm wrapped around her back, and the other one around her ass, keeping her nice and close. Her fingers slot through his soft hair and she moans softly when she rolls hips her hips slowly on his.

“Missed you.” He says against her lips, taking her bottom lip between his teeth.

“Missed you too.” She whimpers as he presses his hips harder up towards hers.

Things started to get a little more heated from there, Y/N could feel her lips getting swollen from how hard her and Harry were kissing each other, and she was about ready to lose it in her pants from the way they were grinding on each other.

“Harry.” She groans. “Please.”

“Please what?” He moves her hair away from her neck and starts sucking on her soft skin.

“Can we please fuck?”

“Yes.”

He flips them over so she’s on her back, and he yanks her leggings and panties off in one swoop. She gets her shirt and bra off while he gets naked himself. He climbs back onto the bed and he wraps her legs around his waist. She slides her hands up and down his torso and chest.

“Have I ever told you how much I love your tattoos? Because I do, they’re so cool.” Her hands trace over the ferns on his hips.

“Thanks baby.” His hands knead her breasts.

Harry slides his hard dick over her folds and against her clit, causing her hips to buck up. He dips his head down to kiss on her neck and her hand wrap around his back, nails digging in.

“Do you wanna…put it in?”

She feels him nod his head yes, and before she knows it he’s pushing inside her. Her gasp turns into a moan. She bites down on his shoulder as he rocks in and out of her. He sucks on one of her nipples as he thrusts in and out.

“Feels so fucking good.” Her head rolls back into the pillows.

He pulls out and grins at her. She raises an eyebrow at him, and then he flips her over, pulls her up to her knees. She looks back at him as he slides in again. He gets an even pace going, and then he tugs her back to him, his chest flush with her back. He’s got one arm snaked around her, and the other rubbing slow circles on her clit.

“Fuck, oh my god.” Her head rolls back to his shoulder and she looks up at him. He slots his mouth over hers, and the both moan into each other.

“This why you wanted to come back early? Just really needed my cock?” He says into her ear and it has her pushing her ass against him.

“Thought about you every night.” She groans.

“Yeah? Did you bring home your little toys to help you out?”

“H-Harry, don’t-“

“Maybe I should use one on you sometime, would you like that?”

She was dripping all around his cock, she loved when he would just say whatever he wanted into her ear.

“Only wanna feel you.” She admits. It was true, she didn’t like having to use her vibrator, as good as it felt. She really just preferred Harry’s hands on her.

She feels him smile into her neck, knowing that was exactly what he wanted to hear. He picks up the pace on the way he’s rubbing her clit and he feels her squeeze around him. She hooks an arm up around his head to tug at his hair.

“Shit, Harry!” She cries out as she comes to her release.

He gently lets go of her so she can press her front to the mattress. He keeps his hands on her hips as he drives into her hard and fast. He had her panting, and he was panting too. He pulls out and comes on her ass and back before collapsing next to her.

“Fuck.” He breathes and then looks at her. “You have the most perfect ass I’ve ever fucking seen.”

“Shut up.” She giggles.

“Let me clean you up.” He kisses her forehead and then gets up to grab a rag to wipe her clean.

“Thank you.”

He gets back onto the bed and pulls her close to him. They lay there naked for a bit, just enjoying the time skin to skin.

“Do you feel like having a little date night tonight since you’re here? We could go downtown for dinner and then come back to watch a movie in the living room.”

“I’d like that. I’d just wanna go home and change first.”

“Oh cute, then I can come pick you up.”

“Always the romantic.” She kisses his cheek and gets up to grab her clothes. “Give me, like, an hour to get ready, yeah?”

“Sounds good to me, see you soon.” He smiles and kisses her as she leaves his room.

Harry was really happy that Y/N came back a couple of days early. He was trying to play it a little more cool, but she was such a source of comfort for him. He had incorporated her into his routine, so when she wasn’t around he would get a little anxious, which he knew wasn’t healthy, but there wasn’t much he could do about it right now.

He puts on a green sweater with the black jeans he knows she likes, and puts his contacts in. He runs his hand through his hair a few times, getting his curls to sit just right. He knew he needed a haircut, but he also liked when Y/N would really tug on his hair. His logic was the longer his hair the better the grip she could get on him. He left the bit of scruff he had grown out and put on some cologne. He heads down the stairs to put his boots on and goes into the living room.

“Going on a date with my girl, mind if we have the living room when we get back? We’re gonna watch a movie. You can join if you want-“

“And watch the two of you make out?” Louis scoffs. “I’ll pass, mate.”

“Same here.” Niall chuckles. “But we can definitely clear out of here.”

“Thanks, I just get sick of watching stuff on my little laptop screen. Are you guys doing anything tonight?”

“Might go see some of the girls from the other international house. I don’t see myself staying out too late, I went a little too hard last night.” Louis says.

“Yeah, I spewed in the bushes, so I won’t be drinking tonight.” Niall says.

“Alright.” Harry chuckles. “Well, see you later.”

Harry makes the walk to Y/N’s apartment, and he knocks on the door when he gets there. His cheeks immediately blush when he sees her. She had a dark blue thing sweater dress on, showing off all her curves. She paired with some black boots and black tights, looking cuter than ever.

“You look so pretty.” He pouts at her and takes her hand.

“Thanks, thought I’d dress up a little It’s rare that we get to go on a real date.”

“I know! I’m really glad you came back a couple days early. Meant it when I said I missed you.”

“I meant it too.” She loops her arm through his so she can cling to him a little tighter.

The end up at the local bistro, even though Y/N told Harry it would be too expensive, but he assured her it was fine. She talks about her week working at the bar, and he talks about what he might do for work this summer.

“I could always go back to the bakery, but I really want to take the rest of the semester to figure out what I actually want to do. I might go see my advisor next week. I literally have zero idea what I want to do with my life.” He sighs and pops a fry into his mouth.

“Does anyone?” She laughs.

“Well, you sort of do. You’ve got a job lined up right away after graduation.”

“Yeah, working for my mom until she decides to retire really sounds great.” She rolls her eyes. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I wanna take over the bar, but I wanna do it more in a way where like I could open up multiple locations, you know? I could oversee multiple businesses across the country.”

“Wow…that would be really cool.”

“It’s just an idea, I don’t know if it’ll ever happen. People like small town bars with good food, and that’s what my mom has, I think opening up multiple locations could work, it would just take a lot of marketing and PR. I may pick up a PR minor, the classes double count in my major and I think that may be what I’m a little more interested in these days.”

Harry loved listening to Y/N talk about her aspirations. She really was smart, and he didn’t think she gave herself enough credit.

“Are you not interested in the law stuff anymore?”

“I don’t know…” He sighs. “It’s just such a big commitment, you know? It’s more school, and then you basically have to study and pass the bar where you want to live, and I have no idea where I want to live. I don’t know if I wanna stay in the U.K. forever. I’ve barely been able to explore America while I’ve been here, and there are parts of Europe I’d like to go to. I don’t know, maybe I’ll become a travel blogger or something.” He jokes.

“You laugh, but you’d hit it big.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Well…” She blushes. “You’re insanely hot, Harry, so you have that going for you. People would follow you on a superficial level, and then there’s the fact that you’re smart and nice. You could talk about the country or town you’re in and say what you really liked and what you discovered.”

“Not a very sustainable job though.”

“Have you ever thought about becoming a teacher? You’re really good at explaining things. You never once made me feel stupid last semester.”

“I think I’m better one on one. I feel like whenever I have to give a presentation I just word vomit. I’m also not on an education track, so again, more school. I ‘d need my master’s, and you need to take whatever tests there are in the state you want to work in, and that’s if I wanna stay in America. I don’t even know what I’d want to teach…”

“You could find a job like in a tutoring office like we have here. It takes someone really important to run those types of offices and-“

“Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“Um…do you mind if we change the subject a little?” His leg wouldn’t stop bouncing. “I know this stuff is important to talk through and figure out, but it’s making me anxious.”

“Oh!” She reaches across the table and puts her hand over his. “I’m so sorry, of course we can talk about something else, anything else.” She smiles. “What movie do you feel like watching later?”

They settled on The Devil Wears Prada. It was something they had both seen, so it didn’t matter if they paid attention or not.  His arm was around her and they were lounging comfortably.

“I really like this dress you’re wearing.”

“Yeah? Thought you preferred me in sweats.” She raises an eyebrow at him.

“You could wear a paper sack and I’d like it on you.” This makes her burst out laughing and he smiles down at her.

They both adjust so they can lay down, and he pulls her body on top of his. She sucks on his bottom lip, and his hands slide down to her ass. His tongue drags of hers and she moans into his mouth.

“You’ll stay tonight?” He whispers. “Missed having you to hold onto at night.”

“Of course I’ll stay.” She stays. “No one else I’d rather have cuddles with.” She kisses on his jaw and moves to his neck.

“Leave a good one on me babe, mark me up.”

Y/N bites down decently hard on Harry’s neck and it makes him grit his teeth and squeeze at her harder, but god did it feel good. Truth be told one of his regular tutees flirted with him a lot, and even though he had mentioned Y/N over and over, she would still flirt with him. A nice new hickey may help her get the picture. Also, Harry just really liked getting them. He liked giving them too, but they just felt so fucking good.

//

“Did you have a nice break, Harry?”

“Yeah, Bri, thanks, did you?”

“Mhm, I got caught up on some things, but I’m definitely still struggling with Intro to Gen Psych…”

“Alright, well, let’s look at your notes from class.”

She reaches into her bag, and when she gets everything out, she notices Harry taking his jacket and scarf off. Her eyes bug out when she sees the giant welt on Harry’s neck. Now, normally he would want to be more professional, but at the end of the day, he was twenty and didn’t give a fuck.

“Everything alright?”

“Um…y-yeah, everything’s fine? Did you, um, go out over the weekend?”

“I did, yeah. Went to a party with some friends Saturday night. My girlfriend came back a couple days early too, that was nice.” He smiles and grabs her notes. “See, I think if you highlighted within your notes, like we’ve talked about, you would have an easier time finding things.”

“Right, um, sorry, Harry.”

“Don’t apologize to me.” He furrows his brows at her. “I already passed this class, it’s you who still needs to finish it. Tutoring can help a lot, but if you don’t take what we do here and apply it elsewhere, you’re not going to see any improvements.”

He was close to her, showing her what she should highlight, and it made her nervous, but in the best possible way. All of a sudden they hear some giggling, and it was a giggle Harry knew all too well. They both look up and see a good chunk of the hockey team. Many of the girls still got together to study like they would during the season.

“Oh, shit, is that Harry?!” Megan says. “Ow ow! Look at him on the clock.” She teases.

“Leave him alone.” Y/N swats a hand at her, and looks over to Harry, mouthing I’m sorry. He waves at them and gives them a half smile.

“Damn, Y//N, I would have tried to fuck my tutor too if it were him.” Another girl teases her and they all start laughing.

“Hey, uh,” Harry turns around in his chair and smirks, “we’re in a library, ladies.”

“Is that so?” Y/N struts over to him and looks at Bri. “Careful with him, he’s a little too good at his job.” She kisses Harry’s cheek and then goes off with the girls to the back of the library.

“Sorry about that, Bri.” Harry chuckles.

“So…that was your girlfriend?”

“Mhm.” He smiles proudly. “Now then,” he clears his throat, “let’s talk more about your note taking, shall we?”

//

It was hard enough saying goodbye to Ashley, Megan, and some of the other seniors on the team, but it was just about move out day, and Y/N cried every time she thought about not being able to just walk down a couple of streets to see Harry.

“We’ll see each other before you know it, and when we do we’ll have two weeks of perfect weather in Italy together.” He says as he holds her close to him in bed.

“I know, I’m just really sad.” She cries into his chest and he tries his best to soothe her.

“Please don’t cry, Y/N, you’re killing me.”

“I’m sorry.” She sniffles. “I don’t mean to be like this. The time difference just sucks, Harry.”

“I know.” He sighs.

“And you won’t even get to see me for my birthday.” It was in a couple of weeks.

“But we already sort of celebrated, remember the big party we had here last weekend?”

“How could I forget? You made me margaritas all night, and then fucked my brains out.” She chuckles and so does he. “Couldn’t walk right for two days.”

“Cause I know you like it like that.” He kisses the top of her head. “Look, I’m gonna miss you too. It’s not easy being away from your favorite person, but we’ll make it work. It’ll just make things better when we see each other again. I do have one favor, though?”

“What?” She looks up at him.

“You’ll have to leave lots of marks on me, really good ones, so that they’ll just barely have faded by the time I see you. The only thing is, my mum will be pissed if she sees my neck like that, you’ll have to be creative about where you put them.”

“Challenge accepted.” She gives him a devious smile and sinks down under his covers. Thank god Harry had an a/c in his room.

“What are you…oh!” He starts laughing when he feels her suck on his inner thigh, like he would normally do to her. “Why did you tell me this tickled so much?!” He rips the blanket away to look down at her.

“It doesn’t tickle when you do it to me.” She pouts up at him. She moves to kiss on his hip and then things feel less funny.

“Yeah, I like it when you do it there.”

She kisses up his chest and sucks a nice, dark mark on one of his pecs and then smiles up at him. Her eyes start to water again and she hides her face in his neck.

“What happened?”

“We’re not going to be able to do this whenever we want soon, and it just…” She cries into him again.

“Baby.” He coos. “Let’s just enjoy right now, yeah?” He rubs her back. “Want me to make love to you? Be all sweet and slow?”

“Mhm.” She says, muffled from the way she’s pressing further into him.

“Alright.” He rolls them both over and runs his fingers over her folds. Yes, they were both already naked.

He slides his middle finger inside her slowly, working his way in and out, sucking on her nipple as he does so. This helps her to calm down just like he was hoping. He sucks his finger into his mouth when he’s done and then rubs his hard dick against her clit. She groans and then he slips inside. He hides his face in her neck so he can kiss on her while he rocks in and out. They both just wanted to be as close as possible right now.

“Harry?”

“Yeah?” He moves to look at her and she puts her hands on his shoulders.

“When you get close, will you please come inside me?” She looks so innocent right now.

“If I say yes will you promise to tell me when you get your period?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, baby, I’ll come inside you when the time comes.”

She pulls his face down to hers to kiss him. Things are slow and sloppy and just perfect. He rubs her clit to help her along and she cries out as she comes. She nearly comes again when she feels him fill her up. It was the first time he had ever come inside her without a condom, and it felt so fucking good.

“I love you so much.” He says to her as he pulls out.

“I love you too.” She clamps her legs together to try not to make a mess on his bed, and she stands up. She throws on one of his shirts before heading to the bathroom.

They snuggle all night, and most of the morning. Harry helps her pack up her apartment, and he waits with her for Angie to come pick her up. It was a really difficult goodbye, but Harry tried to stay strong for the both of them. Of course the second the car pulled away he started crying. He calmed himself down, though. They would call, text, and FaceTime. Thank god she was coming to Italy.

//

“Shit.” Y/N says to herself.

“What?” Julie asks coming into her room.

“According to my pills, I’m going to have my period when I’m in Italy.” She groans.

“So?”

“So?! I’m gonna be swimming and stuff.”

“Just use a tampon.”

“I’m going to be with mostly boys, and I have zero idea if it’s a fancy boat with a bathroom on it. I’ll only have it a few days, but still. Fuck, and I’ll probably have it right when I first see Harry.”

“Do you guys not…do it when you have your period?”

“Don’t be gross.”

“It’s a valid question!”

“We did, like, once in the shower, but it sort of hurts, so it I didn’t like it and we didn’t do it again.” She sighs. “I miss him so much, I don’t think I’ll care when I finally see him.”

“Show me the new bathing suits you got.”

“Hey.” Cooper comes into the room as well and just stands there, munching on some chips.

“What?” Y/N asks.

“M’bored.”

“Wanna look at my new bathing suits?”

“Alright, yeah.”

//

“You have WhatsApp?”

“Already downloaded.”

“And you’ll text me updates, and you will take a picture of you and Harry together so I know you’re really with him?”

“Yes, mum! Please, I need to go get through security. I love you, and I’ll see you in a couple of weeks.”

“I love you too, have a great time.”

Y/N gets through security, and texts Harry and her mom updates. She had the window seat so she was able to get comfortable for her long flight. She wanted to look cute and refreshed, so she gets up to change in the bathroom of the plane. She puts on a pair of high-waist jean shorts, and a black crop top. Her hair is down, but she ties a bandana he had given to her in it, and touched up her makeup. She was feeling really good, despite being in the middle of her period. At least it would end in a day or so.

The flight lands on time, and Y/N texts Harry and her mom that she’s landed. She gets her backpack on, and manages to follow the signs to baggage. Luckily there were a lot of signs in English. Harry had “tutored” her a bit in Italian this summer, so she wasn’t totally lost. As she approaches baggage she squints when she sees three guys who look very familiar.

“Oi! There she is!” Louis says and Harry turns around, beaming at Y/N.

She runs towards him and jumps into his arms, wrapping all of her limbs around him. He looked so fucking good in his little shorts and t-shirt and tanned skin. Their lips collide and they almost forget their in the airport.

“I hate to break this up, but which bags are yours, pet?” Niall asks.

“Oh! The floral ones!” She points to them as they come off the belt. Harry sets her down and he grabs her bags. She gives Niall and Louis a hug as well. “Now, if we let you two sit in the back of the car together, do you promise to hold off on the groping?” He teases them as they walk out to the parked cars.

“Think I can behave myself for a bit, yeah, Y/N?”

“I’ll do my best.” She giggles. “How far away are we form the house?”

“Bout an hour, not too far.” Harry says. “We’re having dinner on the boat tonight, you’ll love it. Fresh steamers, you like those, right?”

“Love ‘em.” She smiles.

He puts his arm around her and keeps her close as Louis drives back to the house. She switches her gaze from Harry to out the window, unsure of what she preferred to soak up in the moment. Harry had a lovely tan, his hair was a tad shorter, but not by much, and he had definitely been trying to grow out his scruff. He was handsome as ever.

“You look really cute.” He whispers in her ear and it sends a shiver up her spine. “Is that the bandana I gave you?”

“Mhm.” She smiles up at him. “I wear it all the time at work.”

“Good, it suits you.”

They pull up to the house in what feels like no time at all, and Y/N’s jaw drops as she gets out of the car. It was beautiful, and private. There was a path to a private dock where the boat was, and there were a couple of other guys outside.

“I’m just gonna show Y/N to our room, and then we’ll come down for dinner.” Harry tells Niall and Louis as they make their way to the boat.

“Our room, huh?” Y/N smirks up at Harry as he carries her bags in. He stops short and looks at her.

“Shit, uh, did…fuck, did you not want to stay with me? I think we can-“

“Harry!” She laughs. “Jesus, I was kidding, why would I come all this way and not sleep in a bed with you?”

“I…don’t do that.” He side eyes her as they both go inside. She shakes her head at.

“Wow…even more beautiful on the inside.” She looks around.

He hums his response and gestures to follow him upstairs. There were a lot of bedrooms, both on the main level and second level of the home. Harry was the only one to bring a date this summer, so his friends granted him the privilege of the bedroom with the en suite bath.

“Here we are, love.” He puts her bags down and closes the door behind them. He lets her look around for a moment. She peeps her head into the bathroom and then she smiles at him.

“This is amazing. I can’t believe I’m really here.

“Me neither.” He cups her jaw and kisses her. She wraps her arms around his waist as he licks into her mouth. “Missed you, baby.”

“Missed you too.” He bites down on her bottom lip, and his hands start to slide farther south, but she stops him. “We can’t.”

“Dinner can wait.”

“No, I mean…I need two more days.”

“What?”

“I have my period, but it should be done soon. I’m sorry…”

“It’s alright.” He sighs. “Better to have it now than later when we’re camping, right?”

“Mhm.” She smiles and kisses him again.

“Besides, we’ve got that nice big shower.” He winks at her, and then leads her out of the bedroom.

He keeps his hand on the small of her back as they walk down the dock to the boat. She could already smell the seafood.

“Shit!” She stops short. “We have to take a selfie to send to my mom, she wanted proof I wasn’t kidnapped.”

“Alright.” He chuckles. She takes her phone out to snap the quick photo, and then they continue onto the boat. “Oi! Can I get everyone’s attention, thank you.” All of the boys look at Harry and Y/N. “Clark, Adam, Ben, this is my girlfriend, Y/N.”

“Hi.” She says shyly.

“Don’t look like a hockey player to me.” Ben says, jokingly. “Nice to meet you, finally.” He extends his hand and she shakes it.

“Don’t be fooled, she can really pack a punch.” Harry says, sitting down.

“It’s great to meet you, Y/N.” Adam says, giving her a hug. “Hope you don’t mind being with a bunch of guys for the next couple of weeks.”

“It’s not a problem.” She smiles.

“Harry’s told us a lot about you.” Clark says, shaking her hand. “Nice to actually see you in person. Harry’s always sending us pictures of you.”

Y/N turns to look at Harry, giving him a face.

“All tasteful, I promise. Come here.” He pulls her to sit on his lap. “How’s dinner coming along?”

“The steamers have just about popped.” Adam says. “We’ve also got crab legs. Do you like all that, Y/N?”

“Yeah, I love seafood, thank you.”

“Alright, now that we don’t need to drive anywhere else,” Niall starts. “can we get to drinking?”

“Read my mind.” Ben says, getting up to pull the cooler of beer over. “Do you like beer, Y/N? We have other drinks if you don’t.”

“Beer’s great, thanks.” She smiles and leans forward to grab one for her and Harry. “I guess this is my first legal drink, that’s sorta cool.”

“That’s right! You don’t have to second guess a thing here.” Harry says, cracking his beer open. They all clink their cans together and take a sip.

Adam brings the pig pot of steamers up from below deck, and Clark brings out the crab legs and butter. Louis helps with the cocktail sauce and plates. Everyone takes what they want and dig in.

“Mm, these are delicious.” Y/N says. “Thanks so much for making all this.”

“We thought your arrival would be the perfect night to do this, so thank you.” Adam says.

“So, you three have known Harry since high school?”

“Well, we call it secondary school.” Ben says. “But yeah, think you and Adam have known each other the longest though.” Harry nods his head. “We became pretty good mates after a school camping trip.”

“I think we started coming here when we were sixteen?” Clark looks at Adam.

“I’d say so, yeah. My dad’s had this house a while. I think sixteen is when he trusted us enough to come here a lone. Lotta good summers here.”

“How did you two meet again? You had a class together?” Ben asks.

“Nope, she needed a tutor.” Harry says.

“Mhm, and lucky me, I got paired up with the most studious one of them all.”

“H really is a bit serious, isn’t he?” Clark teases.

“Gotta be serious to get good grades.”

“So, how did Harry get all these tattoos, I’m not seeing many on you.” She says to three of them.

“That would be me, love.” Louis says. “You didn’t get them all with me, but I feel like freshman year we were constantly driving out to the tattoo shop.”

“Once I got one I couldn’t stop.” Harry says. “I went with these guys to get a few more, the ones on my arms. My mum was pissed.”

“Didn’t you say she nearly fainted when she saw the butterfly?” Clark asks with a laugh.

“Yeah, that’s why I got so many on my stomach in the first place so she wouldn’t see, but it was inevitable.” He shrugs. “Think I’m due for a new one while we’re here, I’d say.” He looks at his right arm. “Not sure where though.” He laughs.

“You should get a mate for your mermaid.” Niall jokes.

“She’s an independent woman, she’s all set.”

Everyone laughs and continues to enjoy their food. They all help clean up and enjoy more drinks by the fire pit after the sun goes down fully. Y/N was having difficulty staying awake. She was up early, had that long flight, and she really just wanted to shower and go to bed.

“Would you care if I went in?” She says to him. “Think I’m ready to for a shower, and I wanna unpack a bit.”

“Sure! Yeah, I’ll head in with you in a minute.”

“Okay.” She stands up. “Night everyone, thanks for a great first say.” She smiles and then heads inside.

“She’s really nice, H.” Adam says. “I like her a lot already.”

“Thanks.” Harry smiles. “I like her a lot too.” He stands up and heads up to their shared bedroom.

“You could have stayed outside if you wanted, I’m just getting my things settled.”

“I know…I thought you might need help with the shower.” He rubs the back of his neck.

“I probably could have figure it out.” She smirks at him.

“Well, maybe I need a shower too. Been outside all day, after all.” He steps closer to her and she can feel her cheeks heating up.

“Harry…I…I want to, but…” She bites her bottom lip. “Last time we tried to do it on my period it really hurt, and I didn’t like it as much as I may have led on.”

“You didn’t fake it did you?”

“No! I came, but…it just wasn’t super comfortable. I really wanna be close with you, I just need a couple more days, and then you can pound me into the mattress for all I care.” Harry chuckles at her statement and he nods.

“Well, can we still shower together without the funny business? I just really missed you.”

“Yeah, just give me a minute in there alone, you know the drill.”

He nods and watches her walk into the en suite with her toiletry bag. She gets the water going, and steps in, opting to get her hair wet to give it a good wash. She calls for him once she feels secure enough, and he comes in right away. They look at each other for a moment, and then he crashes his mouth to hers, pushing her against the wall. Her hands fly to his hair and she moans into his mouth at the feeling of his hard dick pressed against her hip. His tongue glides against her as he gropes her breast with one hand and her ass with the other. He detaches his lips from hers to get some air, and immediately starts sucking on her neck.

“Th-thought you said no funny business.” She manages to get out.

“I don’t find any of this funny, do you?” He says lowly into her ear.

“No.” She breathes and he continues his attack on her neck.

“Don’t worry, I’m not gonna do anything you don’t wanna do.” He pulls away from her slightly. “I just couldn’t help myself when I walked in here, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” She pulls him back, pressing their fronts together. “I really missed you too.”

After some more passionate kisses, they clean themselves up and get out of the shower. Harry leaves her so she has some privacy putting her underwear on. She runs the blow dryer through her quickly so it’s not sopping wet before coming to bed. She throws on a large t-shirt, and Harry can’t help but smile as he watches his cute girlfriend crawl into the large bed with him.

“So, are you not able to swim? We were hoping to take the boat out tomorrow.”

“Does the boat have a bathroom?”

“It does! It’s small, but functional.”

“Then I can definitely go swimming.” She smiles and cozies up to him. She sighs happily. “I really missed this.”

“Me too.” He looks down at her. “I think I sleep better when you’re next to me.”

She pouts up at him and slots her mouth over his. It felt so good to just be able to kiss and touch how they pleased. FaceTiming was great and all, but always left them with a sense of wanting and yearning. The physical touch was something they both craved from the other.

//

The morning sun creeps into the bedroom, causing Y/N’s eyes to flutter open. She feels like she’s in a dream, but things become real when she feels Harry’s arms around her and his pelvis pressing into her ass. She thinks to maybe take care of him, offer up a hand job or something, but before she can he’s peppering kisses to the back of her neck and then getting out of bed.

“Ready to start the day?” He yawns. “We gotta pack up everything we wanna eat for the day. There’s a mini kitchen below deck, which is nice. I stalked up on some things I know you like from the store.”

“Thank you.” She smiles as he walks into the bathroom. Y/N gets up and stretches a bit. She scowls when she feels a cramp roll through her lower body. She grabs her pills and swallows. She was on the first week of her new pack. “One more day and you’re gone.” She says to herself.

“Are you talking to your period?” Harry chuckles as he comes out of the bathroom.

“Maybe.” She raises an eyebrow at him. “Just started my new pack of pills, should definitely be over by tomorrow.”

“No worries.” He kisses her cheek and goes into the drawer for his swim trunks and a white t-shirt.

“Should I pack other clothes to change into?”

“Nah, we’ll come back here and get cleaned up. I think we’re gonnna go to a bar tonight, should be fun.”

Y/N nods and searches for one of her new bathing suits. She snatches and goes into the bathroom. She hated using tampons, especially this late in her period because things just felt uncomfortably dry, but it wasn’t like she could wear a pad with her bottoms, so this is what she needs to do. Once that’s all situated, she puts her hair up into a messy bun, and slides her bottoms on. They were navy blue, not super high waist, but not super low cut either, mid-rise. She grabs her top, and struggles with getting the back tied. It was a really cute floral string top that matched perfectly with the bottoms.

“Har?” She calls from the bathroom.

“Yeah?” He peeps his head in carefully.

“Could you tie the back of this for me please?”

“Um…sure.” He swallows as he steps closer to her and ties the back of the top. “Is that good?”

She looks in the mirror and adjusts her breasts.

“Yeah, should be alright, thank you.”

“That’s a really nice bathing suit.”

“Thanks.” She smiles. “I just got it, I wanted to have some cute ones for the trip.” Her breasts giggle as she lets them go, and he can’t help but watch.

“Thought you might wear a one piece or something.” He says as he follows her out of the bathroom.

“I can’t really wear those, my torso is long, and they make them way too high cut, it’s not cute on me.” She puts on a pair of jean shorts and a tank top over her bathing suit and smiles at him. “You’ve got sunscreen and all that?”

“Yeah.”

Harry knew he didn’t need to worry about Louis, Niall, or Adam really looking at Y/N. It was Ben and Clark. As good of friends as they were, and they were just as respectful as Harry was, he knew they would still look and gawk at her. He had zero control over it, and that’s the part he hated.

The kitchen smells like fresh coffee, and Harry can hear Y/N giggling as Ben pours her a cup and gives her some creamer. Here we go, Harry thinks to himself.

“Here, Harry.” Louis says, handing him a cup of black coffee.

“Thanks.” He smiles and takes it from him.

“Sleep well, Y/N?” Clark asks.

“Better than I have in weeks, yeah.” She looks at Harry and he looks at her.

“Alrighty then.” Adam says. “Well, I’ve got most of the coolers packed, got all the sunscreen we could need. I figure we could grill on the boat for lunch later. Sound good with everyone?” Everyone hums in agreement. “Perfect, let’s head out.”

Y/N puts her sunglasses on and goes outside with everyone. She sits down on the boat and watches all the boys while they work to get going. It was quite a sight to see Harry maneuvering the different ropes. Adam drives the boat out, and Harry plops down next to Y/N.

“He’s gonna take us out to this sand bar where other boats anchor. It’s a lot of fun, just swimming around, doing nothing. You can lay out on the other end too, work on your tan.”

“Is that what you’ve been doing?”

“Mhm.” He smiles. “I love sitting out in the sun.”

“Me too. It’s been great working at the bar because I can go to the beach during the day with my friends and stuff, and then just go in at night.”

“How’s the gang doing?”

“Oh, they’re great. Max has a girlfriend, and she’s really nice. She came to visit for a weekend to meet all of us.”

Harry felt slightly relieved knowing that Max was seeing someone. He never brought his uneasiness about him to Y/N, and right now he was especially glad he didn’t.

“That’s nice.” He kisses her cheek.

Once the boat is anchored at the sandbar, Y/N takes her cover up off along with the boys. Having basically grown up in a locker room, Y/N wasn’t really nervous to be so exposed around friends. If they hadn’t seen a boob or a butt cheek by now then that was on them. She takes a few photos on her phone. The view was incredible, and she felt so lucky to be there. Harry comes up from behind her and gives her a squeeze.

“Would you help me with the sunscreen?” He asks.

“Of course!” She sprays it all over him and rubs it in on his back and shoulders. “Do me?”

He nods and does the same for her, making sure to get under her straps so she wouldn’t be splotchy. They hear a few splashes. Louis, Niall, and Clark all jumping in.

“The water’s so warm!” Niall shouts to everyone still aboard.

“I’m not quite ready to go in yet.” Y/N whispers to Harry.

“You don’t have to…here.” He grabs a towel from a bag. “Lay out on this, I’m just gonna go in for a quick dip and then I’ll join you.” He smiles and kisses the tip of her nose.

“M’surprised she’s not right in here with you.” Louis says as Harry swims over to them.

“She…uh…well, she’s got her period.” He whispers. “So I think she’s trying to hold off on going in for a bit.”

“Ah, say no more.” Louis says.

“That’s gotta be so annoying.” Niall says. “Did it just start?”

“No, she said it should end tomorrow, so she just needs to tough it out today.”

“We should have gone to the shops then…” Louis says.

“It’s alright, she can still swim, she just doesn’t want to have to deal with, uh, changing yet I think.”

“Changing what?” Clark asks.

“Her…you know.” Harry says, blushing. “Ugh, can we not talk about this actually?”

“Talk about what?” Ben asks as he swims towards them.

“Nothing.” Harry, Niall, and Louis all say at the same time.

They all hear Y/N laughing from the boat. Adam is sitting next to her on the deck.

“Look, Adam has someone to have girl talk with, this’ll be perfect.” Ben says.

“Oi.” Harry splashes him. “Don’t say shit like that. Just because he’s gay doesn’t mean he’s girly. We all paint our nails and wear jewelry for Christ’s sake, we’re not all exactly following gender norms here.”

“Okay, okay, fuck.” Ben laughs and splashes Harry back.

After his quick dip, Harry joins Y/N on the deck to lay out. She looked perfect to him. Laying on her stomach, he could see the cute curve of her bum. He lays down on a towel next to her, and boops her nose as she turns to look at him.

“How was the water?”

“Nice and warm, ready whenever you are.”

“Sun feels good.” She yawns.

“Good.” He smiles at her. “I’m so happy you’re here.”

“Me too.”

Y/N ends up falling asleep for a bit, which Harry thinks is the cutest thing in the world. He nudges her awake, though, and hands her a bottle of water. She shits up and happily takes it.

“Think I’m ready to go in now, I’m hot.”

“Okay.”

He leads her down to where the latter is, and helps her in by giving her a piggy back ride. She warned him that she wasn’t the strongest swimmer before the trip. Luckily, she could easily stand about belly button deep.

“Y/N, catch!” Niall tosses her a tennis ball, and she catches it.

Adam was hanging out on a float nearby with Ben, and Clark was talking with Louis about some soccer player. Y/N, Harry, and Niall get into a game of catch with the tennis ball. Once noon hits, someone has the brilliant idea to start drinking. Y/N goes up on deck with Harry and she pulls him aside.

“Would you come to the bathroom with me?” She whispers as she grabs her beach bag.

“Yeah.”

He leads her below deck and shows her the bathroom. She asks him to just wait outside and guard the door while she’s in there. He hears her grunt painfully before hearing the sink. She comes out with sigh.

“Alright?”

“Yeah…it just…ugh, it’s just annoying. It’s fine.” She takes a moment to look around. “It’s like a little apartment down here, it’s nice.”

“Yeah, the couch turns into a pull out, it’s pretty cool. We’ve all slept out on the boat before. One summer when there was a lot of us someone just used it as a spare room.”

“Who wants vodka?” Adam asks.

“Me!” Y/N says as her and Harry come back up. “Any soda or anything to go with it?”

“Cranberry juice.” Harry says with a grin and Y/N smiles wider.

Ben fires up the grill while everyone starts to drink. It was a delicious lunch that Y/N was grateful for. Everyone was getting a little tipsy, which resulted in Harry (and others) doing a backflip off the deck and into the water. Y/N had no idea Harry would even do that. He must really be letting loose.

Once everyone sobered up a bit, Adam drives the boat back to the house. It was the perfect day in the sun, but Y/N couldn’t wait to shower off all the sunscreen.

“Do you guys wanna, like, chill for a little while? I could use a nap, honestly.” Clark says. “We won’t be heading to the club until midnight so I’d rather sleep and then have a late dinner.”

“Agreed.” Niall says. “I’m exhausted.”

“Midnight?” Y/N says to Harry as they go up to their room.

“Yeah, things are open later here so we go out later. We’ll pregame and stuff like normal, but it’s sort of lame to be the first ones at a club.”

“Right.” She chuckles. “Well, I am in desperate need of a shower.”

“Alright, I suppose I’ll be a gentleman and let you go first.” He rolls his eyes playfully.

“You can come in with me.”

“If I do that I’m gonna need to fuck you, Y/N.”

“Oh.”

“You’ve looked so sexy all day.” He plays with the strap on the top of her bathing suit. “Don’t have much self-control left.”

“I’ll just, um, go in alone then.” She swallows.

She really wanted to have sex with Harry, but it just wasn’t time yet. She takes a quick shower, and he follows in shortly after her. She didn’t seem to be bleeding anymore, but she put a pad on anyways and a large t-shirt. She sinks into the pillows on the bed and waits for Harry.

“Think I need a nap too.” He yawns. “Swimming and day drinking really tires you out.”

“Yeah.” She laughs and opens her arms for him. He rests his head on her chest and gets comfy.

“This is the best.”

“Absolutely.” She plays with his damp hair and he feels like he’s going to melt into her.

“Oh!” He sits up abruptly and looks at her. “I had an epiphany the other night with the guys.”

“About what?”

“What I might like to do after graduation. We were sitting smoking and it just came to me.”

“I’m sorry, did you just say you were smoking?” She sits up with a surprised look on her face.

“I don’t do it during the school year because sometimes I wig out, but I was fine the other night. Anyways, do you wanna hear what I wanna do?”

“Of course, lay it on me.”

“Human Resources.”

“What about it?”

“That’s what I want to do, Y/N! I all of these ethics classes would really prepare me for that field, and I could literally work anywhere. I’d probably have to start out doing some customer service work and then slowly work my way up, but I think I could be good at it.”

“You wanna deal with sexual harassment stuff?”

“That’s not the only thing that HR reps do, there’s payroll, workplace compliance with dress code and safety. I’d be like Toby from The Office, only cool.”

Y/N smiles and giggle for a moment.

“Well, you’re clearly excited about it, so I think it’s great. Course, I think you’d be good at anything you set your mind to.”

“Thanks, babe. I know it sounds like a boring job, but I don’t think it has to be. Plus, you can make a fuck ton of money.”

“Is that the most important thing to you?”

“No, I suppose being happy is, but a decent salary would be nice too.”

“You’d probably have to wear a suit every day.” She bites her bottom lip.

“Mhm, probably.”

“Sexiest HR rep in the history of HR reps.”

He smiles as he leans in to kiss her. She pulls him on top of her, but keeps her legs closed. After a quick make out session, they decide just to cuddle and snooze for a bit. Harry wakes up to a lack of warmth. He sits up when he doesn’t feel Y/N next to him. She comes out of the bathroom and looks at him.

“What time is it?” He knuckles at his eyes.

“A little after six. What do you think we’re doing for dinner?”

“Ben said he’d make fresh pasta.” Harry yawns and stretches. “It’s his turn to cook.” He gives her a kiss on the cheek before looking for some clothes.

“What should I wear tonight? I have this cute red dress…” She pulls it out of the closet and his eyes grow wide. He puts his glasses on so he can see better.

“That’s…wow, yeah, that’ll look great on you.”

“I really like the cut out on the front. I’ll just put some shorts and a t-shirt on for now. No use in getting ready yet.”

“Right.”

Harry just throws on a pair of shorts and looks at her.

“Must be nice to just walk around shirtless all the time. Wish I could do the same.”

“Well, you could, but I wouldn’t feel terribly comfortable with all of the guys ogling you.” He smirks and she nudges him out of the room.

“Something smells good!” She says as she sees Ben over the stove. “You really made fresh pasta?”

“Yup, and meatballs. Mum’s recipe.”

Y/N was amazed at seeing so many guys just being domestic. Her freshman year of college she had made friends with a few guys on the men’s hockey team and their apartment was always gross. They never did their laundry and always ordered takeout. This was one of the things Y/N really liked about Harry. He was clean and respectful, and it was nice to see he surrounded himself with similar people.

“Oh my fucking god.” She moans as she takes a bit of the food. “That’s delicious.”

“Thanks.” Ben beams. “Hear that, mate, she likes my cooking.”

“Don’t get too cocky, she likes mine plenty, right?” Harry says to her.

“Of course, babe.”

“Babe.” Adam and Clark say together lovingly.

“Enough teasing.” Harry points his knife at them. “Get enough of it from these two at school.”

“Please, we hardly tease you.” Louis scoffs.

“You did when we first started going out, it was so annoying.” Harry rolls his eyes.

“You teased him?” Y/N looks at Louis and Niall. “Not very nice boys.” She shakes her head as she takes another bite.

“It was all in good fun.” Niall says.

After cleaning up dinner, the drinks come back out and everyone does shots of tequila. This was what Y/N had been missing. Just hanging out with people her own age without any parents around.

“Wait, so I need to ask.” Clark starts. “Why hockey?”

“I was too aggressive for soccer and lacrosse. No padding.” She takes another shot and sucks on a lime.

“Jesus.” Adam says. “Why were you so aggressive?”

“I had a lot of, um, pent up anger from my parent’s split…we had to see, um, well it was suggested to me that I try hockey. I already knew how to skate, so it wasn’t difficult for me to pick up.”

“She’s brilliant on the ice.” Harry says, putting an arm around her. “I bet you’ll be captain senior year.”

“Do you have siblings, do they play sports?” Ben asks.

“My younger sister does theater, she’s going to this school…um…AMDA in New York this fall, I’m really excited for her, she’s very talented. My little brother plays hockey too…for the same reasons. At least the boys get to hit each other.” She scoffs. “If there had been a female football league I think I would have done that, but it didn’t exist so hockey it was. Besides, I really do just love it. My mom was able to send me to hockey camp a couple times, and I got to meet some nice people that I still stay in touch with. It’s just a great sport.”

Pregaming was good, but it was getting to be time to change. Y/N takes her hair out of its bun and shakes it out. She had some nice beach waves from earlier. She touches up her makeup, and slips into her dress. It was tight, red, and had a cutout just below her breasts. It wasn’t something she wore often, but she thought a club in Italy would be a perfect occasion. She slips her white tennis shoes on, ever the practical person. Harry feels the wind get knocked out of him when she steps out of the bathroom.

He didn’t look too shabby himself. A white, silk short-sleeve shirt with the first few buttons undone, and a pair of black shorts. He looks her up and down after putting his contacts in.

“Jesus.”

“Isn’t it cute?” She spins around for him.

“Very.” He puts his hands on her hips. “Do we need to leave?”

“Harry.” She giggles. “We can get frisky when we get back.”

“Does that mean-“

“Mhm.” She winks at him.

The boys were all dressed and ready, and a few paid some compliments to Y/N. Harry keeps his arm around her as they walk to the downtown area. They’re able to get into the club with ease, and they all go up to the bar. The bartender gives Y/N’s hers on the house and she smiles.

The music was good, they all dance as a group, but Harry dances behind Y/N with his hands on her hips, which she didn’t mind one bit. His friends had seen him dance with plenty of girls, it wasn’t awkward or anything. They all drank a fuck ton as the night went on. Y/N was loving having her dance partner back. Her head was rolled back onto Harry’s chest while they grind together. He turns her around and pulls her close so he can kiss her, tongue immediately going into her mouth. She wraps her arms around his neck and tugs him as close as they could possibly be. This kiss is hot and forceful. Her fingers lace through his hair.

“Fuck.” He breathes. “Need to get you out of here.” He nearly growls. Y/N nods her head, too frazzled to speak.

Harry finds Adam and lets him know they’re leaving. They both walk quickly, hand in hand, out of the club. The walk back to the house felt like any other time they left a party to go get busy. They giggle and stop to steal kisses until they get to where they need to be. He gets her inside and lifts her over his shoulder.

“Harry!” She squeals.

“Shh, some of the boys could have brought people back.” He gives her bum a little smack as he carries her up the stairs. She laughs, but does as he says to try to stay quiet.

He gets them both on the bed, and she straddles him immediately, her hair falling into her face as she sucks on his bottom lip. He helps move it out of the way, and this his hand slide down her body to grope and squeeze at her ass. She rocks her lips against his, and at this point it just feels torturous for them both. He grabs her hips and gets her on her back.

“You’re really all good?”

“Mhm.”

He lifts the hem of her dress and bunches it up by her hips. His mouth falls open when he sees the red thong she had paired with the dress.

“You’re the devil.” He says, kissing her lips as he pets over her. “You’re good, you’re okay with this?”

“Yes, so okay with it, please.” She nearly whines.

He moves the thin material to the side, and slides two of his fingers inside her. They swallow each other’s moans. He uses his other hand to yank her breasts out of the top of her dress, something she wasn’t expecting, and then he sucks on one of her nipples while he fingers her. Her back arches when his fingers curl up against her g-spot.

“There we are.” He smirks. “Like that, baby girl?”

“Yeah, just like that, Harry.” Her head rolls back into the pillow. “Oh my god, oh my fucking god.” She moans.

“That’s it, let it all out for me.”

He was knuckle deep, and she couldn’t control any of the noises leaving her mouth. She cries out when she comes to her release. He gives her moment before pulling his fingers out. She looks up at him.

“Get your clothes off, now.” She demands.

“Yes ma’am.” He says, saluting her and getting up.

She helps him get his shirt off, attaching her lips to his stomach and sucking on his special spots. His hips buck forward. He tugs her dress off, and his pants drop to the ground at the same time. She wiggles out of her thong, and Harry rids himself of his boxers.

“Really wanna feel you, can we do that?” She pouts at him.

“Yeah.”

She pins him down and straddles him, lining herself up with him and sinking down. They both let out throaty moans at the contact.

“You’re so fucking tight.” He groans as he rocks her back and forth on him.

“Been too long without you.” She starts bouncing up and down on him slowly, and he rubs her clit. “Fuck, Harry.” She squeezes around him.

“Come as many times as you want, don’t hold back.” He says, rubbing her faster.

Her body falls on his and she cries out into his neck. He helps her move back and forth on him as she comes to. She knew she was overly sensitive from having not been touched by him in two months. He looks at her and opens his mouth. Her eyebrows raise, but then she remembers what he wants her to do. She wells up some spit and lets it drip slowly from her tongue to his. He swallows it and smiles up at her. A hand goes to the back of her head, and he yanks her face down to his so he can kiss her. Their tongue move around each other as he thrusts up into her.

“Need it from behind.” He says against her mouth.

She gets off him and gets in position for him. He gives her a gentle smack before sliding back in. His hands grip at her hips as he thrusts in and out.

“Gonna fuck you every day for the next two weeks, as many times as you want. You just say the word, and it’ll be just like this.”

“Fuck, Harry.” His words alone were going to make her lose it again.

“Don’t care where we are, if you want my cock, my mouth, my fingers, you’ve got it.”

She moans out as she comes again, and he loves the way she tightens around him, but he’s trying to hold on a little longer. He hadn’t fucked her in so long, and even though he knew they could do it again, he just wanted to enjoy the initial moment a little longer. He pulls out of her and gets her on her back, and in he goes once against. He takes her hands and pins them on either side of her head. He kisses her as he rocks in and out.

“H-Harry?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“Oh, baby, I love you too.” He kisses her.

Things had turned from rushed and frantic to loving and sweet. She rocks her hips along with his, and it feels amazing. He slows down the pace to really just take her all in.

“Love you so much.” He whispers in her ear. He picks up the pace a little, and he can feel himself getting closer.

“Please, come inside me, Harry.” She whimpers. “Wanna feel all of you.”

He bites down on her neck while he comes and she moans out at the feeling of him filling her up. He kisses her cheeks and nips at her lips before slowly pulling out. She gasps at the loss of him at first. She gets up to use the bathroom quickly, and then gets into bed with him. He tugs her to lay fully on top of him. She nuzzles into his chest, leaving kisses every few moments. He rubs her back and moves some hair away from her face so she’ll look up at him. He opens his mouth to say something, but he feels good about the comfortable silence. He opts to just kiss her forehead instead. They both sigh with happiness.

As they fell asleep in each other’s arms, neither had a care in the world. They both knew this was the only time in their lives that they could be so carefree, and they weren’t going to waste it or worry. They wanted to be with each other right now, and that was good enough for the both of them.

[beermanoftana]

chapter 1 — when lives begin to collide [2.1k]

description  —  you and peter begin vying for the attention of a children’s books publisher.

genre — from past lives lovers to present lives rivals. fluff. angst. slow-burn.

warnings — some mistakes here and there. slight cussing. totally au.

a/n — i can’t find the op anymore but they made a post about this kind of plot. i really thought it’d be interesting to write one so here’s my take. not forcing you to read it but if you do, feedback would be greatly appreciated! thank you!

masterlist

“I can never erase my past. But the present is my pen and I can write a better future. After all, I am the author of my life.”

It was written in capital letters.

‘Damn,’ you thought. ‘That hit hard.’ You read it over and over, trying to take every single word in. It was true and it really did hit you hard. You were not proud of your past, but you were trying to make amends now, and you hoped that it would lead to something better. And that is exactly why the quote felt like a sharp pang in your heart.

You were sitting down on the last step of the education building on campus. The notebook with the quote you have written lay on your lap like an open book. You had just finished your lunch and were waiting for your friend to arrive. Y/fn woke up too late for the morning sessions but you agreed to meet them when they said they were on their way.

You were chewing on your bottom lip, careful not to bite it too hard. That was a habit of yours. Whenever you were anxious, you would chew on your bottom lip, sometimes without even realizing it. But you were not anxious because your friend was going to be beside you any minute. No. It was because it would be the first time you would show your professor the children’s story you wrote. What made you even more nervous was that they were the next class you had.

Writing short stories was a passion of yours. You loved making up characters and scenarios in your head and would write them down on any scrap of paper you could find. But that was all you could do. You knew children’s books always had illustrations, unfortunately, you could not draw to save your life. You were thinking that perhaps when your story would be chosen for some award or anything, they would find you an illustrator. That was how it usually worked, right?

“Hey.” You snapped out of your thoughts, froze your teeth, and looked up. “You okay?”

“Hey,” you greeted back. You shook your head, closed the notebook, and placed it inside your bag. “I was just thinking,” you admitted. “About showing Professor Y/pn my work. You think they’ll like it?”

Y/fn sighed. “Of course, Y/n. We’ve gone over this before, haven’t we?”

You frowned. You didn’t like the way they said it. You shrugged and pretended not to care. “Right. Okay. Let’s just get to class.”

You both walked up the steps and waited for an elevator to bring you up to your floor. Once you arrived inside the classroom, you noticed that some of your classmates were not in yet but your professor was fiddling around with their laptop. You placed your book down on the table, took out your binder filled with your writings -- and you could proudly say that you filed them by title in alphabetical order -- and took a deep breath before walking up to the front of the class.

You cleared your throat and called them, “Professor Y/pn?” That came out more like a squeak rather than the tone of voice you would give when you wanted to start a casual conversation.

Your professor turned to their side and smiled at you. “Yes, Ms. Y/ln? What can I do for you?”

“Well...uh, I was wondering if you could take a look at one of my written works. I need a professional’s opinion so that I know where I can improve on and all that. I mean, if it’s not too much trouble for you.”

“Of course, of course!” they said with a grin. “No problem at all, Ms. Y/ln. I’m honestly surprised that you came to me for a new point of view.”

“No one better than my favorite professor,” you said, copying their grin. “And I’m not just saying.” You giggled.

Your professor laughed. “Well, alright then. Which one should I check out?” They beckoned you to give them your binder and you obliged. “Oh, this is a little heavy,” they chuckled as they held your binder. “You must be quite a writer. Well, you always have been one of my top students in my class.”

“Just here,” you mumbled. “Not so much the others.” You took a deep breath and exhaled. “I was hoping you could look at The Bee and the Queen. Though maybe just that for now, I don’t really have much confidence with the others yet.”

Your professor waved their hand. “Right, of course. I promise not to pry. Do you mind if you leave this with me for now? I’ll give it back after class.”

You saw this as some sort of sign of commitment. Maybe, if they liked your story, they would be willing to work with you. “Yes!” you nearly shouted. “I mean, yes, professor. I’d really love that.”

They smiled. “Alright, I’ll check out The Bee and the Queen and I’ll jot down some notes.”

“Ehrm….”

“On another piece of paper, of course,” they laughed. “Don’t worry, even without the look on your face, I wasn’t going to write it on something so precious.”

You sighed in relief. “Thank you, Professor Y/pn. Thank you so much.”

They nodded. “Off you go, class is about to begin.”

The whole two hours class seemed even longer than usual. Your knee bounced constantly and you kept looking at your watch every minute. There was a seatwork, an essay about children and why they were more inclined to language at a certain age, and at some point, you looked up and saw your professor with their reading glasses on and had your binder open. Finally, the class was dismissed and you waited a bit, hoping for them to call you.

“I’ll go ahead,” Y/fn informed you.

“Sure,” you replied without looking at them.

As your classmates left, your professor smiled and gestured for you to come to them. You pursed your lips and briskly walked to them. “Well?” you asked. “Sorry, that came out a bit rude.”

They shook their head. “Well, Ms. Y/ln. I do like the concept and your style, but we need more creativity. I’m not saying that this isn’t creative, no, not all. But remember these are children we’re talking about. They need something that will catch their attention. They need to stay focused. I’m happy that you managed to apply the moral of the story in examples at the end. But again, put some more sugar in it. You get what I mean?”

“I think so.” You nodded.

They smiled. “I’ll give you a week to come up with something new. And if I’m impressed, you can work with an acquaintance of mine.”

Your eyes widened. “Really?”

“Just show me what you got,” they said with a smile.

“Yes, Professor! I’ll think of something way beyond creative, I promise.”

“Let’s start small, Ms. Y/ln.” They chuckled. “We’ll work our way up as we go along.”

You nodded excitedly. “I won’t let you down, Professor. I promise!” You reached for your binder and bowed. “Thank you!”

They chuckled once more. “Go on now, Ms. Y/ln. You’ll be late for your next class.”

You ran to your seat, grabbed your bag, and waved at them. “Thank you!”

Days later, you were in a coffee shop. You were going to meet up with Y/bfn and you two would be brainstorming on how to make your story better. You already had a concept, you just needed to write down how you were going to execute it. Luckily, your best friend knew you all too well.

You had just gotten the tray with both yours and your best friend’s drink -- because really, you two knew each all too well, too. The place was packed and you had a hard time looking for a vacant table. When you did spot one, as soon as you reached it, another person had arrived as well.

“Oh. I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were eyeing the table, too.”

You looked to your side to see a tall, blonde boy with very nice blue eyes. He, too, was holding a tray with two drinks. “You can have it,” you said. You didn’t know why but you were feeling a little bit bitter. “It’s fine.”

“No, no, please. Take it.” He tilted his head to gesture to the table. “It’s fine. I’ll just stay by the bar. My sister wouldn’t be here for a while, anyway.”

You brightened a little. “Neither is my friend.”

He smiled. “So…?”

You blushed a little. “I...I guess we can share for now?”

He nodded. “Yeah, that’d be nice.” He waved his hand to allow you to sit first. As soon as you both placed your trays on the table and sat down, he introduced himself. “I’m Peter.” He held up his hand for you to shake.

“Y/n,” you replied and shook his head. 

“Do I know you from somewhere, madam?” he asked.

“Does that line always work for you, sir?” you giggled and rolled your eyes.

He had nice hands. A little calloused but still nice. “I...um...do you live around here?” The shop you were in was inside a subdivision and you haven’t seen anyone as beautiful as him. ‘Oh shut up.’ You were always around thanks to your best friend living around the corner and you pretty much have seen everyone.

He shook his head. “My sister has a friend who lives here. I was in the area and she said we should all hang out for coffee.”

“Oh.” You nodded. “My best friend lives around here. I’m always here. Maybe that’s why I don’t recognize you.”

He nodded. “I’m from the other side of town, actually. Well, my job brings me everywhere so I guess it depends.” He chuckled as did you. “I’m an engineer.”

“Education grad student,” you said. “I work part-time as a PA for my parents. I mean, I was willing to do it for free since they are my parents but they sort of bribed me and said they’d be paying my tuition instead, so….” You didn’t know why this was embarrassing for you to admit.

“Mind if I ask what kind of business your parents run?”

“It’s a multinational company.” ‘Stop being embarrassed, it’s the truth for goodness sake.’ “Y/cn.”

“Oh! Yeah! I know that.”

You forced a smile. “Yup.” You two became silent and you began chewing on your bottom lip but you immediately stopped. It was getting a bit awkward so you decided to get your drink and tried to open it. Unfortunately, it was sealed too tight. Peter could definitely see you struggling, he offered for him to try and held out his hand.

When you gave it to him, you came into contact with his skin.

“It worked on you, didn’t it?” he said with a goofy grin.

You laughed at his confidence. “Not really.”

“Ah! But that usually means it did but not so much.”

You scoffed. “It means no.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Well you should.”

Once he was able to open it, he gave it back to you. Your pinky touched his index finger.

“Oh stop it!” You stomped your foot and folded your arms.

“That’s not very lady-like,” he said.

“I don’t care.” You stuck up your nose. “You are impossible.”

“I would like to say that I am impossible to others. I’m always possible when it comes to you.”

“For some strange reason that makes sense.”

He chuckled. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get your dress dirty. No need to get all stubborn with me.”

You pouted. “I am not being stubborn.”

“Oh yes, you are.”

You sighed in frustration. “You are impossible, Peter Pevensie.”

“Thank you.” You took a sip and subtly watched him drink his. “I didn’t expect them to take this long.”

“Same,” he murmured. He checked his phone and excused himself.

You watched him leave and then you were left alone. You thought of the surge of electricity that you felt whenever you came into contact with one another. Did he feel it, too? Goosebumps crept up to you and you shuddered. “Stop it, Y/n.”

Peter came back and smiled. “They’re almost here.”

“Oh, that’s good.” Then you realized how that may have sounded. “Not that I didn’t enjoy your company, Peter.”

He chuckled. “Don’t worry about it.”

‘And I like your company a little too much, even if it did get a bit awkward.’

The door of the store opened and you saw your best friend enter.

“Oh, there's Y/bfn,” you said. You waved your hand for them to see you. Your best friend found your signal and walked up to you with a smile.

“Ah, and there’s my sister,” Peter announced. Behind your best friend was another girl around your age. She was very pretty. “Oh.”

You looked at him as he said that. There was a slight tone to it but you couldn’t figure out what. You looked back at your best friend. “Oh.”

[spidernerdsblog]

Love Is The Biggest Spell : Chapter One

A/N: Chapter one is here. Two opposite worlds, two opposite lives what happens when fate brings them face to face again? Hope you like this chapter . Feedbacks and suggestions are always welcome.

Pairing : Warlock Tom Holland x half mortal reader

Summary : Witches are forbidden to fall in love with mortals. But what if your long lost love returns to you as a mortal, can you defy your heart? Any spell any magic seems useless in front of the magic of love. Let's join our lovers in their magical conquest beyond life and death as they fight for their love unravelling dark mysteries of the past along their way.

Warnings : language, adult humor.

"Good morning!" You greeted everyone cheerfully at the breakfast table as you pulled out a chair to sit for breakfast. 

"Good Morning to you too Madeleine!'' you cooed to your pet cat who was hovering near your feet. You picked her up and placed her on your lap whilst brushing her soft black furry coat. 

"Honey how are you feeling?" your mom asked. 

"I'm good. Why do you ask?" You bite into your toast.

"Y/N how many times I have told you that whenever you have those nightmares you need to inform me?"

"Really?!" You glanced at your cousin bewildered. 

"I had to." Erica shrugged. 

"And thank you Erica for letting us know."

"Mom it's just a stupid nightmare!"

"Yeah which is not letting me sleep." 

"I didn’t ask you to sleep with me." 

"Y/N don’t talk to your sister like that. She is worried about you just like us moreover she is five months pregnant she needs rest too." 

“Sorry” you mumbled. 

"We are going to the church today to get Father Boris's blessing." 

"Mom not again! Moreover I have to help aunt Rose at the coffee shop since Erica is taking a leave for the next four months.'' you whined. 

"I think your aunt can handle it on her own for today."

"Yeah Y/N listen to your mother, Jane and I can manage it for one day." your aunt reassured you. 

"Why do you and your aunt want to keep that coffee shop in the first place I don't understand. We literally own the Runeshire Daily and after you finish your degree course on journalism  you are going to take my place as the chief editor." You father remarked. 

"Dad, that is our family coffee shop which has been there for ages. And I love working there utilizing my free time. And after uncle Dan that is all aunt Rose has."

After breakfast as it was decided in the morning you were on your way to the church accompanied by your mother. The church was mostly empty as you both approached Father Boris. 

"Good morning Father" you both greeted. 

"Good morning. How are you Y/N?" He asked. 

"I'm good Father." You gave a tight lipped smile. 

"So again that horrible dream I suppose." 

You looked down and nodded in reply. 

"Father, why is this still happening to her?" 

"Mrs Warren God works in his own mysterious ways, maybe he is trying to send a message and we are mere humans. How can we decipher what he has in his mind? Just have faith in him and everything will be fine." 

He then turned to you. You lowered your head as he sprinkled some holy water on you and began reciting. 

"O God, who for the salvation of mankind hast appointed water to be the foundation of the greatest mysteries, graciously hear our prayers and fill this element of water, which has in manifold ways been purified, with Thy power and blessing; so that this creature of Thine may be used in Thy mysteries and endowed with Thy divine grace to drive away devils and to cast out diseases; that whatever in the houses or possessions of Thy faithful shall be sprinkled by this water, may be freed from everything unclean or hurtful. Let no spirit of pestilence or baleful breath dwell therein. Let all the snares of the enemy who lieth in wait for us, be driven forth, and let everything that threatens the safety or peace of the dwellers therein be banished by the sprinkling of this water, so that the health which they seek by calling upon Thy holy Name may be guarded from all assaults."

After the rites were completed you and your mother lit some candles near the altar and prayed for a while. You turned to leave but stopped in your tracks when you noticed your mother not coming along. 

"You aren't coming?" 

"No I want to spend some more time here you go or else you will be late for your class." 

"Okay then bye. See you in the evening" after you left the church your mother went up to Father Boris. 

"Umm Father I wanted to talk to you about something else too." 

"Please do not hesitate Mrs Warren" he reassured. 

"I think it's time to give her this. So can you bless this too?" your mother held out a ring in her hand it was a metallic ring with intricate celtic patterns etched out on its surface. 

"I understand what you are going through Mrs Warren. I have been seeing Y/N since her childhood and she is definitely a miracle child. But as her mother you have to stay strong, she will be needing her family's support to battle whatever is coming her way after she turns 25." He took the ring from her hand.

“I’ll have this purified and blessed. Don’t worry everybody here is God’s children he will surely look after her.”

You practically ran through your campus to reach your class. As you reached the hallway you stopped for a moment to catch your breath when across the hall you caught sight of the most hot and happening man in your life Cole Sprouse. You have known each other since childhood going to the same highschool and now the same university. In no time your  relationship transitioned from best friends to lovers. You were the 'it' couple of your class. Strangely you both never actually said those three magical words to each other but everytime you look at that raven haired blue eyed boy your heart skipped a beat. Cole was chatting with some other guys and his face lit up when he noticed you. He waved at you as you jogged your way towards him and threw your arms around to hug him. 

"Hey!" 

"Hi babe." He pecked your lips. 

"Hey you are late today!" Tony tapped your shoulder.

"Yeah sorry"

"C'mon hurry up or we will get late for the class. Let's go!" Jane came running across the hall.

After the class ended you were hanging out with your friends in the library. You were snuggled close to Cole as his hands lazily wrapped around your shoulder.

"So why didn't you come to the cafe today? It was quite a rush today." Jane asked. 

"Don't ask.. Mom took me to the church to get blessed." you scoffed.

"Mrs Warren finally came to know about the carnal sins you two commit in your bedroom." 

"Oh shut up!! It's nothing like that." You scorned. 

"Then what is it?" 

"Nothing it's just I get this stupid recurring nightmare once in a month where a group of men are chasing after me." 

"Oooooh interesting, are you sure it's a nightmare not one of kinky sexual fantasies?" everyone laughed. 

"Fuck off!! I'm not telling you anything." you grimaced.

"I'm joking.. I’m joking, come on now tell us." 

"So these men are trying to kill me because I'm a witch. Then someone shot me at the back and there's blood everywhere. And I don't have any fucking clue to why I get this horrible dream." 

"So do you know these men?" 

"No, their faces were all blurry. But according to Father Boris and my mom believes it too that I'm having visions of my past life and that’s insane! right?" 

"So you mean to say you were a witch in your past life that's awesome! Do you have a witch mark?" Jane joked

"Seriously? You deadpanned 

"it's the 21st century, not the mediaeval era. All this witch, magic and past life are utter bullshit!"

"See men were and always will be a dick." you added.

"Ouch!" Cole pretended to be hurt. 

"Sorry honey but that's sadly true." you pouted

"But you can't live without this dick can you?" you elbowed him hard giving him a playful glare.  

"Oww!" he winced as you continued 

"So as I was saying, men have always enjoyed superiority in the society and the time these witch trials began coincided with the time when women were finally finding their voice and demanded equal rights. 

And it's clear as the daylight in those times a strong opinionated woman was always looked down upon as a threat to the society so what's better than tagging them as witches and slaughtering them to shut them up.'' you ranted. 

"But there are reports of male witches being killed too." Tony pointed out.

"That's just to deceive people because the majority were women who have been killed." 

"You are just getting emotional with this." Cole said. 

"Your grandfather was a witch hunter right?" 

"Yeah sure he was." Cole admitted rather proudly.

"And you are proud of that?" 

"No not proud but kind of awesome too. 

" He killed innocent women, how's that awesome?!" you both started arguing. 

"How can you tell they were innocent? What I have heard is that they used to practise black magic to harm people." 

"Those are just lame superstitions." 

"You are forgetting that your grandfather was a part of that witch hunting group too." 

"And I'm so ashamed of him. I wish he rots in hell." 

"Okay that's enough of the discussion on witches and hunters. Can we focus on tomorrow's field trip to the mystical woods?!" Jane scowled. 

"Oh yeah thanks for reminding me about that." 

"Uggh! I hate historical field trips!" Cole groaned.

"It's part of our assignment on the research we are doing on the town's history." 

"I regret taking history as my elective man!" 

"Professor Brown will be so disappointed to hear this from his favourite student." Tony jokes. Cole rolled his eyes. 

"I really like the mystical woods though." You said absentmindedly. 

"What's so special about that place?" 

"I don't know. I just feel a sort of connection with that place. That place just calms my mind."

………………….. 

"Give this to her a month before she turns 25."

These particular words echoed in Martha's mind as she fiddled with the ring in her hand. 

"Honey, do you know where my glasses are?" Your father asked your mother as he searched for his glasses. But she was engrossed in deep thought. 

"Honey, is everything okay?" your mother was broken from her thoughts. 

"Hmm yeah-yeah." 

"What is that in your hand?" 

"It's this" she showed him the ring. 

"I think it's time to give her this as I was told to do so and maybe tell her the truth." 

"Not again, we are not telling her anything." 

"What if something bad happens to her Fred?" 

"Martha you're just being paranoid." 

"Oh am I Fred?! Because deep within your heart you also know that whatever is happening with her isn't just some petty nightmares." your mother snapped. 

"They are petty nightmares!" 

"Then why only on every full moon night does she have those dreams? And you know very well what happened on such a night 25 years ago in that forest." 

"You are just worrying too much and she will be completely fine." 

"I'm her mother Fred! And a mother has to worry when her daughter doesn't have any sensation to anything hot." 

"She suffers from peripheral neuropathy and the doctor himself confirmed that to us."

"Oh for God's sake! Do you believe that? How much you try to ignore the fact but Y/N isn't a normal girl, maybe she isn't a complete human!" she muttered. 

"What do you mean to say that Y/N, our daughter is…is a… Fred lowered his voice

witch?" He whispered. 

"Honey why are you trying to unsee the uncanny resemblance Y/N shares with her. Those eyes, that exact same face… " your mother broke down as tears filled her eyes. Fred hugged her planting a kiss on her forehead and spoke calmly. 

"Honey I know you are scared but nothing has happened all these years and I'm sure nothing bad will happen in the future just relax and let her also live her life peacefully." 

"I'm home!" You chirped as you entered your house. Your parents quickly composed themselves, your mother wiped her tears.

"Oh you're finally back! I need to talk to you about something." your mother exclaimed.

"Me too! But me first" you said excitedly.

"Tomorrow as you know we are going to the mystical woods so can you please wake me up early in the morning."

"Mystical woods what for?!" 

"Field trip I told you earlier."

"Oh! it must have slipped my mind." 

"So what did you have to say to me?" 

"Not say actually I wanted to give you something."

"Here." Your mother held the ring in front of you. 

"What's this?"

"This will protect you from every danger I had it blessed by Father Boris. Whatever happens, never take this off." 

"Mooom! Wasn't the blessing enough? You know very well that I don't believe in this nonsense stuff." 

"Y/N this is the last time I'm asking something from you. Please honey can't you wear this for your mother's sake? So that she can be sure that you are safe wherever you are." 

"Okay.. if this makes you stop worrying about me then I'm going to wear it." You slid the ring in your middle finger. 

"See! now happy? How can I ever say no to my lovely mom anyways?" you hugged her tightly. 

……………………….. 

“I’ll come back Tom. I promise no force of nature can keep us apart.”

"Brother you need to stop now and move on. She is not going to come back." Harry advised Tom. Tom was broken out from his thoughts who was staring at a framed photograph in his hand. 

"No she has to, she promised me that she will come back." he said lowly.

"Brother it's been 25 years you have to understand she is gone forever, she is dead." Tom clenched his jaws. 

"Moreover it was kind of her fault if she would have listened in the first place she needn't had to die such a gruesome death." Tom swiftly raised his hand, rage in his eyes and Harry was lifted in mid air by an invisible hand choking him around his neck. 

"Choose your words wisely Harry!" Tom growled. 

"Tom, even if you kill me, reality will never change those pesky humans killed her!" Harry choked. Tom let him down as Harry gasped for air. 

"Why have you even come here, leave me alone!" 

"I just came to inform you that father was looking for you." 

"Why?"

"Don't know may be about you taking the place of the next High Priest of our coven."

"We are deeply honored to establish a relationship with your family Father Holland." 

"It's my pleasure Lady Layman to make your eldest daughter a part of our family." 

"Father, you were looking for me?" Tom interrupted their conversation.

"Yes Thomas come sit."

"Thomas as one of the finest students of the academy and the most eligible Warlock you know you are most likely going to be the next high priest of our coven after me. So your mother and I want you to get married to Lady Layman’s eldest daughter Zendaya."

"Father, what has me being the High Priest has to do with my marriage? And Z is a friend of mine. I can’t marry her." 

"The coven needs a high priestess Thomas."

"Then you should start considering other warlocks like Harrison, I think he will be perfect. I don't think I can share my life with someone else in my life ever again." 

……………………………. 

It was an early autumn morning and a frosty chill hung in the air. The sweet surrendering scent of the morning dew filled the forest with a scent that did not belong on earth. Autumn leaves from the tall trees lay scattered on the forest floor; each of them turning brittle brown; there was a sound like dried cereal being crunched underfoot, pushing their papery remains deep into the soft soil. The dark shadows of the voluminous trees and the surrounding bushes had become the backbone of the forest, standing as passive protectors of a peaceful place. 

"This place spooks the hell out of me." Tony commented. 

"Students, the tree you are looking at is where the witches were hanged to death during the witch trials back then." Professor Brown pointed towards a huge oak tree probably a few hundred years old with a huge canopy. 

"We are going to spend an hour or two here so you all can explore and take pictures for your report. Stay close and don't go too deep inside the forest." Everyone scattered in different directions. 

You were walking behind your group, your eyes went to an abandoned path trailing deep inside the forest. A strange attraction was born inside you. You felt as if the path was luring you towards it. 

"Hey guys look at that road I think we should go there." 

"And get lost or most probably killed by a wild animal." Jane snickered.

"Don't be a pussy nothing will happen, maybe we can get to know something more. C’mon guys it will be fun! You pouted with puppy eyes. 

"Okay let's go." Everyone agreed. 

You all took the abandoned road slowly walking deeper inside the forest. The forest was ancient. The trees are thick and old, roots that were twisted. It's canopy was so dense that you could only see the occasional streak of sunlight that rarely touched the forest floor.

"Well, well, well look what we have here a flock of sheep coming this way." Laura gave an evil smirk as she pointed others towards your group from a distance behind the trees. 

"Guys call me whatever but I don't feel right here. This place is giving an eerie feeling let's go back." Tony cautioned, you all stopped for a moment to decide whether to go on further or not suddenly you heard a faint humming sound. A sweet feminine voice luring you towards itself. You didn't care to look back if others were following you as you walked forward following the direction of the voice. 

"Guys can you hear this faint music coming from the distance?" You turned around to find no one. The place appeared familiar to you as it suddenly hit you that you have seen this place in your dreams. You decided to continue moving forward. The forest was so still you could only hear the tread of your feet and the cracking of twigs and leaves underfoot. A smell of timidness hovers in the air... no clue of what is ahead! You clutch your fists tightly, as you keep moving forward. The bushes and trees of low growth had disappeared, to make room for gigantic mahogany trees, century old cork trees, and the acajou, whose sombre branches formed a vaulted roof of green eighty feet above your head. The path had grown wider, and stretched, in a gentle incline, towards a hillock of moderate height, entirely free from trees. There in the middle of the clearing you saw a platform more like an altar just like we get to see in churches made of big rocks. A big flat piece of rock mounted on two other rocks which were mostly acting like pillars. You went near it to examine it carefully gently brushing your hand over the smooth surface whilst circling around it. It was quite old as moses covered the surface, ferns growing at the bottom of the rock pillars. You heard the rustling of leaves in the nearby bushes. 

"Guys?? Are you there?" You looked around. 

"It's not funny c'mon." 

"Jane?!" You heard the cracking of leaves. 

"Cole is that you?!"

"Scream as much as you want human no one is going to hear your cries." Laura gave out a sinister laugh and began chanting a spell. 

You decided to go back and find your friends. You went to retrace the path you took to go back but suddenly out of nowhere a dense mist started to engulf the forest blocking everything from your sight. You were practically stuck in the middle of the forest lost with no way to go back. You took out your phone to open the GPS but to your dismay there was no network in that area. 

"Fucking piece of shit!!" You cursed at your phone. 

"Let's teach her a lesson shall we?" Remy suggested with a wicked smile. 

"Guys I think we should stop here, that is enough for today. We should not harm innocent people." Jacob advised. 

"No human is innocent, Jacob. Murdering is in their blood." Remy jibed. 

He focused on the branch of the tree you were standing underneath. You were fidgeting with your phone when it slipped off your hands. 

"Shitt!!"you moved forward and bent down to pick up your phone. 

And just then the branch broke with a loud crack missing you by a hair. You jumped aside looking up the tree gasping in shock. 

"What the hell! Really shouldn't have come here" you repented. 

"Good incantation you dimwit" Angourie mocked. 

"This wasn't to happen. How could it miss her?" he frowned. 

"Because you didn't focus properly!" 

"What are you all doing?" Tom suddenly appeared from nowhere. 

"Nothing Tom." Jacob said. 

"How many times do you need to be told that you should not use your powers to harass or create problems for others be it witches or humans?" 

"We were just having a little fun, that's it." Remy reasoned. 

"Throwing a branch of a tree on someone is fun to you?!" Tom snapped at him. 

"These humans deserve this for what they have done to our kind!"

"You are not the one to decide who deserves what and that girl definitely didn't do anything wrong!" 

"Yes Tom is right we can't judge someone for the wrongdoing of their ancestors." Zendaya also appeared at the scene. 

 "But she's trespassing our sacred place!"

"Enough! I don't want to hear anything, go back to the academy right now! I'll deal with you guys later" saying that Tom took off to your direction mumbling a spell to clear off the mist. 

"When did you become such an empathetic witch, sister?" Angourie smirked. 

"I don't have any choice, mother's instructions to try to get inside his heart and convince him for the marriage. Or else if it was me I would have levitated that girl in the air." Zendaya shrugged giving an evil grin. 

Tom slowly walked towards you as you desperately tried to contact your friends. 

"Are you lost love?" He said from behind. You jumped back in fright tripping on a rock and twisting your leg. You lost balance but before you could fall you felt two firm hands catching hold of your shoulders as you felt your back pressed against a broad chest. Your eyes were closed shut as you  clutched onto your phone tightly, your breathing erratic.

"It's okay love I got you." You heard the person reassure you in his thick British accent. He steadied you on your feet letting go of your shoulders. 

You slowly turned around to have a look at the person who saved you from falling down, and as soon as your face became visible to Tom his eyes went wide as a chill ran down his spine. He froze then there as he blurted out. 

"Amber?!!"

.....................................................................

@sleepybesson​​ @sophs-library​​ @spideyparkerstark​​ @itstaskeen​​ @milli86​​ @biebsmylife95​​ @quaksonhehe​​ @hannahholland1811​ ​​ @awhollandx​​ @joyleenl​​  @greatpizzascissorstaco​​ @tomhollandsotherpinkytoe​​ @jjandreidsgirl​​ @brighterthanthesunx​​ @adevilallthetime​​ @panicattheeverywherekid​​ @onewithnomightypowers​​ @itsnotmeh24  @bitchinwpei @astridcommings​ @hollandprkr​​  @hollandsobrien​​ @timotayswriter​​ @kiki-hines​​ @casualprincess77​​ @spideyth​​ @perspectiveparker​​ @thevelvetseries​​ @tempo-rary-fix @onebigolemess  @itsbqueenthings @chingonaconcha @yoongi-holland @l0lmk @itsemohours 

Taglist:To be added send me an ask or message I’ll be happy to add you in the following chapters.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

summertime sadness .4.

tgif

Sequel to kiss me in the d-a-r-k

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 (masterlist under construction)

Warnings: dub con sex (oral)

This is dark!(dad)Steve and dark(professor!)Bucky explicit. 18+ only. I know they aren’t super dark, but like questionable so I’m keeping those tags just to be safe.

Summary: You settle into your new job but can’t get too comfortable.

Note: Okey, dokey. Here’s the fun part (for me at least). Still tryna figure out how exactly this one will pan out by part 6 but we’re all having a ride together, eh. Thanks everyone for their support and I love you all! 💋

<3 Let me know what you think in a reblog, reply, or like. I’m loving the feedback from y'all and the enthusiasm! Also as always, memes accepted.

💋💋💋

It had only been a few weeks since your last visit to the university but it felt longer as you walked onto campus. Just as planned, you were due to meet Bucky in his office. He texted you as you rode the subway. He was eager to start his ‘marking’. You smirked and wondered how long he’d last at that.

You entered the English Building, the elevator back in service and empty. Not many instructors were in their offices on a Saturday and most students were hungover or readying for another party. You knocked on Bucky’s door before you entered. He had a stack of essays on his desk as he sat behind them listlessly.

“Finally,” He said.

“I slept in.” You replied. “For the first time in a week.”

“Then you’ll have lots of energy,” He reached below his desk, the sound of his zipper discernible beneath it. “I’ve got about forty papers here.”

“Forty? And how many do you think you’ll get to?”

“Knowing that mouth, maybe one.” He snickered. “Come on, baby, I’m rock hard over here.”

He rolled his chair back as you neared and set your purse down behind his desk. He slapped your ass and you got to your knees. You grinned up at him as you ducked under his desk and gripped his thighs as he pushed closer. You pulled down his briefs and his cock sprung out. He groaned and grabbed his pen.

“Fuck,” He swore under his breath. “I can’t believe you’re actually doing this, baby.”

“You’ve got marking to do,” You reprimanded and stroked him. “Now get to work.”

You stretched your lips over his tip and he groaned. He slid closer and you could hear the clumsy scratching of his pen on paper. As he reached the back of your throat, his leg twitched. You pushed past your gag reflex and he nearly choked. You pulled back and felt the shiver in him.

“Mmm,” He hummed and flipped a page. “Just like that.”

The sloppy sounds of your mouth added to the flutter above, the scribbles of ink. You bobbed your head steadily, every now and then forcing him to your limit and holding him there. And then you stopped as a knock came at the door. You both froze.

“Shit,” He pushed himself against the desk entirely and trapped you underneath it. The front shielded you from view on the other side. “Keep going.”

“Buck---”

“Slowly, quietly.” He grabbed his dick and slapped it against your lips. “Now.” He cleared his throat and shoved your head down as he glided into your mouth again. “Come in.” He called and the door opened.

Your eyes widened as he pulled his hand away. You carefully dragged your tongue along his length.

“Hey,” He greeted in a smooth tone. “Tanya.”

“Sorry to disturb,” His visitor replied. “I was just grabbing some stuff from my office and I just remembered I still had this.”

A thump sounded on the top of the desk as you slobbered down his cock.

“Thanks,” He said and squeezed his legs around you. “I almost forgot myself if I’m being honest.”

“I owe you one,” She said. You recognized her voice. She taught the other section of journalism, though you had her for a social movements class in your first year. “Maybe a drink. I could hang around til you finish with those.”

“Ah, you know, I wish I could,” He lamented. “But I promised a buddy I’d swing around to watch the game.”

You kept from gagging and held your breath, afraid to give yourself away.

“You don’t seem like the sports type,” She countered.

“Not really but a few beers and I am,” He dismissed her easily.

“You sure you’re not avoiding me?” Her toe tapped impatiently just on the other side of the desk.

“Avoiding you?” He chuckled. A slight quaver in his voice as you swirled your tongue around his tip. “Why would I be doing that?”

“Well… Ever since our little… you know…” She hesitated to say it aloud.

“I thought we agreed that it was just a little fun.” He said and you stopped suddenly. He nudged you with his toe and you wrapped your lips around him once more. “A drunken bit of fun.”

“Hmmm…” She sounded disappointed. “You free tomorrow?”

“Sorry, maybe next weekend,” He said. “But I really gotta finish here.”

“Okay, okay,” She accepted with a trill. “We’ll sort out a time then.”

“Sure,” He confirmed unconvincingly. “Next weekend. See ya.”

“Bye,” Her voice was cheerier as her heels clicked back across the floor and the door opened and closed once more.

You tried to pull away but he caught your head and held you down as he emptied himself down your throat. You choked and smacked at his thigh as he cupped his sac with his other hand. He left your mouth salty and sore as he slipped out and rolled back with a sigh.

You spit his cum into your hand and crawled out from under the desk. “What the fuck?”

“Sorry, I had to-- fuck, I almost came with her right there.” He grabbed a tissue and handed it to you.

“You could’ve warned me,” You wiped your hand off with a grimace. “What was that anyway? Did you fuck her?”

“Why? You jealous?” He cleaned himself up and zipped up his pants.

“No,” You rolled your eyes. “But I did just suck you off within two feet of her as she obviously wanted to do the same.”

He laughed and pushed his shoulders back. “It was months ago. Before… us. There was a conference, there was wine, and I regret it.” He sighed. “And she looks back on it fondly but… lots of teeth and she was stiff as a fucking board.”

“Wow,” You said dryly and wiped your mouth. “You know, I’m barely surprised.”

“This… thing between you and I, it’s not--”

“It’s just a bit of fun. Trust me, I get it. I haven’t got time for anything but.” You tossed the kleenex in the small bin beside his desk. “Right? That’s what it is?”

“So much fun,” He assured you. “You wanna hang around till I’m finished?”

“Thought you already were,” You jibed. His brow furrowed and you grinned. “Sure,” You pulled up a chair. “I got nothing better to do.”

“Well, don’t sound so excited,” He said. “Besides, I might need some more help sooner than later.”

💋

You scribbled along the margin of your agenda and dropped the pen. The keys clacked beneath your fingers as you typed up a manic sentence. Your screen glowed back at you as the seconds ticked by with each letter. So enthralled by your task that the speck in your peripheral gave you a start.

You leaned back and turned your chair to face the man watching you. Loki’s lithe fingers swept up your golden pen and he admired the engraved letters beneath the fluorescent light. You watched him nervously as you pushed yourself away from your keyboard.

“Mr. Laufeyson.” You greeted him meekly. “I am just finishing the blurb you wanted.”

“Hard at work, as always,” He mused as he carefully set the pen back on your desk. “A beautiful pen…”

“A gift,” You smiled awkwardly.

“Well, I hate to interrupt you so I will let you finished,” His fingers brushed along your desk and he leaned on it as he casually cross his right leg in front of the other. “But when you have, I would like a moment in my office before you leave for the day.”

“Of course,” You affirmed. “It shouldn’t be more than twenty minutes.”

“As you will,” He stood straight and smoothed his jacket and buttoned it. “Then you are free to enjoy your weekend.”

“Okay,” You nodded and he turned away. 

You watched him go, his strides long but lingering as he retreated to his office. The usual crowd had thinned out and Stacey was readying for her own departure. You spun back to your computer and resumed your work. Your second week down and not a stumble yet. You dared to be proud of yourself. Even, to be happy.

Another weekend ahead of you and you weren’t entirely excited. You liked being in the office; liked working with the other journalists, writers, and editors. Enjoyed your chance to shadow one of the most powerful men in New York publishing. And he had achieved it all at such a young age. You could only hope to achieve as much in the next fifteen years. 

It was more than a bullet point for your resume, it was your own paradise.

So you finished up your blurb and attached it to an email. You logged out and packed up your agenda and pen beside your laptop. You pushed your chair in as you hooked your bag over your shoulder and trod tentatively to Loki’s office. You knocked on the open door and he looked away from his screen.

“Ah, there you are,” He beckoned you in with a wave. “Close the door behind you, please.”

You glanced back into the main office and did as he said. You stepped inside and sat across from him, your bag set down against the leg of the chair. His green eyes focused on you and he tilted his head as he absently traced his fingers over his phone. You fidgeted as you struggled not to shy away.

“I just wanted to check in,” He said. “And I was recently reviewing your references.”

“My references?” You wondered.

“Mmm,” He hummed. “Your professors speak highly of you. One of the reasons I even considered a second year, let alone one who had so suddenly changed majors, was a certain word on your behalf.”

“Okay?” You were confused and gripped the arms of the chair as you blinked at him dumbly.

“James Barnes has earned his tenure at the university and on occasion, he has written pieces for my own magazine. A respectable writer, admirable in his work both in teaching and otherwise. And when he proposed this workshop, the tours, I thought it was a charming idea. He proved me right so I had no doubt when he spoke to me of you.”

You gulped but said nothing. Your stomach churned and you brought your hands together and wrung them.

“You see,” He lifted his phone and blindly unlocked it. “You have lived up to his reference and your work is commendable…” He smirked as he flicked a finger across the screen. “But I still questions the veracity of his endorsement as I find his integrity has come into doubt.”

He set his phone down and slid it across the desk. He nodded for you to pick it up. You slid forward on your chair and took it. Your lips parted in horror as you stared at the screen. It was you and Bucky in the bookshop, your lips locked and his arms wrapped around you. You looked up, mortified, as the phone shook in your grasp.

“I…” The breath went out of you and you put the phone back on the desk before it could fall. “How did you--”

“It’s a quaint little shop.” He purred. “I venture in every now and then.”

You chewed your lip as your cheeks burned.

“You do realize that this could be… damaging. To you more than him.” He stood slowly and came around the desk to stand before you. “He has tenure, he is established. You, my dear, you’re barely getting started.”

You gaped up at him. The pet name unsettled you and you wiped your sweaty hands on your thighs.

“And aside from the ethical dilemma, I do wonder what a girl your age sees in a man his age. Especially when your work speak so boldly on its own.”

You shook your head, speechless.

“Surely there are boys your own age who would be delighted to offer you… companionship.”

“I never… I would never use him like that.” You insisted. “It’s all… my work. My own work.”

“Oh, I know it, dear,” He said as his lips curled. “But to risk that work on him? On an affair better fit to a dime store erotica?”

“Are you-- Are you going to report him? Me?” You asked. “Am I fired?”

“Well,” He leaned on the desk, his long fingers gripped it’s edge as he leered down at you. “That depends on you, my dear.”

“Me?” You squeaked.

“Oh yes, this is a very powerful secret, don’t you think?” He slithered. “And in our business, well, it would sell.”

“What do you want?” You asked.

He pushed himself away from the desk and reached to tickle your cheek. His fingers crawled along your chin and he brushed his thumb over your bottom lip.

“I haven’t yet made up my mind,” He bent so that his face was only inches from yours. “But when I do, my dear, you will appease me, won’t you?”

You shuddered but didn’t pull away. You were too frightened. A lock of his dark hair fell forward as his pale skin shone sinister in the lamp light. His green eyes bore into yours and you wanted desperately too look away.

“Y-yes,” You stammered weakly. “I--I will.”

“Very good,” He drew away slowly. “Now, darling, go enjoy your weekend.” He scooped up his phone and tucked it in his pocket. “And give the professor my regards.”

[ilooklikeaburntchickenugget]

Hi! I saw that you were taking requests and I really, really like your writing so I was thinking if you could write a professor!Gee x reader plz?🥺

A/N: Of course darling! I’ve actually never done a professor AU for any of my fics so this a new one. But here goes nothing. Word count: 1885

Title: Poets and Professors

(P.S. I know this is such a cliche Gee photo for any of these professor AUs but it just works so well, so I’ll use it too.)

The only word to properly classify your and Gerard’s relationship was scandalous. There was no other that could live up to that single phrase.

The altercation that started it all was struggling in your college creative writing class. And of course, your professor was Gerard. Or Professor Way. But nonetheless, he was Gerard to you.

You approached him regarding the struggle on your final assignment, which you had started five weeks before the due date. He had helped you greatly, giving up quite a bit of his time to meet with you and give feedback. You couldn’t express how thankful you were. And what made this all better? Your professor was hot. And that obviously makes spending hours a week with him even more manageable. You were pretty good at hiding feelings, and you were alright with him. But of course, you kept those feelings to yourself. There was no way, you thought, for him to ever feel the same about you. Until he had you on his desk in a heated make-out session. Then everything changed.

He promised to take you out on a date, once his class ended. That way summer would have started, and there wouldn’t have been anything wrong with it. At least according to the rules.

“Hey, Babe.” You walked in from another day of class, placing your backpack on the stool in Gerard’s kitchen, and slipping your shoes off. You heard no response, so you knew he was in the study. Walking down the oak wood halls of the modern apartment, you slowly opened the door to see your lover hunched over his desk, glasses on, and busy with work. “Hey, Gee.” You said lightly walking in.

“Hi, honey.” He responded, his eyes not looking up from his work.

“How was your day?” You asked walking towards him.

“Alright.” He said, “Yours?” “Alright.” You lightly smiled. You walked behind his desk to where he was sitting, giving him a hug from behind his chair and crossing your arms comfortably on his torso, placing your head on his shoulder. “What are you working on?” “Grading more papers.” He lightly sighed.

“I’m sorry.” You pouted, “That really sucks.” He hummed and nodded, “What do you want for dinner?” “What about takeout?” He asked.

“Sounds like a plan.” You gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before walking out and grabbing some of the menus. You weren’t sure which place Gerard wanted, so while you waited for him to reach a stopping point, you got out some of your homework and began.

You weren’t sure how much time you had spent before you felt Gerard hug you from behind like you had done before, and gave light kisses along your neck. “Gee.” You sighed, placing your hand in his hair and fluffing it a bit.

“What is it, sugar?” He asked and you lightly laughed.

“What do you want for dinner?”

“Whatever you want,” He replied, “But Italian is my preference.” “Then Italian it is.” You smiled.

You remember your and Gee’s first date was at a small hole in the wall Italian restaurant. Well, it was supposed to be. You two had planned the date and were both incredibly excited about it all. That was until there was a huge power outage.

Right after Gerard picked you up and you began your walk, you noticed all the streets which were usually flooded with light even in the darkness were now just dark. There was frantic energy around you, and people began talking loudly.

“What’s going on?” You looked at him.

“I have no clue.” He responded, looking around just as confused as you. “Maybe we should-” “Head back to my place?” You finished and he nodded.

But if you really wanted to go to the core of your relationship, it began when his class first started. Having a hot professor was enough to distract you almost entirely from his lectures. The way he would look at you occasionally would make your heart stop beating, and would cause you to drift off into wonderland.

“Miss Y/L/N.” He greeted you, sending you an email to meet him after class one day.

“Professor Way.” You responded right back.

“Please, take a seat.” He motioned to the small leather chair on the other side of his large mahogany desk. “Do you have any idea why I wanted to meet with you today?” “No, sir.” You responded, noticing his shoulders lightly tense at the last word.

“Well, I’m noticing your grade is lower in my class then it has been at any other class you’ve taken here.” He commented, “And it’s quite a drastic change. You seemed to have only had one B+ in chemistry, but other than that straight A’s. However, you seem to be getting a low B in my class. Any reason why?”

“Um,” You stuttered. Of course, you knew why. But you couldn’t just blame the gorgeous man in front of you. “I’m not sure, just distracted I suppose.” “Distracted?” He raised an eyebrow, “By what?”

“I’m not sure, I could possibly be tired as well.” “May I present to you my theory, Y/N?” He asked, and you nodded. “I think you’re distracted by me.” “W-what?” You didn’t know how he knew. “No of course not.” “I see the way you look at me, darling.” He lightly laughed, “Like a horny 15-year-old girl.” “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You fought back.

“Oh of course you do.” He smirked, “Don’t play dumb with me. You’re quite an intelligent young lady, you have a lot of potential.” He continued on, “You’re too smart for most boys your age, I know that.” You gulped. “So why don’t you explain to me those thoughts while we’re here.” You were beyond embarrassed, but a part of you was on fire with rage as well. At him and yourself.

“To be quite frank with you, Professor,” You began, harshly. “I don’t understand why this meeting was necessary. You have hundreds of students, lots of which I’m sure are doing far worse than me. I have other classes to study for, not play your games.” He gave you a shocked look before he began chuckling.

“Oh, Sweetie.” He sighed, “You like to think you’re feisty, don’t you? Playing hard to get, huh?” He crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back in his chair, “I’m simply asking you what sort of thoughts you’ve had about me. I can always see the look in your eyes.” He looked right at you,

“Miss Y/L/N, I’m not sure if you know much about me, as a person, but I am divorced. I have had plenty of sexual encounters and intercourse in my lifetime, and I can see the bliss and lust in your eyes. I can see it right now.” He gave you a demanding look, “So why don’t you tell me, off the record, those filthy little thoughts about me?” He had put you under a trance and you let it go. All the kinky, and far from holy thoughts that had flooded your mind whenever you saw him or thought about him. Within minutes of finishing up your confession, he had you against a wall, then on his desk. Turns out the feeling was reciprocal. You two had managed to keep your relationship completely secret until the end of the semester when you could actually date.

Now, as Gee went out to pick up your food, you went into his office to look for a book. He had many classics neatly organized on multiple large floor to ceiling shelves. That was when you stumbled upon his open leather journal. He wrote in it frequently but had never shown you anything. But you understood as a writer yourself, it was very hard to show off some of your work. Especially when it was raw.

But there the pages sat, illustrated with his neat handwriting, and oh so tempting. You walked over and hesitantly looked at it. But within sentences of the poem you were hooked. You sat down in his chair looking at the 20 line poem. And you knew it was about you.

He mentioned details about your figure. How your hips were wider than any other part of you, how your hair fell perfectly onto your back. How you would always scrunch your nose when complimented.

He detailed your personality. How you spoke quite elegantly, stuttering some when you were anxious. How you got so excited when talking about books. And about the little quirk you had of frequently cracking your knuckles, especially when studying. But all of these put into beautiful lines of metaphors.

You were extremely flattered by it all. How such a gorgeous piece of art could be about someone like you. “Y/N, I’m home!” You heard him in the living room, prompting you to immediately get up and hastily make your way out of the office, attempting to not leave any trace that you were there. “Hey babe, where were you?” “Oh, just in your office.” You admitted, “I was looking for a book.” “Which one?” He asked, opening the bags of food and taking out the boxes.

“Hemingway. His short stories.” “Oh,” He lightly nodded, “Those should be on the living room shelf, I believe.” “Thanks, Gee.” You said, now assisting him in getting food out. You two sat down on the couch facing each other eating from your pasta you had gotten. “What’s on your mind, darling?” He asked.

“Nothing.” You replied. He rolled his eyes.

“I know something’s in that pretty little head of yours.” You sighed, knowing you weren’t going to win this battle.

“Okay, I um,” You began, “I shouldn’t have done this I know. It was an invasion of your privacy and I’m sorry but I read the poem in your journal because it was open while I was in your office.” He stopped for a minute. “I know I shouldn’t have done it but it was there. It was just so incredibly beautiful and I can’t stop thinking about it.” He didn’t respond for a while.

“You know everything in there was true though, right?” You looked up and lightly nodded. “I really do love everything about you.” “Thanks, Gee.” You smiled, “I love everything about you too.”

“You know, I have a lot more poems about you than just that one.” “You do?” He nodded.

“You’re all I think about, damn it.” He laughed at himself.

“I could say the same thing here.” You smiled.

“Do you ever think about us getting married?” He asked next, obviously a little hesitant. You knew you had to be honest.

“Yeah, a little, why?” “Because I have too. And I don’t want to do it now, but later on.” “Same here.” You nodded.

“So we’re gonna get married?” “Yeah, sure, why not?” You asked.

“Coolio.” He responded and you laughed. “What?” “We literally just concluded that we’re going to get married and your response is ‘coolio’?”

“Yeah?” He said, “What else did you want me to say? ‘My dearest Y/N, you are the light of my life and the moon to my sun-’“ “No, absolutely not.” You laughed even harder, “That’s so stupid.” “Yeah, I know.” He replied, “So coolio. We’re on the same page, my love.

[paige-from-my-book]

Aaaaannnnddd because I'm a useless lesbian, obviously I'm also writing a sports team romance. Here's a snippet from my rugby story (because I'm obsessed with rugby)! This one will take a long time to finish, it clocks in currently at 37 pages, but has a long ways to go. It is still pretty rough around the edges, so I would love feedback on how to make it better!

"I run up to practice as fast as I can. The spotlight is going to be on me enough being the new girl who became captain without even playing on the team first.  The downside to being the coach’s family friend.  Or upside, depending on how you feel about earning spots of leadership.  I’ve never been handed anything.  But no one on the team will see it that way.   All these girls know is that I’m coming from a few towns down the road and am taking who knows what popular girl’s spot on the team.

No one sees the years of experience, or hours of practice to make sure every tackle is right, or the drops of sweat I shed at the gym.  All they see is a new girl coming in, taking some well-liked leader out of the running, and trying to tell them what to do.

All of that would have been looming enough without my chemistry class running late, meaning now I’m showing up as the girls are finishing their lap.

I throw my bag down and get my cleats on as fast as I can. As I’m finishing up my second shoe, I hear a throat clear.

I turn around to see a girl a few inches taller than me looking down with annoyance.   She has bleach blonde hair, icy eyes, and looks like she could punt me across the pitch if she wanted to.

“We like to start practice on time.  We’re all busy, be considerate,” she says, raising one eyebrow.

“I know, I’m really sorry, my class went late. I rushed over as fast as I could,” I explain.

“Chris!  Hey no worries, there Becca.  Chris let me know she was going to be late.”  The sound of Len slows my quickly rising heart rate.  Even if the girls here don’t think I belong on the team, they can’t be too rough about it while the coach is here.

“Oh, you’re Chris!” a shorter girl smiles, holding her hand out.  “Rex.  How’s it going? You get started off with your classes alright?”  She’s stouter than most of the girls there and has a much lower voice. Her small face glistens already with sweat.

“Yeah. I am. It’s good. Ya know, just got moved in and such.  Learning where everything is.”

“Oh, so you’re our new field captain,” a third girl says, almost coolly.  I turn to look at her and have to hold back a gasp.  She looks down at me, since my head only comes up to her shoulders.  Her dark, almost black, long hair is pulled back in a ponytail, but some of her bangs have escaped her headband already, blowing in her toned face.  Her eyes stare into mine, like an ocean blue beating against the dark brown rocks that were my eyes. Her tank top shows off her muscular shoulders and neck as they ease into her rising and falling chest.

“Y-y-yeah, I uh…. I-I am,” I stutter, realizing I was staring at her incredible jawline for a bit too long. Great first impression, Captain. 

She nods.  “Right. Well we usually start practice off with a lap and some dynamic stretching.”

I nod back. “Oh for sure. I don’t want to be changing too much here.  I just want to… You know… Get us some w’s….” I stammer, clapping my hands together.

The tall girl gives me an amused look, also raising an eyebrow, but not in an annoyed way.  Her look was more of a “What are you even doing here and who put you in charge?”

“Right so with Chris now at scrumhalf, we’ll need to switch some people around.  Jordyn, you’ll be on the forward side now, and we’ll need to switch some others around to make everything fit.”

“Coach, you know I’m a better back. I just can’t run with the ball as well when I’m a forward,” Ocean Eyes complains. 

“Sorry, Jordyn. The only spot I have for you is in the pack, now.  All the other backs just aren’t as good at being a forward as you are.”

Jordyn looks down and I feel my face getting red.  As Len starts shouting out instructions for our first drill, I gently nudge Jordyn.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to-“ I start to apologize.

“It’s fine,” Jordyn says, looking back up and beginning to walk to where some cones are set up.

“Jordyn, really, I-“

“Seriously, Chris.  It’s fine.”

I sheepishly follow everyone over to where the cones are set up. As far as first five minutes on a team goes, that was probably one of the worst-case scenarios.

Later that week I go to my Spanish class.  I sit in my desk about fifteen minutes before class starts.  I’ve found the earlier you show up, the better pick of seats you have. 

I sit at a desk in the second row, next to the wall.  I sit on my computer and look at different housing off of campus.  The dorms are already getting on my nerves.  Apparently 10 pm quiet hours doesn’t actually mean it’s quiet by midnight.

“Hey there, Chris,” a familiar voice spits my name out awkwardly.

I look up to see Jordyn and another girl from the team standing in front of me, almost cornering me to the wall.

“Hey, guys,” I say, trying to give a friendly smile, but I know it looks faked and terrified.

“Do you just shoot up the ladder in everything you do?” the other girl asked with a half grin on her face.

“I uh…. I did pretty well on the um… entrance exam,” I manage to get out.

“Clearly.  I might need to cheat off of you,” Jordyn says, tapping my notebook lightly with her pen.  She flashes me an equally forced half smile, not even showing her teeth, and turns to sit down next to some friends of hers. 

The professor starts class by handing back our tests.  As I go up to grab mine, Jordyn catches my arm on the way back to my seat.

“How’d you d- Holy crap!” she exclaimed as she saw my test score.

“Oh, it’s just… I actually had a student that was from Spain stay with my family for a bit and we would talk all the time….”

“Yes, I’d encourage some of you to seek out help, maybe form study groups that don’t just include your friends, Miss Bellings,” the professor comments, hearing our conversation.

Jordyn pressed her lips together and looked back up at me.

My eyes and mouth opened wide as I tried to stammer out an apology.

Jordyn held up her hand and shook her head. “Whatever newbie. It’s not your fault you’re perfect.”

“I’m… I’m really not.”

Jordyn is already talking with a guy and laughing at something he said, so I walk the rest of the way back to my seat.

I pour coffee into my mug.  In high school I was fine getting up for eight o’clock class every day.  In college I have to slap myself to wake up enough to get out of bed. 

“Man, eight AM’s, right?” someone leans over and mutters to me.

“Yeah, definitely,” I mumble back as I continue fixing up my coffee with some cream. 

A hand next to me provides a stir stick. I take it and look up to say thank you to see Rex.

“Oh, hey, Rex.” She looks amused that I'm only just now realizing it's her standing next to me.

“Hey Chris.  You excited for our first game this weekend?”

“I’m not sure.  The girls don’t seem to want to listen to me.”  The last couple weeks at practice had been hard. Any time I tried to introduce a new play or give tips or run a drill it was always met with resistance. One particular forward, Ashleigh, would sometimes outright ignore me, even if I talked directly to her.

“Once they see you really play in a game, they’ll have no choice but to respect you.”

“What makes you so sure?”

“Chris, Jordyn and I watched those tapes you sent Len.  We know his brother’s been training you with that men’s team in your town. Plus you’re always so good at letting us know what to do and changing your coaching to fit the players. They’d be nuts not to.”

“Why did you and Jordyn see the tapes?”

“Because I’m the president and Jordyn was the field captain.”

I feel my face go red again.  “Man.  I really screwed things up for her.”

“She knows why.  Soon everyone else will, too. And it’s not like she minds.”

I look back at Rex as we start walking to where my books are. “I just don’t like being handed things, and I feel like that’s all she sees from me.”

Rex gives me a small smile. “She doesn’t feel that way. She may feel a little intimidated that you beat her in everything, though, including Spanish.”

“How do you know what Spanish I’m in?” I ask, trying to remember if I saw her in that class.

“Jordyn and I are roommates. She told me you looked familiar on the first day of practice and then once she found out you were in the same Spanish class, she told me.”

I nod. Jordyn talks about me? And not in a negative way?

Rex pats my shoulder as I stop at my table. “But anyway, give it time. The team will warm up to you.”

Those words ring in my ears as the actual ringing ebbs away. That had been a hard hit.  Ashleigh should have never passed me the ball high like that, especially with the other team so close.  The wind had left my lungs completely and leaves me sputtering and coughing a bit.

“Three, come here please.  Her feet were still off the ground, that’ll be an illegal hit, ball to blue,” I hear the sir call.

“Chris, you okay?” Rex asks, standing over me.

I nod, still unable to talk.  Finally I’m able to suck air in just in time to cough it back out.  My breathing steadies as the forwards come to where the ball is. 

“Hey girls,” I wheeze.  “We gotta keep those passes low and smart. No more hospital passes.” I have to cough a few more times before my breathing is fully steady again.

Ashleigh rolls her eyes as we set up and keep play going.

After the game, I look for ice to put on my cheek.  I can feel a swelling there from getting kneed at some point. 

“Hey, Chris, good job,” Maddy says. Maddy is a blonde, about 5’6” inside center.  She has curly hair and tattoos covering her toned arms.  “You really helped the flow of our game.”

I offer a smile but it hurts my cheek so it turns into a wince. “Thanks, Maddy. I appreciate you being with me when I would make runs.”

“Yeah.  I’m sorry the whole team hasn’t warmed up to you.  You really do make a difference, though.  They’ll come around.”

“Hey and even if they don’t, I just have to wait three years for them to graduate,” I joke. God three years. Transferring schools sucks.

Maddy laughs and claps a hand on my shoulder.

“Jokes on you, I’m gonna be a super senior and outlast everyone on the team,” Jordyn says, walking by us to grab something out of her bag.  “Hey, your cheek isn’t looking so great, are you putting something on that?”

“Well, I was going to go look around for some ice of some sort,” I answer, not sure at first if she was talking to me.   I can’t tell if she’s concerned or not.  Her face so rarely shows emotion, I have no idea if she likes me or not.

“Oh, don’t bother.  Just put one of these on it,” Rex interrupted, also walking up to our small group.  She hands me an ice-cold beer.

“Oh, I’m only nine-“

I’m cut off by a hand on my mouth.

“We don’t want to hear it, as long as you want it, it’s yours,” Rex says, taking her hand away from my face.

I take the beer, not wanting to seem ungrateful around my new and desperately needed friends.

I crack the beer, take a drink and put the cold can on my cheek.  I’ve only had beer a couple of times in my life.  My father always wanted someone to drink beer with, and since my older sister hated it, he’d let me try his from time to time.  

Still, this isn’t what my dad would order. The light blue can shouts college budget beer.  I’ll need to get used to this.

“There you go, kid,” Jordyn says, patting me on the back with her muscular arms.

I smile and then wince at her.  I’m glad she finally said something to me that was positive.  Ever since I learned it was her place on the field I was taking, I’ve wanted to make it up to her.  Maybe tutor her if she doesn’t hate me.

She chuckles at my attempt at a smile.  “Man, gotta love rugby.”  I notice long cleat marks down her leg.  She favors it slightly as she walks.

“You coming to the social, Chris?” Rex asks.

“Oh, I don’t know.  I might try to go back and do some homework.”

“I might go back to do some homework,” Becca says in a mockingly dorky tone.  “Come on, Chris.  You played great today, you earned a fun night with some beers.”

I nod sheepishly, again not wanting to be rude.  I can never tell if Becca likes me or not either.  She’s nice to me at times and never makes fun of me or disrespects me.  But she also never goes out of her way to talk to me. But she’s straightforward and works hard.  She’s given me absolutely no reason to dislike her.  Maybe one by one I can win the team over."

[comicteaparty]

January 25th-January 31st, 2020 Creator Babble Archive

The archive for the Creator Babble chat that occurred from January 25th, 2020 to January 31st, 2020.  The chat focused on the following question:

When dealing with criticism, how do you personally decide what is and isn’t legitimate criticism for your story?

Deo101 [Millennium]

For me, the only criticism i take from any critique (even professors) are the ones that I feel push me closer to my goals as an artist. I also only consider critique that comes with my consent and from a place of trying to help me grow. This second bit (trying to help) is something I can't really explain how to tell, you just kind of start to learn over time.

malverav

My philosophy regarding criticism is twofold: I don't take crit from people that I wouldn't take advice from, and I don't take unsolicited crit. I tend to seek out crit from people I know, respect, and trust who also get what I'm doing with my work and get what I'm aiming for. That, and after a certain level, crit is a matter of taste. Saying "this anatomy is squirrelly" or "push your contrast in values" is very useful and somewhat objective, but something like "you should shade like this, not like that" or "use a different colour" is simply a matter of taste in my opinion. It's why I don't take crit from everyone as everyone's tastes are different. I don't take crit from, say, @xX_roxas_fan_69_Xx saying 'your story sucks' with a three paragraph rundown of why. Random commenters? I don't listen to them if they're not paying my bills. Besides, a lot of those randos seem to enjoy tearing someone down and looking like the smartest person in the room, rather than doing something useful. It really speak to entitlement that someone thinks they can swan in and offer an artist their great and wise critique - who made you the boss of art, @xX_roxas_fan_69_Xx? There's a certain danger in listening to too much crit and advice, and after a certain point you just have to pay attention to your own instincts.

Tuyetnhi

Rip I usually don't take crit from folks on the internet or irl if I don't ask for it. Most of the time I often check with my peers to give advice because I know they'll help me push forward in my work. Though I'm thankful that I had advice from some industry folks but dang, that kind of stuff is uncommon.

I do have comments that really doesn't address the story at all and some superficial comparisons. Those I don't respond.(edited)

keii4ii

Everyone's brought up excellent points, many of which I personally employ as well. Here's one I haven't seen yet: If a criticism is extremely negative, to a point where "if this is correct, then my entire comic is garbage and I should start over" is the only logical conclusion, then I'm not going to consider it. Because yeah, I'm not going to start over. Doesn't matter how genuine their intentions at that point. Either they're right and I have an irredeemable pile of garbage -- which I'm not willing to throw out, so rip. Or they're "wrong" (as in, they got that negative because they are 10000% not my target audience) in which case, it'd be pointless trying to please them.

To clarify, "extremely negative" doesn't have to be a literal "your comic sucks at everything." Maybe they'll have some positive things to say, but with regards to my most important goals with the story, they'll have nothing but total negatives to say. e.g. "None of your jokes are even remotely funny, but hey, nice art" for a comedy comic.

DaemonDan (The Demon Archives)

I like to think I'm fairly opened minded with regards to most crit, as long as it feels well intentioned, and as long as I can see where they're coming from.

That doesn't mean I'm necessarily going to change anything on that given page (too expensive for me since I have to pay my artist for everything), but it's something to consider going forward

Especially if it is a concern/question about plot or something that I haven't explained well yet and didn't have planned to explain/show.

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I can’t put into words exactly how I ‘tell’ if it’s legit or not. If it’s just ripping my work apart and delivered in an aggressive tone, I know that it’s ill-intended and not to pay it any mind. If it’s also from a serial nitpicker, I usually disregard it as well. If it’s polite and well thought out, I’m more likely to pay attention. Even then, I’m usually able to tell if it’s good, applicable advice or well-meaning, but subjective opinions that simply don’t apply. I’m usually pretty aware of the flaws in my work and can hold it at arms length to see if a crit really does have a good point. If I think it will genuinely help me improve, I’ll start incorporating the advice into my work. Because if a critique helps me get better at what I’m already trying to do, then I’m all ears. I’m always open to con crit, and I think carefully about what was pointed out, but I also take it with a grain of salt. Probably the biggest thing I learnt as an art student wasn’t about making art, but how to parse critique I received.(edited)

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

There's really only two types of criticism I completely disregard - 1) Something that shows the critiquer's vision of the comic is completely different from my own (e.g. "I liked the bad drawings better, you should have stuck with that"). 2) Some variation of "stop making the comic" (e.g. "you should stop posting art until you improve more") (both of which are real criticisms I've gotten. the latter one surprisingly recently.) Also, sometimes a criticism is... difficult to understand? Like I'll try to take "the dialogue doesn't pull me into the next page" into consideration, but... it's hard to nail down exactly what that means, y'know? Fortunately I haven't really gotten any bad faith criticism or un-asked for criticism, so, that's nice.

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

Luckily I haven't received too much critique/criticism on my comic work, and (so far!) certainly nothing harsh or insulting. In all honesty, I could use a bit more critique, and should probably actively seek it out, so I could keep learning and improving! As such, I've taken all the criticisms into account to varying degrees. If I can't easily go back and fix something, I can always keep that note in mind for future pages. I'm usually most concerned about clarity of plot/progression - aesthetic choices are a matter of preference, but if a reader just plain can't tell what's happening, that's my biggest concern. A comic can be many things, but it should at least be legible, both in words and in images. I take notes on legibility/clarity very seriously.(edited)

varethane

I liked deo's comment at the top about considering crit if it gets you closer to your goals... for me, that's often the most important aspect. Feedback from someone who understands what I'm trying to do is really valuable, because it can help me pin down things that I was already kind of aware weren't working but couldnt put into words. When it comes to unsolicited crit, honestly the most useful ones I've gotten were from readers who didnt even realize they were making a crit. When I start to see comments that appear to be misunderstanding what i intended to put into a page, then I know I need to make some changes.

AntiBunny

In a world of very quiet readers I've had to seek out criticism. Much of what I've gotten is pretty legitimate as a result. I find that legitimate criticism usually can back up its argument. You'll have examples of what's wrong, point out counterexamples, of have suggestions to how to make it better.

Illegitimate criticism is usually cases of personal insults or just saying "it's bad." However there are also cases of people attempting to give legitimate criticism, but missing the point. Usually those who didn't do their homework.

For instance in AntiBunny http://antibunny.net/ one of the biggest failings I've seen at giving legitimate criticism was "I didn't finish it, but it seems incomplete." That's a good example of someone not doing the reading necessary to back up their comment.

And lastly those who just don't realize that the subject matter isn't for them, and confuse that with a judgment of quality such as "I don't like black and white comics," and "I don't like anthropomorphic animal comics."

More legitimate arguments I've gotten, that actually did help me improve were comments on the old site design, which was really stuck in my rather late 90's HTML coding skills, so I took the time to learn a bit of CSS, and improved upon it. Others were about the early art style, which I've grown and evolved from since then. And of course about the text being hard to read, so I moved away from hand written text, and tried several fonts before settling on a free and open font. Jr Hand if anyone is interested.

In short, legitimate criticism helps you improve, illegitimate is either an attack, or just misses the point.

kayotics

I tend to seek out crit from people who I trust, first and foremost. Usually before I even start the work. Unsolicited critique, I think about it for a few days and then decide whether it’s appropriate or not. I do this because I’ve gotten critique before that HAS hurt me enough for me to stop a project. Other people’s opinions of me affects me a lot, and I have to mull on their words to decide whether or not they’re being honest or if they’re saying something to me in bad faith. Sometimes it’s hard to separate what’s legitimate criticism and what’s just entirely incorrect, so that’s why I take a few days to mull on it before acting on it.

keii4ii

Yeah, sometimes even a good faith critique can just... miss the point entirely, and it can demoralize me in a unique way. 'They're genuinely trying to be helpful, so they have to be right..........' kinda thing -- which is not always the case, I've had to remind myself.

Deo101 [Millennium]

Another thing about critique, is if it is truly in good faith and trying to help you grow... They won't mind if you don't take it.

kzuich

I've always said thanks no matter the feedback...but I've definitely gotten crappy critique that wasn't helpful before. One of the worst I've ever received when I was soliciting feedback was from someone who couldn't pinpoint what they didn't like about my comic, but said it was "wasted potential" and needed to be more serious. (Wut.) They then tried to tell me that they'd be willing to help me if I'd invite them on as a writer/editor, and now I'm thinking that person didn't even read my comic and was just trying to neg me into giving them a spot on my site so they'd have a project with their name attached to it or something xD(edited)

(For the record...my comic is a very lighthearted comedy. Like...way to miss the point! xD)

Cherryzombs

Oof. -_- Reminds me of an art teacher once putting "Not Creative Enough" on one of my works. I dunno what to do with that...

kzuich

Lol art teachers like that always got under my skin.

keii4ii

Yeah, critics missing the point is a big part of why I've become extremely selective about who to ask crits from!

kzuich

I don't really solicit feedback much anymore.

Not because I don't want critique

It's just...There are not a lot of people who actually know -how- to critique

keii4ii

Sometimes you can glean some good things from a critique that just missed the point -- like, sometimes it can help you see why they missed it and how you can maybe prevent that. But.... I don't have the spoons for that kinda gleaning anymore.

kzuich

I don't mind people reviewing my comic, because, well, hey exposure! But if I ask for feedback, I'm asking people who make comics. Because the best critique I've ever gotten was over on the SF discord. A user actually gave critique that was extremely helpful and on-point.

keii4ii

Even fellow comickers can be unhelpful, too. Every person whom I've asked for critique was making a comic, but the helpfulness has varied a lot.

kzuich

Yeah that's true

keii4ii

"I hate, hate, HATE your MC, so you should kill him off or otherwise get rid of him forever" was told to me by a fellow comic creator.... and I was already doing like, chapter 7, so yeah, removing the MC wasn't really an option X'D

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

YIKES WHAT

kzuich

You could always do a 180 and really trip out your readers

very ~experimental~

The critic who hated my comic would've loved that

I gotta dig up that critique because it was really funny. My husband and I will make jokes about it from time to time lol

keii4ii

XDD

kzuich

Like have I totally turned this on its head? I'm critiquing the critic

Cherryzombs

When someone asks me for feedback I tend to ask what specifically they want notes on.

Otherwise I don't really offer it. >.>

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I usually ask if they want critique first and then do the compliment sandwich if they say yes.

And try to really emphasise the things I like and feel are working.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

@Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios) "compliment sandwich" I love that.

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I didn’t come up with it, but thank you! XD

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

In regards to how I myself determine what critiques are worth my consideration... I like what @Deo101 [Millennium] and @varethane spoke about with the idea of our personal vision for our work. Whether or not someone gets what I'm trying to accomplish from my work or not plays a huge role in whether I'll take their critique seriously. An example of this is in my comic Whispers of the Past, there was a scene where a character had a flashback, and to show that it was a flashback, I made the background behind the panels black instead of white. A commenter told me I should make the background behind all the panels black because it adds more contrast. By itself, the critique wasn't that harmful or incorrect, but in the context of "this story is gonna have a bunch of flashbacks and I need a way to differentiate them from present time," it definitely was a critique that wasn't really helpful to me. The commenter clearly didn't understand that it was a flashback. Another type of critique I don't pay attention to are critiques where the critic is pointing out something that I can't really change. Or are being unintentionally rude, "It's too short." "I can't remember what happened in the past updates because of the infrequent postings." "I would rather you wait until you have X pages before posting." Um... I can't just simply draw FASTER. I'm not a GOD. And finally, critiques that have to do with taste and not quality. I had an art professor whose common critiques of my work included, "This is too illustrational," and "The colors are too saturated." To which my responses were: https://media.tenor.com/images/7dfa6d3d76a277b8c204945ae8fd3161/tenor.gif(edited)

renieplayerone

for me, I tend to ignore a lot of random critique, or at the very least put it aside and ask a friend later. What I do trust for critique is when the critique comes from other comic writers and artists who I know, and I seek out the critique on my own. I also tend to take more to critique when it's constructive or from a good-faith helpful place, like "hey this page could use some more clarity to get your point across" rather than "whut? Idk what this is". I also am in some writer groups where we do crit nights, which are very structured and from a "I want to see you succeed, lets help make that happen" standpoint, so Im much more likely to listen to them than a rando on the internet saying "draw it, but gud"

carcarchu

@keii4ii i once read a webcomic where the author killed the main love interest after 100 chapters and replaced him with a clone xD i really respect the author's boldness there

kzuich

lol what a legend

DanitheCarutor

Usually I try to put any criticism for anyone into consideration, sometimes a stranger might have more knowledge of what I'm trying to do than I do, and I have gotten really good advice for randos popping in with critique and suggestions. Although, due to my story being super tight, I usually end up weeding out whatever doesn't apply to what I'm currently trying to accomplish with it. This sucks because that's a lot of story critique, and it makes me look like some child who can't handle negative feedback. There has been comments that I should make more happy scenes or get rid of some heavy stuff, make the comic more like Breaking Bad (Never seen this show. ) because it's too boring, having romantic scenes to fit the title, make my MC Julian less "weird" and more likable. I can change small things, but big stuff that has an affect on the main plot would make me have to rework the entire story... which then it wouldn't really be TGtaHR. I can do some tweaking to the main stuff, but the person giving the critique would have to know the whole story, and what I'm trying to accomplish. At least in my extremely anal opinion.

Art wise I'm more open, there have been really good suggestions about me using more contrast and values to draw the audience's eyes to what I want them to see, I've been told to simplify my backgrounds or use less bold colors which is a problem for me since I'm REALLY into drawing detail, or that I need to make my speechbubbles more readable. These are valid critiques because these things do hinder the comic, and I have been trying to work on improving, although admittedly I do have a lot of trouble changing up my coloring and details. There have been a few interesting ones that I've kinda ignored since they don't really help? A couple people have said I should switch to drawing digitally because it looks more professional/polished, I've been told to stop drawing backgrounds entirely, someone said I should draw in a more aesthetically appealing style, and another one was that I drew too many dynamic angles. There is a critique I've gotten a few times in particular that I've kinda ignored, but I'm not sure if I should apply, which is that my shading is weird. As in my style of complementary shading looks bad, and while I really like that type of shading I'm not sure if I'm applying it correctly. The people who usually say this don't ever elaborate on what they mean, or how I can do better... except one person who said I should use a darker version of the same color or black for shading, which is kinda gross looking to me.

But yeah, I generally try really hard to take in criticism, but if I can't make it work for what I'm currently trying to do I move on.

varethane

Too...... many?? dynamic angles.....??

Tuyetnhi

wut omg there can't be too many dynamic angles

varethane

Yeah, uh, pretty sure you can disregard that one lmao

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Lol, I WISH I had that problem

DanitheCarutor

Yeah, that one totally caught me off guard, I've never heard of drawing too many angles. Usually the criticism is that you're not drawing enough. I told them I was practicing my perspective, which I am, but... yeah, didn't know what to say to that.

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

God, what I wouldn't give to have more angles I guess too much detail can be an overload, but still, better too many than too few

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Actually, one of the most legitimate critiques I ever got was from a professional editor at a convention where he was doing portfolio reviews. And you know what he said? That I should have more interesting camera angles.

SAWHAND

Lol! I do think most people have to force themselves to think about the camera angles. I certainly do at least! I think the key to good critique is to understand that it's not really about liking or not liking something. It's not about preference at all. It's about letting the artist know what the audience is likely seeing or experiencing so that they know whether their intentions are coming across. And if you're getting that advice from other artists usually they can tell you why something feels a certain way. For example, a reader might say, "it seems really hectic", but an experienced artist might be able to say "I think having a lot of different camera angles so quickly is making the scene feel very hectic." (just using camera angles as an example, since it came up) And then as the artist, you can say oh great, that's exactly what I was going for, or you can think about changing it. But critique is just about helping an artist refine their vision, letting them know if the tools/techniques they're using are matching up well with their intentions.

RebelVampire

Yeah. Somewhat to the above, I could see a critic saying "too many dynamic angles" if they meant that there wasn't a good visual flow and it was hard to follow in that regard

It's always good to remember a lot of the people who have time to give critiques for a whole webcomic are actually not professional artists. So they can't always accurately describe in that realm what theyre seeing.(edited)

mariah (rainy day dreams)

This conversation reminded me of a Tumblr tutorial from m forever ago by one of the Adventure Time folks. It talks about a lot of things, but specifically I could see someone thinking the camera is "too dynamic" if a comic artist is breaking the 180° rule a lot in their panels or not following screen direction. Though screen direction is probably a little more forgiving in a non-animated format. Anyway, I'll put the link for that tutorial in #art_resources

Mei

Critique is a tough one. Because for the most part I accept critique from close friends that I trust and from my professors. Sometimes though, I personally feel like my art will be going one direction and will waylay the critique for another project. If that makes any sense. I guess what I mean is that sometimes you've already done so much on one piece or comic and when someone gives you critique it's like "okay thank you, I hear you, and I will implement it in the next thing I do, not this page that I am currently doing." I also tend to ask my friends if they don't mind critique? For things that are WIPs and shared. My friend once said "I mean what do you say to that... Can you even say no?" And I was like, "Yes you can completely say no and I wouldn't give critique it's as simple as that", but I guess when you're closer friends,it's less apprehension maybe. That being said, I haven't really run into the unsolicited critique category quite yet. I mean, I feel as if I'll run into that eventually, I've just been lucky enough not to. Plus, a lot of critique I get is actually about things I'm already aware that I need to improve on? I got some pretty fair critique from several people on several projects that I should work on backgrounds, layouts, and location. Which I know is a weakness I have, and honestly I avoid it a lot because I'm really scared of it? And I know that I have to just... work on it and do more visual studies if I ever want to improve. It's just a very daunting task, especially since I'm studying as a character animator, so the backgrounds are almost always secondary (I kept handing off backgrounds to friends to help do rip) And with what was said above about 'too many dynamic angles', I can see why that might be a critique for action sequences. Something like Boku Aca actually suffers visually from that! It's so dynamic that pages can end up looking clunky? I guess?!

DanitheCarutor

Urm to cover my ass, I do agree and see how too many dynamic angles can be a hindrance, but for out of the norm stuff like that I unfortunately need to be shown an example or elaboration on why that isn't working for me. I don't remember how far back the critique was, maybe around chapter 2 or 3. They never pointed anything out, but I believe they were responding to pages like these. Edit: DON'T actually read the contents of these pages, a couple of them might have some heavy stuff that could make you uncomfortable.(edited)

(I do agree that the circular perspective page is awful, it was my first attempt and I didn't have a drawing table at the time to make a larger circle. I might redraw that page at some point.) But it's really hard to know exactly what they mean. Should I do more eye level shots? More talking heads? I'm super thick in the head, and need a little hand-holding, when it comes to understanding critiques like that. I do agree, though. There are so comics that have so much going on that they can be really hard to read.

Mei

I think in terms of dynamism it's just important to keep in mind that if EVERYTHING is dynamic ALL THE TIME, then it ceases to be 'dynamic' and becomes the norm, and it can be as whip-lashy as a movie that uses far too many jump cuts in an action movie. Like you want to be able to follow that continuous string of motion and jumpcuts can disturb that? So similarly in comics it's something people will say to keep in mind

I mean I don't see anything particularly wrong with the angles you're using in the pages you've linked! And at the end of the day, if it works for you then it works? And it's also a personal taste thing i think

some people LOVE comics with tonnes of dynamic panelling and angles. Other people prefer things really grounded in reality and more gentle in terms of the cuts

So I guess to string this back to the critique stuff, it's things you can take note of and be more aware of but doesn't necessarily mean that what you've already made is 'bad' or whatever, because it definitely isn't. I always see Critique as just things that other people notice that you don't, and sometimes they're helpful and sometimes it's like "Okay thanks for pointing that out"

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Yeah, those pages look good to me.

I particularly love the lighting in the last page.

Desnik

Oh this is a good creator question. So, for me, legitimate critique is when a person labels specific things in the story and proves that they actually read it, whether they do or don't like it. I might not take that person's suggestions but I do think about how the story's coming across. For instance one of my writing group friends hounded me over explaining each and every little thing in my story...but honestly I'm not going to infodump upfront. But her feedback is terribly important because if she's asking this kind of question about what's going on, she can't possibly be the only person who will be a bit lost(edited)

even though I'm not implementing her suggestion specifically the way she wants it (big simple infodump), at least I'm thinking about what information is clear and what's waiting to be explained later

There's also observing people because that can give me bigger clues than what they say. If they trip over a sentence when reading aloud, then I definitely check it out and see if I can make the prose easier to read. Little stuff like that.

DanitheCarutor

@Mei Sorry, haven't been online much this week. Oh yeah, that is totally understandable, and I have seen how too many odd camera angles or jump cuts can be jarring! I just thought it was an interesting critique since they never elaborated on what they meant, plus even though I've heard of certain angles ruining a scene, I've never actually heard about having too many dynamic angles so it just surprised me. A good chunk of webcomic creators default to more standard angles since perspective can be such a pain in the ass, and takes up extra time, so the feedback I usually see is to have more variety. Sorry if any of this came off like I was complaining! I really wasn't, I just wanted to answer the question with some examples of different types of criticism I've received. Talking about some of the ones that were odd, or I couldn't take for one reason or another. Didn't mean to draw so much attention to myself. xD That is true, though. It might have been personal taste, who knows, we can always improve more.

@Cronaj (Whispers of the Past) Thank you! I was really satisfied with how that page turned out!

Mei

@DanitheCarutor Oh no I never thought you were complaining at all! I was just responding haha sorry if that made you think I was being overly critical or anything. But yeah, I mean some people have different tastes or they point out different things that may or may not be problems. I think having a lot of critique can be a double edges sword anyway. On the one hand, it's great to hear outside opinions. On the other hand, they can give such varying advice that's all based on personal taste that it could not even apply to you. So it's like... take what you can and leave the rest or something?!

RebelVampire

While I normally don't participate in these, I will this week as a fiction writer and as someone who used to do webcomic reviews. For me, when it comes to dealing with criticism and critiques and deciding what's legit is to look for trends - which is the advice I generally give for anybody who doesn't know what to look for. Creativity is not an exact science, and as such, critiquing creative projects is not an exact science. While there are certainly foundations, in the bigger scheme of things, every critique is going to be different and unique. Every critic/reviewer/etc. has their own personal tastes, their own personal goals and aims when giving the criticism, their own personal style for giving a critique, and so on. This is why you can have two reviews that are completely opposite from each other in opinion, because each person is not only influenced by what they think makes a work good, but just their own personal focuses no matter how objective a critic tries to be. But, to me, this is why when you get several people all saying the same thing, that's the time to get concerned and consider changing something. Cause again, every critic is coming from a different place, and if people coming from different places are reaching the same approximate conclusion, they're actually probably on to something. So, I play the patience game, gather multiple critiques, and look for trends before putting stock into any one piece of criticism.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

But what do you do when a bunch of people all say the same thing, but fixing that issue would take a ton of time and effort? A lot of people have said that my font is too small and hard to read. Is it worth it to spend a day just changing a bunch of letters on 70+ pages and saving and resizing them again? Despite all the people telling me it's an issue, I still don't really think it's that bad. I'm used to reading page format comics, and my font size is comparable to other page format comics. I think a big part of why people are complaining is because I'm a page-format comic on webtoons. But also I'm using a custom font which is my own handwriting. Obviously I'm used to reading my own handwriting and find it very legible, but other people aren't and so might find it more difficult to read. Maybe I can't look at the font objectively because of that : /

Kabocha

I think font issues and readability are... A different issue. One thing I noticed as I got older is that the small fonts I used to tend towards got harder and harder to read. So finding a balance between page legibility on the web and print is... Challenging. But it can be done. If you have a small screen with a high resolution (more than a cell phone), might be worth seeing how much you have to zoom in or focus to read it

Granted, I'm not yet 35, but my eyesight hasn't improved...;;!

mariah (rainy day dreams)

I'm not sure about updating the old stuff, but if it's something that's been repeatedly brought up I would definitely increase the size on pages going forward and see if that helps. I can see the value in also updating the old pages if people are dropping off because the type is too small, but also I feel like 70 pages is like right on the board for me of not worth it for the time it would take. The value of your time is a personal decision though.

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

Even when taking critique, I almost never apply that to old pages. Webcomic readers generally expect a level of improvement, so they can understand if early pages have issues that are fixed later on.

Kabocha

Agreed, though if you have a way to batch process files for export, that might not be bad? It really depends on how much of a barrier to readability it is.

But in the context of critique? Eh, worth knowing for future projects at minimum!

Kabocha

Anyway, to answer the question I suppose... How do I determine what's legitimate and what's not... I guess it depends -- I saw a few people mentioning whether the interests of the critique align with your growth (or I think I saw that; admittedly, I'm not really inclined to scroll up too far right now), or whether or not you trust the person giving the critique. I think those are two good things look at, for sure! I also think it's worth considering whether or not you care. Like, at the end of the day, if it's not a show-stopper or making the work unreadable or unenjoyable, then... Meh? Make a note of it for the future, see if it's something you can incorporate if you solicited the critique. If it's entirely unsolicited... bigger meh.

DanitheCarutor

@Mei Nooo you didn't make me feel that way, I just know it can come off that way to a lot of people and wanted to clarify. Differentiating critique based on personal taste from you doing something objectively bad can be really hard to do sometimes! I usually do what Rebel Vampire said and collect them until I see a trend, but sometimes I wonder if that single critique is someone noticing a flaw no one else does. Although that might be me over-thinking things. @RebelVampire That is a good reminder of how different people are, and how variety there is in how they view things. Man, I wish I knew about your reviews back when you still did them... and I also magically had a decent chunk of my comic finished, I really liked your style. For the most part I try to apply the idea of going off trends. Unfortunately there is one I do tend to ignore since it feels like ends up fitting with my intentions, which are critiques about making my story less sad/uncomfortable/heavy. It probably is a legit flaw, and I might be executing my story poorly for all I know, but I did want to make a comic that could be really sad and/or uncomfortable. Due to that I kind of ignore those critiques... even though I probably shouldn't, it's hard to tell for those ones specifically. But yeah, hoarding critiques like they're playing cards, then finding patterns to see what needs to be improved is a good way to find a quality in your work that might be objectively bad.

keii4ii

@DanitheCarutor I think that's a great point, especially for those of us making very niche stories. Even if you get 99 people telling you they don't like your work because of X, sometimes it is the 100th person that you're writing for, the one who LOVES that (very intentional and pivotal) X in your work.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

ESPECIALLY if those 99 critiques are not aligned with your artistic vision to begin with.

DanitheCarutor

Yeah, the hardest thing about making something niche is a lot of people aren't going to like it no matter how well you pull it off, also getting feedback that works with what you're trying to accomplish is kinda hard. I went into my comic know it wouldn't get a whole lot of people who would understand or enjoy it, so I decided it would be for myself to vent and whoever does like the story can tag along. That seemed like the best plan to keep from getting discouraged. It IS really nice when that 100th person comes along who loves that weird stuff as much as I do.

RebelVampire

@Eightfish (Puppeteer) To add my own two cents to previous replies about fixing old pages, I think this depends first off, what others have said, how you value your own personal time and whether you think its worth the effort. Second, though, I think is to consider what the issue is that needs to be fixed. Some issues are definitely more minor than others, and ppl accept if you fix them later. However, then there's issues like readability, too much front-loading of information, etc. that can be a bit more major because its effecting readers' ability to understand your comic. It's at that point I personally believe that it'd be better to fix earlier pages. Cause the average new reader isn't going to show up to the comic and go "Maybe this will improve with this major issue later." The average new reader is going to give your comic 20 pages at most and then leave if the issues are still there and they can't follow the comic. In other words, always remember readers still have to read the beginning pages in order to get to the improved pages. So the question is, do you think the issue is something that will make readers drop the comic before they even get to that point? Again, though, emphasis, this is a personal decision. There are people who would put in the effort, and people who wouldn't. And both are right because what you do with criticism is ultimately your business.

[atlafan]

Office Neighbors - Part Nine

a/n: more Andy angst, some embarrassing dad moments, and the ski trip, not proofread (reblogs and feedback are super helpful!)

warnings: slight angst, fluff, and smut

words: 17K

masterpost

Caroline had started coming to some of Andy’s basketball games, which you could tell went right up Brandon’s ass because Andy would want to talk with her after the game. She was his girlfriend now, though, so what could Andy do? It was really sweet, he told you all about how he asked her out, and not Harry. He had called her and just asked her if she wanted to be his girlfriend and she said yes immediately.

“Do you wanna meet my dad?” Andy asks her after his game.

“Yeah!”

He takes her hand and walks her over to where all of the parents were sitting and talking while all of the boys got their things together.

“Dad, this is Caroline.”

“Oh! Hi, it’s nice to meet you.” He extends his hand for her to shake and she blushes. She gives Andy a funny look.

“What?”

“You didn’t say your dad was British…”

“Oh, well sometimes I forget, honestly.”

You burst out laughing at that and try to compose yourself as Harry side eyes you.

“Anyways…” Harry says. “I’ve heard so many good things. You’re from Maine?”

“Mhm, we just moved here, and-“

“Caroline.” Mrs. Stearn comes walking over to the group. “We need to go, you still have homework to do.”

“Oh, sorry, Mom, I was just saying hello to Mr. Styles, you know, Andy’s dad.”

“Hi.” He smiles at her and shakes her hand. “You just started at the university, right? Y/N and I are professors in the CM department.”

“Oh! Yes, I’m in the Psychology department. My husband also just started there. He’s the new Director of Operations for the IT department.”

“Wow.” You say, impressed.

“So, you’re the woman who chaperoned their first couple of dates?” Mrs. Stearn smirks.

“That would be me, yeah.” You smile. “Harry was in London at the time.”

“Well, I appreciate it, honestly. I felt terrible we couldn’t really have Andy over since we were still unpacking. We sort of still are. We’ll have a housewarming at some point.” She sighs and looks at Caroline. “Ready to go, honey?”

“Mhm, bye, Andy.”

“Bye.” They smile at each other before her and her mother head out.

“She seems nice, tired, but nice.” You say. “She has three other daughters all in high school.”

“That can definitely be tiring.” Harry chuckles. “Are you ready?” He says to Andy.

“Let me just say bye to Brandon.” Andy races over to Brandon to say goodbye before you all head out.

“Andy, you played so well. You’re good at everything.” You say in the car.

“I actually sucked at basketball when I first started. Mr. Stewart is just a really good coach. Brandon taught me how to skateboard too. He’s the one that’s good at everything.”

“You’ve shown him some art tricks.” Harry points out.

“True. Art starts up this week, I’m so excited. We get to do more clay stuff, I can’t wait.”

“Maybe we could go to that pottery paint place sometime.” You say. “We could go on a little double date.” You wink at Harry.

“Yeah! Can we, Dad?”

“Sure.” Harry shrugs. “Sounds like fun.”

“And you said we could go ice skating, Saturday, don’t forget.”

“Don’t worry, we’re all set to go to the free skate at the university.” He looks at you. “You’re still coming, yeah?”

“Mhm, although, I can’t promise I’ll stay on my feet for very long. I’m not a strong skater.” You laugh.

“I’ll keep you steady.” He puts his hand on your thigh and gives it a squeeze. Andy rolls his eyes not that either of you see.

//

Syllabus week was alive and well. Your classes were off to a good start, which you were thankful for. Many of the students had gotten to know you by now, so you were starting to see some repeat faces. It gave you a major boost of confidence. It was time for your meeting with Lisa. You had sent her everything you had so she could look it all over beforehand.

“Lisa?” You tap on the outside of her office door.

“Come in, Y/N!” She beams. “Please have a seat.” You nod and close the door before sitting down. “How was your break? I know we spoke a bit during the faculty meeting, but we didn’t really get to catch up.”

“Oh, it was good. Got a lot done, relaxed a little.”

“That’s great. I heard you got to spend some time with little Andy while Harry was in London?”

“I did.” You nod. “It was some good quality time.”

“I’m sure everyone says it to you, but I just think it’s so wonderful you and Harry got together. You’re such a great pair.”

“Oh, um, thank you.”

“Anyways, let’s get down to it, shall we? What you have so far is really good. You’re very articulate in your writing. It’s clear and concise. I think anyone who’s not up on the times of social media and anonymity would be able to follow along, but it’s also no to so low level that someone who does know about the subject would be bored, I appreciate that a lot.”

“Thank you, I was worried it almost sounded condescending.”

“Not at all. It’s good that you have those pockets of extra explanation.” You nod at her. “Keep doing what you’re doing, and I think you’ll have an excellent piece of writing here. However, you also need to be thinking about how you’ll defend yourself during your presentation. You need to start thinking of a committee. Obviously Harry can’t be on it, but I’m sure you know that.”

“Right, major conflict of interest.” You chuckle.

“Exactly.” She chuckles too. “I think Sandra would be a good person to start with. I wouldn’t suggest Janette either since you’re close with her. I’ll obviously be on the committee too. I think some people from the English department could be good as well.”

“Okay, yeah, I’ll definitely start thinking of some people. At least Harry can help me with the presentation aspect of things. He’s such a good presenter.”

“He definitely is, that’s an excellent idea.”

You felt better than you thought after your meeting with Lisa, you were practically floating through the halls as you made your way back to your office. After you sit for a few minutes, you look up and see Harry standing in your doorway.

“Hey.” You smile.

“Hi…got a few minutes?”

“Sure! Come on in.”

“Great.” He closes the door and sits down in front of your desk.

“What’s up?”

“I wanted to talk to you about Andy’s February break. It’s about a month away, and I know it would be a lot to ask you to cancel your classes for that week, but I’d like if you joined us.”

“Oh, wow, um…would I have fun? I don’t know how to ski, Har.”

“They have beginning adult lessons! I could take one with you so you wouldn’t be alone either.”

“You’d let Andy go off on his own?”

“Well…he wouldn’t be alone…here’s the catch.” He chews the inside of his cheek. “We all had a lot of fun last year, making the trip more of a blended family thing, it was good bonding for everyone, and-“

“You want me to go on a ski trip with you, your son, your ex, her fiancé, and his daughter? Is that what you’re asking me?”

“Yes.”

You lean back in your chair and let a breath out. You go to speak, but nothing comes out. You keep rethinking what you want to say.

“Harry, I-“

“Don’t say no yet. Think about it, yeah? I’d really like it if you were there.”

“That just feels really serious, and you and I haven’t even talked about where this is all going yet.”

“Where what is all going?”

“Our relationship.”

“I thought it was pretty obvious, I didn’t think we needed to have a conversation about it. We always say little things about the future, thought we were solid.”

“We are, but there are things we haven’t exactly discussed.”

“Like what?”

“Like…um, like, Jesus, I can’t talk about this here.” You pinch the bridge of your nose. “We’re at work, now isn’t the time.”

“Neither of us have classes for the rest of the day, just talk to me.”

“Harry, I wanna have kids someday, not that I don’t love Andy, and not that I wouldn’t treat him as my own, but I would like to have a baby myself, and I have no idea if you want that too. You could easily not want to do the baby thing again, and I’d like to know that sooner rather than later.”

“If I didn’t are you saying you would break things off? Andy and I wouldn’t be enough?”

“Maybe for a little while, but I feel like I’d become resentful. There’s this piece of me I feel really deep inside myself that’s missing, you know? I know in the grand scheme of things we haven’t been together that long, so I know it’s a lot to be talking about this now, but-“

“No, I get it…you’re valid.” He sighs.

“And I wouldn’t want you to just say yes to me because you want me around. I don’t wanna have a kid with someone that doesn’t want that kid.”

“It would be such a big age difference…Andy would be at college by the time the kid would even know he has a brother, and Andy would just feel like another parent. Wouldn’t even be able to enjoy having a little sibling, would he?” He was more so just thinking out loud because he wasn’t looking at you as he spoke, but then he makes eye contact with you. “How many do you think you’d want to have?”

“Um, I don’t know…two maybe?”

“You, you want to have two of my children?”

“I’d like you to be the father, yeah.” You chuckle. You didn’t really know the weight this carried in Harry’s heart. This was very serious to him. “I’m not in love with anyone else last time I checked.”

“So you want it all with me, then? Marriage, house, kids?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Wow.” He sits back and looks off again.

“There’s no rush or anything, I just want us to be on the same page and make sure we want the same things.”

“No, that’s totally fair, Y/N.” He plucks at his bottom lip as he looks at you. “You realize in order to have all that you’d have to move in with us at some point.” You nod at him. “How do you feel about that? Do you like my house enough to want to live there? I don’t particularly want to move…”

“I love your house! And I have some design ideas that could make it more ours at some point. I think it’s the perfect size.”

“Maybe I should invest in that pool then…” Again, he was just thinking out loud. “I…I could see myself having more kids.” He says, looking at you now. His gaze could be so intimidating sometimes. It was the shape of his eyebrows, he could look so fucking scary.

“Really?” You ask as softly as you can.

“Yeah.” He smiles at you. “If it’s with you, yeah.”

“Oh, Harry.” Your eyes were starting to water. You get up and sit sideways on his lap, hugging him.

“We’re at work, Y/N.”

“Don’t care.” You kiss his cheek and hold him close to you. He holds you just as close, rocking you slightly. His eyes were watery too.

“When, um, when do you think you’d wanna move in?”

“God, I don’t know…my lease is up in July, maybe then?”

“You’d wanna wait that long?”

“I think I should so I can still focus on my work, it’s my quiet space.”

“Okay, that’s fair.” He sighs. “Even though you’ve been staying over more and more.” He smirks at you. “Lot of money to pay for a quiet space.”

“If I feel like I should move in sooner then we can talk about it, but right now I think July is good.”

“Alright, July it is.” He pecks your lips. “Now, what about February break?”

“God, won’t it be awkward?”

“No.” He shrugs. “I had fun last year. You’ve seen how spacious the cabin is, we’d have our own section of the house, so would Noah and Paige, and the kids would stay in the bunk room. Plenty of privacy.” He wiggles his eyebrows at you and you smack his shoulder.

“You’re fucking crazy if you think I’m gonna get busy with you under the same roof as all those people.”

“So, is that a yes?”

“It’s a very reluctant yes.”

He kisses you again.

“You’ll have a great time, I promise.”

“You better not laugh at me when I fall a ton on those skis.”

“You learned how to hike no problem, you’ll be a pro at skiing before you know it.”

“Harry…” You stand up. “Walking up a mountain at a leisurely pace is a lot different than zipping down a snowy mountain.”

“So you’ll stick to the bunny trails.” He shrugs and stands up as well. “God, you’re gonna look so sexy in all that gear.”

“Yeah, the helmet hair is gonna be a major turn on.” You roll your eyes.

“Fuck, I better leave before I get a stiffy just thinking about it.” He winks at you and steps out as you shake your head at him.

“Moron.” You laugh to yourself as you sit back down at your desk. You chew on your bottom lip and text Nora immediately.

//

Saturday rolls around, and you meet up with everyone at the ice arena to go ice skating. Afternoon free skate was something a lot of community members went to, not so much the college students. You smile when you see Harry inside helping Andy and Caroline lace up their skates.

“Hi, Y/N!” Andy says, waving at you.

“Hi.” You sit down on the bench next to Andy and kick your boots.

“Alright, you two are all set, go on.” Harry smiles at Andy and Caroline.

They stand up and hold hands as they walk over to the entrance for the ice. Harry looks up at you and you have grin on your face.

“What?”

“Gonna lace my skates for me too, Daddy?” You bat your lashes at him and his cheeks flush.

“Don’t be a brat.” He mutters as he stands to sit next to you. “And if you really need help I will, but I’m done crouching.” He pulls your leg between his once you get the skates on. You’re almost mesmerized by watching his strong hands pull the laces nice and tight. “Next.” He says as you switch legs. “Your hat’s cute.”

“Thanks, it’s one of my favorites.”

“Your hair looks pretty with it like that.” He mumbles as he finishes your laces. You bite your lip and lean in close to him.

“I’ll tell you a secret.” You whisper and his eyes flick to your eyes. “You don’t need to butter me up, you’re gonna get laid later.”

You hadn’t been over much in the last few days so you could get some work done, and you knew Harry was missing you physically. You just catch his pupils widen from your words.

“Is it such a crime for a guy to compliment his girlfriend?” He scoffs, trying to play it cool.

“Not at all.” You peck his lips and lean back so he can stand up. He puts his hands out for you and you stand. “Whoa.”

“Alright?”

“Yeah, just don’t let go of me.” You clutch at his shoulders.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Andy and Caroline were happily skating around like it was nothing. It seemed like they were racing each other. Harry was happy to see them having such a good time. He gets you gliding on the ice, but your hands stay in his.

“Do you know how to roller skate? You just move your legs the same way.”

“That’s on pavement with wheels, not blades on ice.” You say as you look down.

“I’ve got an idea, hang onto my hips and I’ll lead you around.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

He turns around, and you grip onto his love handles (let’s face it, Harry has no hips), and he starts moving forward while you just glide along. You giggle here and there because it really is a lot of fun. It was also impressive that he didn’t seem tired just pulling you along.

“Your dad and Y/N are really cute.” Caroline says to Andy.

“Huh?” He looks over at the two of you. Your arms were now just wrapped around Harry’s neck from behind and he had to lean down a bit because he was so much taller than you. You were laughing really hard. “Yeah, they are.” Andy shakes his head. “They’re really goofy.”

“You’re goofy too.” She nudges his shoulder. “You always make me laugh.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, you’re, like, super funny.”

“I am, aren’t I?” He smirks and it makes her laugh. “Come on.” He takes her hand and they continue to skate around the perimeter of the rink.

“Y/N, you’re starting to choke me.” Harry says and you let go of him.

“And here I was thinking you liked that, my bad.”

“Y/N.” He pulls you to the side as you laugh. “If Andy ever heard you, I-“

“Relax, he’s a little preoccupied.” You nod over to him and Caroline skating in a circle, holding hands and laughing. Harry looks at them and then you, and you kiss his cold nose.

“I’m gonna help you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…” He has you face forward and he put his hands on your hips (because you actually have hips), and he pushes you forward. “It’ll be like teaching a kid to ride a bike, just glide one foot at time with me.”

“Okay, but don’t let go like a parent would while teaching a kid to learn how to a ride a bike, I’ll never forgive you. All trust between us would be gone.”

“Okay, okay, Jesus.”

You end up getting the hang of it enough where you and Harry and can just hold hands and skate around. You stay close to the walls, but still, you’re doing it.

“Hey, Dad?” Andy says, skating over to you both. “Can I have some money for hot chocolate? We’re gonna take a break.”

“Sure.” He reaches into his pocket for his wallet, and takes out ten dollars for Andy. “Figured we could go downtown for a slice after, so don’t fill up.”

“Alright! Thanks.”

You sort of wished you could just pull Harry in for a kiss, and even make out with him, but you couldn’t with all the families around. You’d just have to wait. It doesn’t stop you from kissing his cheek every so often though. Harry didn’t mind one bit, he loved it when you were a little more affectionate in public.

“I told Andy you were in for the ski trip, by the way.” He mentions nonchalantly.

“Oh? Is he excited?”

“Very, he nearly squealed.” He chuckles. “I’ll tell Paige Friday when she comes to pick him up.”

“Why not just text her?”

“Eh.” He shrugs. “It can wait. I don’t really feel the need to chat with her all the time, you know?”

“Right, makes sense.”

Your ankles were killing you by the time you got your skates off, but you didn’t let on about it because everyone else seemed fine. You follow Harry downtown in your car to the pizza place, and sit in the booth with the kids while he gets all the food.

“Andy, why don’t you go help your dad carry everything over?”

“Okay.” He slides out and you smile as he does so. “Did you have fun with him earlier?” You ask Caroline.

“Yeah! I always have fun with Andy. He’s really nice.”

“I’m glad you both get along so well.”

“Me too, I was sort of hoping he’d ask me to be his girlfriend, I was so excited when he did.”

“I know he was excited to ask you.”

Harry and Andy come over with four slices of pizza, and a liter of diet and plastic cups. Harry snatches some napkins as well before sliding in next to you. The table was quiet as you all ate. It dawns on you that maybe you and Harry should have sat in a different booth to give the kids some more privacy, but it would look weird now to get up and move.

“Do they have free skate like that a lot?” Caroline asks.

“Yeah! Even throughout the summer since it’s an indoor rink.” Harry says.

“Good to know, I bet my sisters would wanna go sometime.”

“What grades are they all in?” You ask.

“My oldest sister, Emma, is a senior, and I think she’s planning on going to the university for school next year. My parents even said she could live there so she could get the full experience. And then my other sisters, Sophie and Charlotte are twins, they’re sophomores. I was sort of a surprise.” She giggles.

“Most kids are.” Harry says with a smile. “Good surprises though.” He leans forward to pinch Andy’s cheek and Andy swats his hand away immediately.

“That’s exciting that Emma wants to come to our school. I think we have a great curriculum across the board.” You say and the kids just blink at you. “Um, we have some great professors is all I mean.”

After pizza, you tell Harry you’ll meet him back at his place since he needed to bring Caroline home. Andy walks her to her door and they hug goodbye.

“I had a lot of fun today, Andy.”

“Me too. Um, we were thinking of going to that pottery place where you can’t paint stuff sometime. Is that something you think you’d wanna do?” He rubs the back of his neck.

“Definitely.” She smiles and hugs him again. This time she lingers and gives him a light peck on the cheek. “See you Monday.”

“Yeah…see you Monday.”

Harry saw the whole thing, and he was trying not to laugh at his wide eyed son as he came back to the car.

“Did you see?”

“I did.” Harry says as he backs out of the driveway.

“She kissed my cheek.”

“It was very nice of her.”

Andy presses his fingers where she had kissed him.

“Should I have done it to her?”

“Only if you felt like it.”

“I didn’t think she was gonna…I mean…wow.” He sighs happily. “Wait until I tell Brandon.”

You were inside the house already, reading something on your phone on the couch as you waited for them. You look up when you hear the door open. Andy’s face was flushed, but he had a smile on his face. He goes right to his room and closes his door.

“What happened?” You ask as Harry plops down next to you.

“Got a little smooch on the cheek, and now he needs to discuss the whole thing with Brandon.”

“How cute!” You pout. “Sorry I missed it.”

“I was really cute. She’s smooth, she went in for another hug and pecked him.”

“Ah, so he walked her to the door?”

“Course he did, I didn’t raise a degenerate.” Harry scoffs and you laugh. You snuggle up to him as he puts an arm around you.

“No, you certainly didn’t.” Harry kisses the top of your head and flips the TV on.

You were itching for some true alone time with Harry, so around eight you tell them both that you’re a little tired, and that you were going to turn in early. Harry watches as you go down the hall to his room.

“Andy, uh, why don’t you watch TV on your laptop in your room?”

“Why?”

“Because the noise from the TV could keep Y/N up. In fact, I might turn in early too. All the fun today really tuckered me out.”

“Whatever.” Andy shrugs and gets up to go to his room.

Harry plays it cool, not wanting to seem too eager, as he walks slowly behind him into his own room. He walks in and sees you just laying on the bed scrolling on your phone. He locks the door and comes over to you.

“You don’t look like you’re going to bed.”

“I just said that to get you to come in here, glad you picked up on the hint.” You set your phone down, and he takes his glasses off. The second he’s on the bed you’re straddling him. “Where’s Andy?”

“I told him to go watch TV on his computer.”

You grin and lean down to kiss him. You suck on his top lip first and then his bottom. His hands slide down to your ass, and he tries to get his hands inside your jeans to untuck your shirt, but he gives you a wedgie by accident.

“Oh! Stop!” You sit up.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m wearing a fucking bodysuit.”

“Oh shit, sorry.” He chuckles. “I was gonna say your shirt’s really stuck in there.”

“I wanna kiss for a bit before we get naked, is that okay?”

“Yeah.” He smiles and cups your cheek, bringing you back down to him.

You lick in his mouth and roll your hips down on his. His hands splay across your back as he keeps you close. You kiss along his jaw, and sponge kisses to his neck. You know you can sink your teeth in, so you just lick and suck gently. He moans softly as you grind against him.

“Y/N.” He groans. “Can we get naked now?”

//

Friday evening Paige swings by to pick up Andy for the weekend. She comes in to not be out in the cold. You were hanging out in some sweats since you couldn’t wait to change after you got home from work.

“Hi, Y/N.” Paige smiles.

“Hi, how are you?”

“I’m good, thanks. Ready to go?” She says to Andy as he comes out with his duffle.

“Mhm, hi, Mum.” He gives her a quick hug.

“Hi, honey.”

“So, Paige, uh, Y/N’s gonna join us in a few weeks up at the cabin.” Harry says as he walks closer to her with his hands in his pockets.

“Oh, that’s great! Y/N, you’re gonna have so much fun. We ski up at Cranmore, it’s a fantastic mountain.”

“I’ll take your word for it.”

“I’ll tell Noah and Rachel the second I get home.”

“What’s Gram gonna do while we’re there?” Andy asks.

“Auntie Allie and Uncle Ned are gonna come stay with her. She’ll be all taken care of.”

Andy nods and says goodbye to you and Harry before going out to the car.

“Any news on the girlfriend? Still going well?”

“She kissed him on the cheek last Saturday.”

“Oh my.” Paige chuckles. “Have you had a little chat with him yet? I really don’t wanna be the one to do it.”

“We’ve chatted, yeah.” Harry nods. “Mostly on asking before touching, that sort of thing, being respectful. I can’t go fully in depth with him yet, it’ll all go over his head I think.”

“I’m nervous about sticky sheets.” She whispers.

“Hasn’t happened here yet unless he’s gotten up before me to do his own laundry. Think we’re a ways away from that.”

“Oh, thank god.” She sighs with relief. “Okay, I’m headed out. Have a good weekend.” She turns to leave. “Oh! Happy almost birthday.”

“Thanks.”

“I’ll have some things for you Sunday when you come to get him. Rachel’s outdone herself for your gift.”

“I’m looking forward to it. Have a good weekend with him.”

“Thanks, bye, Y/N!” She waves off as she leaves.

Harry comes over to lounge on the couch and opens his arms for to come to him. You crawl up his body and settle on his chest.

“Still feeling a little yucky?” He asks. You had caught a little cold after ice skating last week.

“Just a little, but this helps a lot.” You nuzzle into his chest and he rubs your back.

“We don’t have to go out tomorrow night if you don’t feel up to it…”

“No! It’s your birthday weekend, we’re going out, don’t you worry about that. I’m sure I’ll feel better, baby.”

“Okay, just know there’s no pressure. M’only turning thirty-three.” He shrugs. “Remember when you got me flowers last year?”

“Yeah.” You chuckle.

“I think that was when I knew I really fucking liked you.”

“Oh stop.”

“I’m serious, it was the sweetest thing a colleague had ever done for me.”

“Maybe we need some new colleagues then.” You both laugh at that.

“And you brought me some coffee that morning too. I think I was able to keep those flowers alive for a couple of weeks. Tried to anyways.” He kisses the top of your head.

“You and your little budding crush.”

“Hey, it’s better than, ‘well, I was having sex with this guy and I thought of you to get off, so that’s how I knew I like you, Harry’.” You sit up slowly and glare at him while his smile grows. You huff and get off of him. “Oi, where are you going?” He chuckles.

“To the loveseat where I can curl up alone.” You snatch the blanket off the back of the couch and wrap it around yourself before sitting on the loveseat.

“Don’t be like that.”

“Nope, you ruined the moment.”

“It’s funny when you think about it.”

“I’d prefer not to, thanks.” You roll your eyes.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry, alright? I was just teasing.”

“You’re always just teasing.” You say in a monotone voice.

Harry gets up from the couch and scoops you up from the loveseat before sitting down with you in his lap.

“There we are.” He says, kissing your temple.

“You’re annoying.”

“Too bad you’re stuck with me, huh?”

“Oh, am I?” You raise an eyebrow at him.

“Yup.” He smiles. “I’m afraid so.”

“Fine.” You sigh. “Can’t fight you much on it when you can so easily man-handle me.”

“Exactly.”

You chuckle and snuggle back into him. He plays with your hair and rubs your back until you fall asleep. It was some much needed rest.

//

Saturday morning you got up before Harry, somehow, and took a very long shower to clear out your sinuses. You had some work you needed to get done before dinner later, and he knew this, so once you’re out and your hair is dry, you go up to the loft to get some things done while he continues to snooze. Harry’s actual birthday is Monday so you didn’t feel too bad not spending every little second with him.

When you smell coffee from downstairs, you know he’s emerged. You hear the creaks of the stairs, and you turn to look at him.

“Hi, baby.” He says, holding two mugs. “Coffee?”

“Please, thank you. You don’t mind I’m using your space?” You take the mug from him and take a careful sip.

“What’s mine is yours, you know that.” He yawns as he goes over to sit on the loveseat.

“Are you attached to all the furniture in this house?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I couldn’t help myself, I was looking on the Bernie and Phil’s site, and saw these nice couches and loveseat sets. They all recline and there’s USB ports to charge your phones and stuff. Might be fun to go looking one of these days.”

“Sure, we could do that. The couch in the basement is really old, so I could put the furniture from the living room down there. I’d like to keep that couch because it’s a pull out.”

“That’s an excellent idea. It’ll be like upcycling in a way.”

“I’m planning to do some painting over our spring break. Andy’s been nagging me about the rooms being too dark or something.”

“Because they are. I was talking with him about it last month, and we both think a light grey for the living room would be perfect.”

“Are you suddenly telling me I have no taste?”

“No! You have taste…it’s just surprisingly manly.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” He chuckles as he sips his coffee.

“It’s just an oddly masculine home for such a…metro guy.”

“Metro guys are well sculpted and care too much about their appearances.”

“Harry, if even one of your nails is chipped you sit down and redo all of them, and you’re always so put together with what you wear. All I’m saying is, you would think a macho guy was living here, not that it bothers me.”

“I guess I just didn’t really put a ton of thought into the interior.” He shrugs. “I focused more on getting the outside of the home to look nice, and there were some structural things I had to take care of too.”

“Alright, so we’ll put up some fresh paint to liven the place up a bit, nothing too drastic. I think you’ll have fun looking at things with me. Just don’t say yes to every little thing I like, I don’t wanna takeover the house.”

“Sounds like a plan to me, darling.” He smiles and grabs one of his books to read. “Is it okay if I sit up here with you while you work?”

“I’d like that.”

You turn back to face the computer as he gets cozy with his book. You and Harry had become quite domestic, and you loved it. You loved being able to just be around someone in a comfortable silence. He told you once that the sound of you typing was pretty calming to him and he could concentrate on his book or whatever else he was doing just fine.

“It’s been an hour, you need to take a break.” He says to you.

“Harry.” You hum warningly.

“Your wrists will thank me later, come on, let’s have a proper breakfast.”

“I don’t wanna eat a lot since we’re eating out tonight.” You say, still typing away.

“Hit save, now.” You look at him and laugh before continuing to type.

“Was that supposed to be threatening?”

“Yes.”

“Mm, and how’d that work out for you?” He sighs as grips the back of the chair to wheel you away. “Hey!”

He reaches forward on the mouse and clicks save before looking at you.

“How’d that work out for you?” He smirks. “Come on we can have some eggs and toast or something.”

“Okay.”

You and Harry work together to make breakfast.

“What time are we going out tonight?”

“I thought we could be there for seven.” You shrug. “You’re still good with going to the Thai place?”

“Definitely, you know I’ll never say no to going there.”

Harry still had no idea everyone from the department would be joining, which made you very happy. It wasn’t necessarily a surprise party, but you thought it would be fun to get everyone together. A special version of game night.

“Great.” You smile. “Are you going to do any work today?”

“Nah, I have a bit of time before I need to work on my next manuscript, so I’m giving myself a break. I think in March I’ll start up on it. I’m even caught up on my grading.” He leans back in his chair and looks around. “I wouldn’t mind doing some work to the kitchen. I’d like to get some new cabinets.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, like, how do you think white cabinets would look with a colored backsplash? I like the granite that has, like, grey and mint in it, you know what I mean?” You nod. “Course that means I’d have to re-stain the floors in here. Can’t have dark floors with such a light kitchen.”

“What you’re talking about is very modern, which could look nice in a ranch.” You pucker your lips to think on it. “I personally love a white kitchen, it just takes more work to keep it clean.”

“I just think it could look really sleek, you know?”

“I agree.”

“It’s nice having someone to bounce ideas around with. I feel like I didn’t do much before because I couldn’t decide on my own.” He sounds a little somber, and then he clears his throat. “Well, if you’re gonna be working I might go to the gym for a bit. Would you mind?”

“No, babe, go right ahead.” You smile.

“Cool.” He gets up and clears the plates from the table before going to his room to change.

Harry liked having you in his home, and he liked that it was slowly becoming this shared space. He wished you’d just move in altogether, but he respected why you wanted to wait. He left things open so that if you decided to move in earlier than July then that would be perfectly fine, and you knew it. He was just grateful you didn’t want to find a different house because he quite liked this one. Just as you’re cleaning up the dishes he comes out in his workout clothes.

“I’ll see you later.” He says, kissing your cheek.

“Bye, babe.” You watch him leave, and then you had back upstairs to get some more work done.

//

Harry was dressed and right to go by quarter of seven. He was wearing this pair of pink dress pants, which looked exceptional on him particularly in the area of his ass, and white button up. You were still getting ready, wanting to look your best for him.

“Okay, I’m ready.” You smile as you step into the living room where he was puttering about. You were in a short green dress. He looks you up and down.

“Hmm.”

“What?”

“I can’t tell if those are real stockings or if you’ve got that garter on again.”

“I guess you’ll find out when we get back.” You wink at him and grab the keys and your coat.

“You look lovely, baby.”

“Thanks, you don’t look too shabby yourself.”

“Are you sure we need to go anywhere?” He puts his hands on your hips and gives you a squeeze.

“So eager.”

“You didn’t let me touch you all day!” He whines.

“I was busy!” You laugh. “You can have me all you want later, let’s go.”

You drive Harry to the restaurant and pull into a parking space. You hold his hand as you walk in, and tell the hostess you’re ‘the last of the Styles party’. Harry gives you a confused look as the hostess leads you to the back of the restaurant where the private dining area was.

“Hey, there he is!” Andre says, and Harry’s face grows into the brightest smile.

“Hey!” He says.

There was Janette, Andre, Mateo, Sandra, Lisa, and Lucas. The whole gang made it just for Harry.

“Thought it would be fun to have dinner with everyone, what do you think?” You ask him as you shrug your coat off.

“Think you’re brilliant as usual.”

You all sit down at the large round table provided. Drinks were ordered all around as were many appetizers and dishes to share. You wished there was a bar to go dancing at in the area, but then again your colleagues don’t need to know you like that. If the mood felt right you could always go to the bar you and Janette usually go to.

Harry keeps his hand on your thigh most of the night. He was having a great time, which made you happy. It was always a good time with this group. Without fail someone would make you laugh so hard you’d cry. Harry’s hand was distracting, though, you could tell he was almost searching for something. He really wanted to know if you were wearing standard tights or not. You were, but that doesn’t mean you weren’t wearing something cute underneath. You assume he’s figured it out when he feels your thigh enough to not feel any bare skin.

“Any special plans with Andy for your birthday, H?” Sandra asks.

“We’ll do cake Monday night most likely. He’s got a basketball game, so that’ll be fun.”

“How’s his little girlfriend doing?” Janette asks.

“She’s good, took ‘em ice skating last weekend. You should have seen it, they were pretty cute.”

“I can’t believe kids so young are dating.” Mateo says.

“It’s not real dating.” Harry says. “If it lasts longer than a couple of months I’ll be shocked. Kids like to act so grown up, you know?”

“It’s true, my daughter had a ‘boyfriend’ in seventh grade for, like, a week. I flipped out over nothing.” She laughs. “Eighth grade is when it gets serious, though, just a heads up.”

“That’s when they’re really teenagers.” Lisa says. “Will Andy be fourteen when he goes into eighth?”

“Yup.” Harry nods. “I’m dreading the true teen years. He’s already starting to get snippy about things, I’m trying just to live in the moment and enjoy him while he’s still sweet.”

“Does he ever get snippy with you, Y/N?” Andre asks.

“Her?!” Harry says before you have a chance to answer. “These two are in cahoots. He always listens to her.”

“That’s only because he sees me more as a friend. I don’t think he really sees me as a symbol of authority…” You say. “I’m sure if I really told him what to do he’d give me some bull about not being his mom or something.” You sip your drink.

“Think he’d only do that if he was really having an episode, don’t worry.” Harry gives your thigh a squeeze.

“And he does get snippy with me, but I try to bring things down to his level, and we usually come to some sort of compromise. He’s easy enough to read.”

“Just wait until he’s a hormonal teenager.” Sandra says. “He’ll be less easy to figure out.” She laughs.

“My kids are at that stage where they’re telling me things they used to get away with.” Lisa chimes in with a chuckle. “It’s best to do it over wine, but it’s pretty funny.”

Lisa tells a few funny stories about her kids to the table, and his has everyone roaring. Overall it was a good night. You had some cupcakes made, and everyone sings happy birthday to Harry. He blows out the candles and kisses your cheek before taking a cupcake. You both thank everyone for coming, and he can’t stop looking at you in the car on the ride home.

“Why are you staring, hm?” You side eye him.

“I just think you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my life, and I feel really lucky that by some chance our paths crossed.”

“Oh.” You swallow. “I wasn’t expecting such an articulate answer.” He hums his response and takes one of your hands in his and kisses your knuckles.

“Thank you for putting all that together, it was nice to be out with friends tonight.”

“My pleasure, baby.”

“So…what do you have planned for when we get back?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like, well, sometimes you like to get freaky with me.” He smirks.

“I keep all my freaky shit at home, you know that. The last thing Andy needs to find is a pair of handcuffs or my special candle.”

“Special candle?”

“You haven’t her yet.” You grin. “I was thinking Valentine’s Day could be at my place for that reason.”

“What, what makes it special?”

“It’s for dripping wax on people. It feels really good, you have no idea. Well, you will, I mean, if you want to.”

“What are you gonna do when you move in?”

“I’ll have to fucking lock the drawer, won’t I?” You both laugh at that. “I don’t really have anything special planned for tonight, just though you could do whatever you felt like.”

“You realize that means I’ll just be taking my time then.”

“Yes, and I’m willing to suffer to please you.” You pull into the garage and lean towards him so your lips ghost over his. “Just wanna be your good girl.”

You pull away before he can kiss you, and you giggle as you unbuckle your seatbelt. He chases you into the house, and into his bedroom before he catches you, wrapping his arms around you from behind and picking you up.

“Don’t make fun of me for saying that, it was in the heat of the moment.”

“Mm, a very heated moment.” You smile up at him. “I’m not making fun, I liked it.”

“Oh.” He clears his throat and lets you go. “Alright then.”

“Unzip me?”

His fingers skim the zipper and drag it down your back. You had a black lace bra on with your tights. The dress drops to the floor and he squints at your ass. You look over your shoulder and smirk.

“What?”

“These are really opaque, can’t even see what panties you got on.”

“Oh, well, that’s because I’m not wearing any.” You wiggle your bum at him. “Consider it one of your gifts to unwrap.”

“You need to stop spoiling me.” He says as he unclasps your bra.

“You deserve to be spoiled, Harry.”

He tugs you to his chest and kisses on your shoulder, your neck, and then your other shoulder. He sinks his teeth into your right shoulder and your head rolls back. One of his hands drifts up to your left breast, and his other hand cups your center.

“H-Harry.” You breathe. “Just take them off.”

He hums as he sponges kisses up your neck and he now uses both of his hands to grope and knead your breasts.

“Get on the bed for me.”

“Back or stomach?”

“Your back, please?”

You nod and get on the bed, propping yourself up on your elbows to watch him get undressed. Once he was only left in his boxers, he joins you. He hooks his fingers into your tights, and drags them down your legs. You lift your hips up to help him, and he tosses them somewhere once they’re all the way off. He leans forward to kiss your lips, three quick smooches, and then he opens your legs. He licks his lips and gets comfortable on his stomach in front of you, then he licks a flat stripe up your center to your clit. He does this a few times.

“M’surprised you didn’t want me on my knees for you.” You say with a shaky breath.

“Monday’s my actual birthday, save that thought for then, would you?”

You giggle and nod as he continues to lick and suck at your folds.

“Consider it filed away, sir.” You salute him and he smirks at you.

“I love you so fucking much.” He chuckles against you.

“I love you-ah!”

Harry fucks into you with his tongue while his thumb rubs at your clit. Your hands fly to his hair and you tug harshly. He groans into you as he continues to lick and suck on your center. Before you know it, you’re being flipped over. Harry pulls your ass back by the hips, so you know to prop yourself up on your elbows and knees. Two of his fingers slide into you from behind while his mouth goes right for your other hole.

“Harry.” You moan out, egging him on more.

He pumps in and out of you, the tips of his fingers brushing your g-spot. You had to be dripping for him, you could feel it on your inner thighs. His teeth nip at one of your cheeks, and he feels you squeeze around his fingers.

“Getting close, baby?” He smirks.

“Y-Yeah, please don’t stop.” You pant.

His other hand comes around to rub your clit, and the combination of things working you had you tipping you over the edge. You clutch at the blankets on the bed while you cry out for him. He kisses on your back while he slowly retracts his fingers.

“Shit.” You breathe as you get up to grab a condom. “Get on your back.”

Harry grins and does as you say. You rip the foil packet open and roll it down his length before swinging your leg over him. You line yourself up and sink down, making you both moan. His hands run up your stomach to your breasts, and he kneads them while you adjust to his size. You start moving your hips around, not exactly in circles, but around. In that song WAP, Megan Thee Stallion says she spells her name while she rides it, and you had heard the song for the first time in a while the other day while working, so it gave you the idea to try it for yourself. Harry could see the concentration on your face.

“What are you doing?” He chuckles. “Feels good, but what are-“

“I’m, oh fuck, I’m spelling my name.”

“You know I do the same thing when I eat you out…”

“Really?”

“Yeah, it helps me concentrate.”

“Well, aren’t we just two peas in a pod.” You chuckle and run your hands up and down his chest. You plant them flat on his pecs and take a breath.

You raise yourself almost completely off of him before slamming back down. He grunts and grips your hips, but he knows to just let you continue on your own. You keep doing this to build a rhythm until you’re essentially bouncing up and down on him.

“Can I move?” He asks through gritted teeth.

“Yeah, baby, move with me.”

He yanks you down to him so you’re chest to chest, and then his hands slide to your ass to get a really good grip while his essentially moves you on and off his hard cock. You sponge kisses on his neck and collar bone while you move along with him. Your clit was rubbing against him in the perfect way, not to mention the angle of his dick inside you was perfectly hitting your g-spot. You were moaning right into his ear, and it was driving him nuts. He loved knowing how good he could make you feel.

“Y/N.” He groans. “Tell me how it feels.”

“Soo good, Harry, so fucking good.” Your nails claw at his shoulders. “You’re the, oh my god, you’re the best I’ve ever had.”

“Shit, shit, shit.” Harry spills into the condom, but tries to keep you moving so you can get yours. You really caught him by surprise.

You squeeze around him and come undone, moaning out, and moving your lips over his. He sucks your bottom lip and it makes your eyes roll back. He slowly lifts you off his now sensitive prick. He discards the condom and lays next to you with a big smile on his face.

“What?” You coo as you push his hair back off his forehead.

“Can I tell you a secret?”

“Of course.”

“You’re the best I’ve ever had too.” He rubs your side up and down soothingly.

“You’re just saying that because I said it.” You mutter.

“No, Y/N, I really mean it. I’ve never wanted someone all the time like this. I mean, usually I’m pretty physically affectionate in my relationships, but…” He moves some of the matted hair away from your face. “I can’t explain it, I feel like we really have this connection, you know?”

“Yeah, like we just…fit.”

“Exactly.” He sighs and leans in to peck your lips.

Once you both get cleaned up and settled into bed, you work up the courage to ask Harry something that’s been on your mind.

“Baby?” You say.

“Mm?” He was wrapped around you already, face nestled into your hair.

“Do you think once spring rolls around, we could do another weekend in Boston? My friends are dying to meet you.”

“Oh, you mean Janette isn’t your only friend?” He teases and he scoff at him. “I’d love to do that. Suppose that’s one of the perks of Andy going to his mum’s every other weekend. We can just plan it for one of those.”

“I’d like to take him into town some time. We could take the bus down for the day and take him to the aquarium or something.”

“He’d love that, honestly. Oh! We could bring Brandon along, really make a day of it. I feel like they haven’t been hanging out as much because of Caroline…he needs to know that there’s a balance with friends and significant others.”

“Maybe he’s clingy just like his daddy.” You chuckle, and Harry pinches your hip.

“You know the more you say that the more I’m gonna start thinking you wanna call me that for real.”

“I don’t, I just think it’s funny to joke about. My best friend Nora and I joke about daddy all the time.”

“Oh really?” Harry chuckles into your hair.

“Mhm, we came up with a list of celebrities and made this fake awards show called the daddy awards when we were younger. We were texting at like one in the morning, and I was trying so hard not to laugh because I didn’t wanna wake up my roommate.”

“Tell me more about your friends, I wanna know everything.”

“Right now?”

“Mhm, I’m all ears.”

“Okay, well, there’s Nora, Mark, Claudia, and Darcy…”

//

  You decide to stay back at the house when Harry goes to pick up Andy from Paige’s. You didn’t know if he’d need to go inside to do presents with Rachel and Noah, and you weren’t really in the mood to see Lydia again since you told her off.

“Happy birthday, Uncle Harry!” Rachel beams at him as he enters the home.

“Thank you, sweetheart.” She hands him a card.

“Rach, give him a second to come through the door.” Noah chuckles. “Happy birthday.” He shakes Harry’s hand.

“Thanks, mate.”

Andy comes down the stairs with all of his things, and Paige comes out with some other gifts.

“I’ll just put those in the car, and open them tomorrow if that’s alright…” Harry says.

“Of course. It’s mostly some new sk-“

“Mum, no!” Rachel yells. “It needs to be a surprise.” She pouts.

“Okay, okay.” Paige chuckles.

Lydia comes into the living room with her arms crossed.

“Bye everyone.” Andy says as he goes through the rounds of hugs. “Love you, Gram.”

“I love you too, precious.” She kisses his forehead and smiles. “So, where’s your girlfriend, Harry?”

“She stayed back to get dinner started.” He says as he grabs the gifts from Paige. “I’ll tell her you asked for her, though, Lydia, that’s so nice of you.” Harry smiles at her, and then looks at Andy. “Ready?”

“Mhm.”

They both head out and get in the car quickly. Harry rolls his eyes to himself, and then takes a deep breath before driving off.

“How was your weekend?” He asks Andy.

“Good.” He shrugs. “Gram took me out for lunch yesterday.”

“That’s great! I’m glad you’re getting to spend so much time with her.”

“You are?”

“Yeah…I mean, just because she and I don’t exactly get along doesn’t mean that I don’t want you spending time with her. I think it’s important to do things with your grandparents if you’re able.”

“She took me and Rachel with her. We went to Friendly’s, it was actually pretty fun.”

“That’s good to hear.”

“How was your weekend?”

“Really good, Y/N got the department to take me out to dinner last night. It was nice hanging out with friends.”

“Dad?”

“Yeah?”

“I sort of have a…problem…”

“With what?”

“Um, well, I guess there’s a Valentine’s Day dance in a couple of weeks and I don’t know what to do.”

“They have dances for you so young?”

“I guess it’s a sixth through eighth grade thing. Last year they just had that craft party for us, remember?”

“Oh yeah, I came in to help for that I think. So what’s your problem?”

“I have nothing to wear! I don’t wanna wear my suit, it’s too formal.”

“Okay, so I’ll take you shopping.” Harry shrugs. “Are you gonna ask Caroline to be your valentine and all that?”

“Do I have to? She’s already my girlfriend.”

“You definitely need to because she’s your girlfriend. You need to ask her to the dance too.”

“I wanna go with my friends too…”

“You can! Tell you what, invite everyone over to take pictures at our place.”

“Really?”

“Sure, I used to love doing that with my friends.”

“What if I’m the only one with an actual date, won’t that be weird?”

“Not unless you make it weird. It should be fine.”

“When can we go shopping?”

“Let’s go next weekend, dance isn’t for two weeks right?”

“Yeah, it’s on a Friday. I told Mum already…Brandon said he might have a sleepover that night.”

“That sounds like a great weekend then.”

Harry gets Andy home to you, and they both take a big whiff of what you’re making.

“Whatever you’re cooking smells really good, Y/N.” Andy says.

“Thanks! I made butternut squash soup.” You smile. “It’s so col out today, and I figured it would be good leftovers for later in the week too.”

“I see my cook once eat twice policy is starting to rub off on you.” Harry kisses your cheek. “Only took you eight months, but I’ll let it slide.”

“Mhm.” You roll your eyes. “Go wash up.”

The three of you eat dinner, and Andy tells you about how he’ll need to go shopping for the dance. He goes to his room after dinner to work on a card for Caroline.

The next morning, you grin when you hear Harry’s alarm go off. Usually he would get up to do yoga in the loft so you could sleep, but this morning you immediately roll over on top of him. He chuckles slightly as you start kissing on him.

“What are you doing?” He whispers.

“Happy birthday.” You whisper back.

You stay under the covers as you work your way down his body. You may not like Harry’s head between your legs first thing in the morning, but he had absolutely no problem with it. He moves the blanket so he could see your head. He knew you’d be too cold if he took it away completely.

You lick over his tip and around his shaft before sinking down on him. He expects you to move, but when he looks down at you, you’re looking up at him, waiting.

“Are you serious?”

“Mhm.”

“God, I love you.”

He gently grips your jaw in both of his hands and starts fucking your mouth. He grunts and groans, especially when you choke around him in the beginning. You widen your throat as much as you can as you relax around him. It wasn’t something you did often, but you knew he’d really appreciate it this morning. Your nails dig into his thighs, and your eyes flutter closed as you concentrate on breathing through your nose.

“Fuck, baby.” He moans. “So good, so fucking good.”

You knew he was trying to be quiet in case Andy happened to get up early and was roaming around the house. You would typically keep morning sex in the bathroom if Andy was home just out of respect. But it was Harry’s birthday, after all.

“I’m close, Y/N, just hold on.” He pants, and you appreciate his courtesy. He knew your jaw had to be getting tired, and your throat had to be getting sore. “Fuck, I’m gonna come.” He grits his teeth and bites into his bottom lip harshly to keep quiet as he shoots his load down your throat.

Your eyes are watery, and you’re about ready to start gagging, but he lifts your mouth off him, and you can breathe properly again. You swallow everything and smile at him.

“What a way to wake up, I feel dizzy.” He chuckles and brings you down to him, holding you close. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” It comes out raspy, and for once he doesn’t tease you. You nuzzle into his neck and kiss on him for a bit before letting him get up.

“Do you wanna do some yoga with me?”

“No, I think I’ll take my shower while you do that.”

“Alright, love.” He kisses you and you both get up to start your day.

You get Andy up and get breakfast going while Harry gets in the shower. You even get the pasta boiled and set in the glass pan with the sauce for tonight’s baked ziti.

“Happy birthday, Dad!” Andy exclaims.

“Thanks, buddy.” Harry looks around the kitchen in awe. “You…got everything together already?”

“Yeah.” You shrug and hand him a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast.

“Thank you.” He gives you a soft smile. “And thanks for getting this one up.” He nods towards Andy.

“She’s nice than you, she doesn’t take my blanket away.” Andy sticks his tongue out at Harry, and Harry sticks his tongue back at him.

“Alright, boys.” You say and sit down. “I would prefer to not gag while eating my oatmeal, thank you.”

“He started it.” Andy says.

“Well, I’m finishing it, how’s that grab ya?” You say, and Harry bursts out laughing. You look behind you to see him wheezing.

“I’m sorry, it was the accent that sent me!” He can barely catch his breath, and it makes Andy laugh too.

“Kay, bruv.” You say and stand up. “I’m going to work.”

“No, come on, don’t be like that. We can carpool.” He says, wiping his eyes.

“What does that even mean? ‘How’s that grab ya’?” Andy says.

“I don’t know, it’s just something my dad used to say to shut us up.” You shrug. “Seriously, can we get going?”

“Yeah.” Harry says. “You ready?” He says to Andy.

“Mhm.”

Harry drives everyone, and Andy hops out of the car to head into school.

“Okay, now that he’s gone, can you not do that again?”

“Do what?”

“Laugh at me when I’m being authoritative. How’s he supposed to take me seriously if you don’t?”

“You have to admit the way you said and phrased that was funny? And it’s not like he and I were having a legitimate argument. We were just palling around, you know?”

“Well, either way, can you not do that again? I felt a little…disrespected, Harry.”

“Oh.” He moves his hand to your thigh to give you a squeeze. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. I’m still getting used to all this, babe.”

“What?”

“Raising him with someone that’s right there. I mean, you helped with so much this morning, and it was such a relief. I hope you know how much I appreciate you.”

“You really see me as helping to raise him?”

“Well…yeah…I wouldn’t let just anyone tell him what to do. I trust your judgement with him, especially after how amazing you did alone with him for so long.”

“Oh…okay then.” You your hand over his and give it a little rub. “I mean, I know I’m not his mom or anything, but-“

“But at some point I’d like you to be his step-mom, so you’re valid here. I’ll try not to lose it like that again, okay?”

“Okay.” Your cheeks were red now. “Um, I suppose my tone was a little funny.”

“Just a little.” He smirks and takes your hand to kiss it. “I love how much you care about Andy, and I know it’s probably hard to tell your place in all of it sometimes.”

“Yeah, sometimes. It’s only been eight months between us, and I haven’t been a parent for almost twelve years like you have. I feel underqualified, if that makes sense.”

“Don’t.” He shakes his head. “You’re more than qualified, more so than anyone else I’ve tried to bring into his life, trust me.” He parks his car in the faculty lot and looks at you. “If I didn’t think you could handle him, the whole situation, I wouldn’t have dragged you into it, Y/N, no matter how much I liked you.”

“Well, I’m glad you did. Drag me along all you want.” You lean in enough that your noses touch and you peck his lips. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy before.”

“Me neither.”

//

Andy was waiting by his locker for Caroline. She would usually meet up with him at his so they could walk to homeroom together. He smiles when he sees her walking towards him.

“Morning, Andy.” She says, hugging him.

“Morning.” He smiles. “I, uh, have something for you…” He reaches into his backpack for the card he made her.

“You do?”

“Mhm, here.” It was pink and red and had glitter on it. Her eyes widen as she opens it. “I know it’s early to ask, but I just wanted to make sure you knew I wanted to go to the dance with you and all that.”

“Oh, Andy.” She smiles. “Of course I’ll be your valentine, and I’d love to go to the dance with you!” She throws her arms around him again and kisses his cheek. “This is so sweet, thank you.”

“Um, great! My dad said everyone could come to our house for pictures and stuff.”

“Do you think Tyler and Brandon will have dates?” She asks as they head to homeroom.

“I have no…oh you’ve got to be kidding me.”

“What?”

“Brandon’s talking with Molly at her locker.” He rolls his eyes. “Look at them! Jesus.”

“What’s so bad about that?”

“They were boyfriend and girlfriend at the beginning of the school year, but it didn’t work out. I hope he’s not getting back together with.”

“Why?”

“She was annoying, Caroline, you have no idea.”

They both sit in their seats. Andy lets Tyler know about the dance plans before Brandon sits down.

“Hey.” Brandon says with a smirk on his face. “Guess who has a date to the dance?”

“You are back with Molly.” Andy says with furrowed brows.

“Yeah, I’m giving it another go with her.” He shrugs. “Can’t really remember why we broke up in the first place.” It was a blatant lie, but Brandon wasn’t going to get into it with Andy right now.

“Good for you.” Andy mumbles. “My dad said everyone can come over for pictures before the dance…so I guess she can come too.”

“Thanks.” He smiles. “Still wanna sleep over after?”

“Yeah.”

“Tyler, you know Molly’s friend Alexis, right?”

“Yeah, why?”

“You could go with her if you want since Andy’s going with Caroline.”

“Sure! Sounds good to me.” Tyler shrugs.

Andy side eyes Brandon.

“What? You are going with your girlfriend to the dance, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, I asked her this morning. Don’t you think it’ll be awkward for Alexis to come to my house?”

“Please, all of that’s in the past. It’ll be fine, Andy, chill out.”

“You chill out.”

“I’m plenty chill. Cooler than a cucumber, actually.” Brandon sits back in his seat and crosses his arms behind his head.

“Good for you.” Andy mumbles and faces forward. Caroline turns around slightly to smile at him and he smiles back.

//

Harry’s birthday was good all around. He enjoyed all of the gifts he got from his family and friends. You got him a gift certificate to his favorite nail salon so he could get a spa manicure and pedicure at some point, and Andy got him a new face mask kit. He was extremely grateful. He loved having you there to sing happy birthday with Andy. He didn’t need to make much of a wish when he blew out his candles, he was already getting exactly what he wanted.

//

“No, Dad, that’s so ugly!” Andy was nearly in tears while he and Harry were shopping. You had gone home to get some work done, so you couldn’t be there, but Harry wished you were, he was beside himself.

“Since when do you not agree with my taste in clothes?!” Harry really didn’t want to be arguing with his son at a fucking Old Navy on a Saturday afternoon, but there they were. “You said you didn’t want to go to Macy’s because their clothes are too fancy, so you need to find something here.”

“Just let me go around the store myself!”

“Fine! Come get me when you’re ready to try things on.”

“I don’t need you for that either!”

“Yes you do! You’ll need a second opinion, and I have to do that thing where you tug at the pants to make sure you have room to grow in them.”

“No, I hate that.” He whines. “It’s embarrassing.”

“Every parent does it! I’m gonna go sit outside the dressing rooms. Go find some clothes.” Harry huffs and storms away from his son. He sits down rubs at his temples.

Harry: really wish you were shopping with us

You: why? What’s wrong?

Harry: he’s being a little brat! Suddenly the clothes I think would like nice on him are ugly

You: well of course they are, don’t you know how this works?

Harry: apparently not!

You: just let him pick out his clothes on his own

Harry: I am…

You: okay so it’ll sort itself out…I can try to come over later, maybe he can do a fashion show for me

Harry: no it’s okay, I know you have work to do

You: maybe tomorrow then…just try to get through it, you’ll laugh about it someday

Harry: someday can’t come soon enough

“See, these are the dress shirts I like.” Andy says as he comes up to Harry. “And no one wears nice slacks to school dances, they wear khakis…it’s just a valentine’s dance.”

“Go try it on, now.” Andy rolls his eyes and goes into the changing room. “And you better come out to show me or I’m not buying you a single thing.”

“Okay!” Andy slams the door shut and takes a deep breath.

He comes out to show Harry himself in a pair of khakis and a nice blue button up with the sleeves rolled up.

“Do you need a tie or anything?” Harry asks as he tugs on various parts of the clothes to make sure they fit properly. “How do these pants fit, can you move alright? Gotta make sure you can dance comfortably.” He tugs at the waist and Andy swats his hand away.

“Stop! They fit fine, Dad. Does someone do that to you when you try on clothes?!”

“I do it for myself, actually. I’m also done growing, as opposed to you. These could easily not fit in a month with the way you’re growing.”

“Well, they fit now, so-“

“You know what? Let’s get Mum’s opinion on this, come on.”

“What are you doing?!” Harry pushes Andy into the dressing room with him.

“I’m not gonna make a scene in front of some strangers, hold on.” He swipes his phone to FaceTime Paige, and has a growing smirk on his face.

“Dad, please!”

“Hold on, she should have a say in this.”

“Harry, why in the hell are you FaceTiming me?” She chuckles.

“Because our son is having a fashion dilemma, hold on.” He flips the camera on a very aggravated Andy. “What do you think of this for the valentine’s dance?”

“Oh! You look so handsome, honey! Do you need a tie?”

“No!” He pouts and crosses his arms.

“Turn around so I can see the back of the pants. Harry, did you tug on them?”

“I did. Go on, turn around so Mum can see the whole thing.”

Andy groans, but does as he’s told.

“Well, I think it would be great for the dance. I like the sleeves pushed up like that too, very cute.”

“Okay, we all agree on the outfit, can I have some privacy to change now?”

“Sure.” Harry says and leaves the dressing room. “Thanks, he’s driving me bananas.”

“Well, anytime you wanna embarrass him, I’m more than happy to help.” She laughs. “I’m good to come by Friday during the picture taking?”

“Of course. It’s his first real dance, after all.”

“You know,” Andy says, coming out of the dressing room. “you look like a real boomer walking around FaceTiming in public without any headphones in.” He smirks. “It’s rude.”

“He’s right, Har.”

“Shit, wouldn’t wanna look like a boomer now would I? Better go, Mum.”

“Talk to you later, Dad.”

Harry shoves his phone in his pocket and takes the clothes Andy wants up to the register.

“You have shoes, yeah?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, anything else you need?”

“No, I wanna go home now.”

“Andy…”

“That’ll be $45.20.” The young cashier says.

“You know what, I have a coupon on my phone, one second.” Harry gets his phone out again and shows the girl so she can scan it.

“Alright, your new total is $33.40.” She smiles.

“Excellent!” Harry inserts his card into the chip reader.

“It’s so nice of you to take your little brother shopping.”

“Oh, um, he’s not my…this is my son.”

“No way, you don’t look old enough to be a dad.” She flirts.

“That’s, uh, very nice of you to say.” Harry clears his throat and takes his card back. “You can just throw the receipt in the bag.”

“Sure thing.” She hands him the bag. “Have a nice day.”

“Dad, no offense, but you look way too old to be my older brother.” Andy laughs. “That girl must’ve been desperate for your number.”

“That girl was way too young to be flirting with me.” He shakes his head.

“Dad, I’m sorry if I was acting bratty in the store. I don’t know why I get like this…”

“You’re hormonal, and you’re at an age where everything I do is embarrassing.” Harry turns around to look at Andy. “It’s okay, we’re okay.” He smiles. “You’re gonna look really handsome in your new clothes.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

//

“Mum, please!” Andy swats her hands away because she wouldn’t stop pinching his cheeks.

“I can’t help it, you just look so handsome! My little baby, going to his first dance.”

“Better to let her act like this now before all your friends get here.” Harry says.

“Remind me again, what time am I picking you up from Brandon’s tomorrow?” Paige asks.

“Um, like ten probably.” He shrugs.

“Okay, Andy stand with Mum so I can take your picture.”

Andy rolls his eyes, but he poses with Paige nonetheless.

“I can take one of the three of you if you like.” You say.

“Oh, that’d be great, Y/N!” Paige says. “I’m so sad Noah couldn’t be here. Rachel’s school does a father-daughter dance for Valentine’s Day. She looked so precious in her dress.”

The three of them pose together.

“Can I have one with you two?” Andy says to you and Harry.

“Here, I’ll take it.” Paige takes your phone and snaps the photo. “Andy take one of just you and Dad and then one of you and Y/N.”

The doorbell rings, and Andy feels a flood of relief when he sees that it’s Brandon.

“Thank god, my parents are being super embarrassing.” Andy says to him.

“Mine are too. I had to take a picture with my mom.” Brandon groans.

“Me too!” Andy takes a step back to look at Brandon. “You, uh, you look nice.”

“Thanks, so do you.” They were both blushing, but the doorbell rings again, so it pulls their attention from each other.

It was Caroline, and Andy’s heart stopped. Her hair was half up, and it looked pretty with waves. She was wearing a simple blue dress. She and Andy hadn’t even talked about coordinating, they just did by accident.

“Great minds think alike, huh.” She blushes as she walks up to him.

“You…you look so pretty, Caroline.”

“Thank you.”

Brandon’s eyes were about ready to roll out of his head. Eventually Tyler, Alexis, and Molly all show up. All of the parents gather around to take a ton of pictures of everyone. Andy and Tyler get a photo just the two of them, as do all of the respective dates.

Paige takes Andy, Caroline, and Tyler in her car, and the others go with Brandon’s dad.

“They all looked so cute.” You say with a sigh.

“I know.” Harry pulls you down onto the couch with him. “I just hope they all have a good time.”

//

The dance was…awkward to say the least. Each grade pretty much took a section of the cafeteria and stood around. No one was dancing to the music, and anyone that started to just looked awkward. There were teachers everywhere chaperoning.

“I thought dances were supposed to have punch bowls and snacks. All they have over there are bottles of water that you need money for.” Tyler says. “Did anyone’s parents give them any money?” Everyone shakes their heads no.

“I don’t get why no one’s dancing…” Molly says as she looks over at the eighth graders. “Even the older kids are just standing around.”

“Maybe if they played better music.” Andy says.

“It’s the beginning of the night, they have to get all of the lame songs out of the way.” Caroline says. “It’ll get better.”

And it did. About an hour in the music picked up, and the lights got dimmer, so everything was less embarrassing. Everyone was having fun dancing in a group. Towards the end of the night, just like at any dance, Stairway to Heaven starts to play, and everyone pairs up.

Caroline puts her hands on Andy’s shoulders, and he hesitates at first.

“You can put your hands on my waist if you want.”

“Oh, okay.” He nods and does so gently. There was plenty of space between them as they swayed back and forth. “Did you have a good time tonight?”

“Yeah, did you?”

“Mhm.”

“I’m really glad Molly and Alexis came too. They invited me to their sleepover.”

“That’s great!” Andy glances over at Molly and Brandon and sees that they’re dancing much closer. “Um, do you wanna, like, put your head on my shoulder?”

“Okay.”

They dance closer like a lot of other people. Andy and Brandon make eye contact, and it’s a little intense. Andy watches as Molly kisses his cheek, and then…he sees Brandon kiss her quickly on the mouth.

“Jerk.” Andy scoffs.

“Huh?” Caroline looks up at him.

“Oh, nothing.” He smiles at her.

She keeps looking up at him, almost like she was waiting for something.

“You can kiss me, if you want to.” Andy leans in and kisses Caroline on the cheek and then smiles nervously at her. “That was nice.” She giggles. “But I was sort of hoping, um…”

“I just don’t wanna do it in such a public place, it’s not special.”

“Oh.” She blushes. “That’s actually really sweet.” She hugs him close as they keep dancing.

Once the song is over, everyone goes outside to wait for their parents. Andy gets into Harry’s car. You were sitting in the passenger seat.

“Well, how was it?” Harry asks.

“Fine.”

“Just fine?” Harry questions him.

“Um, Andy, Dad and I started this puzzle tonight, it’s one-thousand pieces! It’s gonna be a tough one, but when we’re done it’s gonna be this really pretty lake scene.”

“You guys had the night off from me and all you did was work on a puzzle?”

“What would you have liked us to do instead?” You chuckle.

“Don’t knock a puzzle, it was actually really romantic. We listened to music, had some wine. It was a perfect Valentine’s Day.” You also got a couple of quickies in, but obviously Andy didn’t need to know that.  

“Oh, well, good for you guys.”

It was clear Andy wasn’t up to talking about his evening, so you and Harry didn’t press him. Once you were all inside, Andy tugs you into his room with him when he sees Harry step into the bathroom.

“We don’t have much time.” He whispers as he gets his things together to bring to Brandon’s.

“For what?” You whisper back.

“To talk about the dance.”

“Okay…what happened?”

“Caroline said I could kiss her so I kissed her cheek, but she really wanted me to kiss her and I told her I didn’t want to in front of everyone and she told me that was really sweet.”

“Well, it was really sweet.”

“I wanted to kiss her, but I saw Brandon and Molly kiss, and I wanted hit him.”

“You wanted to hit Brandon?!”

“Shh!” He puts his finger up to his lips. “Yeah, he’s been such a jerk since he got back with Molly. We were looking at each other and he looked at me while he kissed her.”

“Is it just you sleeping over tonight?”

“No, Tyler’s gonna be there too.” Andy rolls his sleeping back up. “I-“ Andy’s eyes widen when he sees Harry in the doorway. You turn around to look at Harry.

“Um…everything alright in here?”

“Yeah, Dad, uh…Y/N was just helping me roll my sleeping bag. She’s gotten pretty good at it since you showed her how. Let’s go, bye, Y/N.”

Andy brushes by you and Harry.

“Is he alright?” Harry whispers.

“I can’t tell…I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. Let me take him alone to Brandon’s, maybe he’ll talk one on one.”

“Wait…let me take him. He was opening up to me.”

“Will you please let me know what’s going on afterwards?”

“Yes.” You rush out and grab the keys. “Andy, I’m gonna bring you to Brandon’s.”

“Okay.”

Once you’re both in the car, Andy speaks up again.

“Y/N I like Caroline a lot, but…” He starts tearing up. “I feel really guilty.”

“About what, honey?” You hadn’t really called him that before, but you felt like he needed it.

“Because…I think I wanna kiss Brandon.”

“Oh, Andy.”

“But I also wanna kiss Caroline! But I don’t know if I want her to be my first kiss, you know?”

You pull up to Brandon’s house and turn around to look at Andy.

“Promise me something, Andy.”

“What?”

“Don’t rush into anything. I know it feels like everyone’s doing things, but just because your friends are kissing doesn’t mean that you need to. Don’t let anyone pressure you. If Caroline really likes you, she’ll understand if you want to wait. Also, if you like someone else, you shouldn’t string her along.”

“But I really like her! I just…I like Brandon too.”

“Are you sure you want to go in there tonight? I can take you home if this is all too much.”

“No, I wanna go inside. I’ll be fine. I’m just freaking out for no reason.”

“Andy…”

“Thanks for driving me, see you soon.”

Andy gets out of the car and heads into Brandon’s house. You explain things best you can to Harry when you get back.

“This ski trip can’t come soon enough, he needs some time away from everyone.” Harry says. “Poor kid.”

//

“Andy, how come you didn’t kiss Caroline?” Tyler asks him as they were all hanging out in Brandon’s room.

“I did.”

“You only kissed her on the cheek.” Brandon says.

“Why was everyone watching?!” Andy groans. “I just think something like that should happen in private.” He shrugs. “I’m really tired, can we go to sleep now?”

It was nearly midnight. The other boys agree. Brandon gets settled into his bed, and the other boys get into their sleeping bags.

“Andy, you can come on the bed with me, there’s plenty of room.”

“But then Tyler would be left out, it’s fine.”

“But you always-“

“I’m more comfortable on the floor, B.”

“I’ll take the bed.” Tyler says and comes up onto the bed with Brandon.

There was tension in the air. Andy couldn’t wait for February break.

//

Andy made it through another week of school. Caroline hadn’t pressed him about kissing, which he was thankful for.

“So…you’re doing the big family trip thing again, huh?” Brandon asks on Friday at their lockers.

“Yup, but Y/N’s coming this time, so that’ll be fun. It’s gonna be her first time skiing since she was our age or something. My dad’s gonna take a lesson with her.”

“That’s nice of him.”

“Mhm.”

“When do you get back?”

“Next Friday…we’re going early tomorrow morning.”

“Maybe we can hang out when you get back.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“You know you can call me or whatever if Rachel or Noah get on your nerves.”

“They’ve been on my nerves less lately, actually, but thanks.” This would normally be the part where they hug, but Caroline comes over to them.

“Andy, wanna walk me outside so we can say goodbye?”

“Yeah.” He smiles at her and takes her hand. “Have a good break, B.”

//

You were making Andy feel better already. You had put a mix of early 2000’s hits on, and you were singing really obnoxiously. Harry hated this kind of music, but you knew it would make Andy laugh, so Harry sucked it up for his sake.

“Okay, I’m gonna turn it down for a bit, we might scare the neighbors.” Harry says. “We’re just about there.”

The three of you get into the cabin, and Andy races to go claim his bunk before Rachel gets there. Harry shows you to which room would be yours.

“See, we even have our bathroom, babe. Total privacy.”

“Harry, once again, I’m not boning you while we’re under the same roof as-“

“Hello! We’re here!”

“Them.” You say.

“You say that now, but you’ll be wanting me after you see me on the slopes.” He pinches your butt before leaving the room to go greet everyone. “Hey, everyone!”

“Y/N, would you like to come grocery shopping with me?” Paige asks. “Gotta stock up on all the good stuff for the kids.”

“Oh, um, sure, I could tag along.”

“Great.” She smiles. “Better to get it all done now, and then we can just relax the rest of the day.” She kisses Noah’s cheek. “Be back soon!”

“Uncle Harry, I brought all new colors to paint our nails with this year. Wanna do it tonight?”

“Sure, I think that’s a great idea.” He smiles at her. “You better go see what bunk Andy left you with.”

“Oh shoot, you’re right!”

“So…how’s fifth grade treating her?” Harry asks Noah.

“Pretty good, actually. She loves her friends, although she’s closer with some of the kids at her Hebrew school. She can relate to them a little better.”

“Where are Mum and Y/N?” Andy asks as he comes out to the living room with Rachel.

“They went grocery shopping.” Harry says.

“Together?!” Andy was nervous you might fill his mother in on everything, but you wouldn’t do that.

“Yeah, they’re gonna get all your favorites.” Noah says.

That night Harry sits at the table with Rachel so they can do each other’s nails. You end up on the couch with Noah and Paige to watch some TV. Andy comes over, and almost automatically lays his head in your lap with a pillow, and you mindlessly start playing with his hair. He puts his feet up on Paige’s lap. It was a bit odd for Paige since Andy rarely let her play with his hair anymore, but the closeness was nice nonetheless.

“Are you excited to ski tomorrow?” Harry asks as you get ready for bed later.

“A little…I’m more nervous than anything.”

“No need to be nervous, baby. I’ll be right there with you.”

“And you’re okay wasting an entire day just to take a lesson and hang on the bunny trail with me?”

“It won’t be a waste! Noah’s gonna be at the bunny trail with Rachel too. Paige is gonna go on the longer runs with Andy. It’ll all work out great.” He gives you a smooch before wrapping himself around you.

//

“Have I told you enough times how cute you look in your gear?” Harry asks as you wait outside in the beginner skier area.

“Once or twice.” You giggle. “Thank you.”

“I hope you have fun, babe. If not, you can go to the pool the rest of the week and I won’t even complain.”

“Seems fair enough to me.”

“Good morning everyone!” A young man starts. “I’m Trevor, I’ll be your instructor this morning.”

Trevor goes over the basics, getting the skis on and off, walking around with one on at a time, turning with one on a time. You were working up quite the sweat. Eventually, Trevor takes everyone over to the bunny hill, and he explains how to step onto the belt so you don’t fall backwards.  

“Great work today everybody, have fun!”

“Okay, are you ready to try going down?” Harry says to you. “I’ll be right beside you the whole way.”

“Yeah, let’s do it.”

You start squatting as you push off, but Harry grabs you.

“Don’t do that.”

“What?”

“Go that low. Stand up straight, or you’ll go way too fast and you’ll have trouble stopping.”

“Maybe you should have given the lesson.”

“He’s just some college kid making a quick buck, he did his best.”

You take a deep breath and push off with Harry. He stays beside you and you’re glad you listened to him because you still whipped down the hill even while standing up straight.

“That was great! How do you feel?”

“Um…definitely won’t be going on the chairlift anytime soon.” You chuckle. “Perhaps I’ll be hanging with Rachel this week.”

“No worries. You’ll get the hang of it. I’m really proud of you for trying. Ready to give it another go?”

“Yeah, let’s go again.”

Your legs were extremely sore by the end of the day. Paige and Noah volunteered to cook while you sat in front of the fire with Harry. The kids were playing a board game, and Harry was rubbing your shins. You didn’t even have to ask.

“Dad, can we go to the pool after dinner?”

“Sure, we could go for a bit.” Harry nods. “Feel like swimming?” He asks you.

“No, I’ll stay here and read I think. I’m a little tired. Maybe tomorrow though.”

“I’ll go with you, H. Wouldn’t mind some time in that hot tub.” Noah says.

So then after dinner, it was just you and Paige hanging out. You wanted to go to your room and just veg out alone, but you also didn’t want to be rude.

“I’m really glad you were able to come this year.” Paige says to you. “It’s really nice seeing you and Harry together.”

“Oh, um, thanks. I was happy to be invited. My classes are doing some online work this week. I bet a lot of them went out skiing to the mountains closer by.”

“So, was today your first day of skiing ever?”

“I tried it when I was younger, but haven’t since. It was fun, but I’m definitely tired. Did you have a nice day with Andy?”

“I did! It was nice for us to go on the lifts together and just be together. We had a nice lunch together too.”

“That’s great.” You say with a yawn. “Excuse me.” You chuckle. “I think I might turn in early.”

“No worries, go ahead.” She smiles.

“Goodnight.”

“Night, Y/N.”

You get into a large tee shirt and settle into bed with a book. When Harry gets back from the pool he sees you passed out with the lights on and your book on your chest. He takes a quick shower to rinse off and then he gets into bed with you. You turn over so he can hold you, and he snuggles right in.

“Love you, baby.” You say in a sleepy voice.

“Love you too.” He kisses your head and you sigh.

//

The next morning you hear rustling and sit up to see Harry doing some yoga. You giggle at him and he turns to see you.

“Make fun all you want, but it really gets me ready for the day.”

“I didn’t say a thing.”

You get out of bed and throw on some sweatpants and a sweatshirt, both Harry’s after doing your thing in the bathroom. You both go out to the kitchen and get some coffee started for everyone. He wraps his arms around you from behind as you both look outside at the fresh snow.

“This is the life, isn’t it?” He says as he kisses your cheek.

“Can’t complain too much.”

“You were so cute last night when I got back. You had completely passed out.”

“I was tired! My legs were killing me.”

“How do they feel now?”

“Fine, I should be able to get back on the bunny hill. Don’t feel like you need to babysit me or anything.”

“I’ll spend the morning with you just to make sure you’re good to go, and then I’ll do a couple of runs down the black diamonds.”

You turn your face and pucker lips. He smiles and then leans in to kiss you.

“Oh! Um, good morning.” Paige says as she walks into the kitchen with Noah. You start to move away from Harry out of instinct, but he keeps his arms wrapped around you.

“Morning, we made coffee.” Harry says.

“Thanks, I was thinking of making pancakes for the kids, that work for you two?” Noah asks.

“Sure.” You say and tap Harry’s hands so he’ll let you go, which his does reluctantly.

The kids emerge just as Noah’s finishing the last batch of pancakes. Everyone scarfs the food down, and you discuss who’s going with who for the day. Noah and Paige are going to ski with Rachel, and Harry and Andy are going to go with you.

“Were you alright in there this morning?” Harry asks you as you both get your ski clothes on.

“Yeah, why?”

“You stopped letting me hold you, like, the second they walked in.”

“I just felt a little…weird, I don’t know. I feel like a teenager on a family trip with my parents and boyfriend for some reason.”

“We’re all adults, babe, you don’t need to feel that way.”

“They’re not exactly showing off…”

“That’s because they don’t have a hot young thing on their arm like I do.” He smirks and puts his hands on your hips.

“You make it sound like I’m twenty years old, or like you’re forty. You’re not that much older than me.”

“Six years is a decent gap. I mean, think about it. When I was in my first year of uni, you were in the eighth grade.”

“Hm, good point, maybe I should call you Daddy more.” You wink and walk away from him to put your hair up into a braid.

“Save it for when we have kids.” He gives your bum a smack before leaving the bedroom and you shake your head.

//

You have fun doing the bunny hills with Harry and Andy in the morning, but you assure them they don’t need to stay with you the whole day. In fact, you end up going to the lodge for the afternoon to read and chill out while they go on the lifts to the higher mountains. It was relaxing to watch the snow flurry outside while you were curled up on a couch with a hot drink.

“There’s my little snow bunny.” Harry says as he plops down on the couch next to you.

“Hey, baby, where’s Andy?”

“Sent him up to the counter to get some hot ciders…I see you have one already?”

“Actually it’s tea, so a hot cider sounds great.”

“Perfect.” He kisses your cheek. “Still having fun?”

“Mhm, thanks for checking in.”

“Hi, Y/N, got you a cider.”

“Thank you.” You smile and take the drink from him. “I love apple cider, it’s so good.”

“It’s my favorite, second to hot chocolate.” Andy says as he grabs the spot next to Harry.

“Did you two have a good time on your runs?”

“Yeah! I only fell once.” Andy says proudly.

“It’s not icy at all, which is nice, Makes it easier to not whip down the mountain too fast.” Harry explains. “You know they have gondola rides in the early evenings, we could do that some night so you could see what it all looks like.”

“I’d like that.”

//

You were surprised at how easy going the week was. There was zero tension, neither of the kids acted up, and everything was just really chill. You were a little anxious, but you realized you really had no reason to be. A lot of laughs were had, you and Noah have a few inside jokes now, and you’re really starting to see the beauty of a blended family. Harry and Paige joke around here and there, but you notice they never sit next to each other, they never touch, and they’re not typically left alone in the same room for too long. Everything between them was purely platonic. You could tell they both were doing all of this for Andy, to give him some sense of normalcy. To see his parents together in some capacity.

You also noticed how much Harry really needed you there. He must have felt almost a little left out last year when he came with everyone. Andy’s used to living with Paige, Noah, and Rachel, but Harry isn’t. Having you there gave him some consistency and comfort. You could go off and take a walk together if he just needed a break. It was nice.

“You two have fun, we’ll just be here watching a movie.” Paige says as you both leave to go on a gondola ride back at the mountain resort.

“Thanks for watching ‘em tonight.” Harry waves off and leads you to his car.

“I’m really excited, babe.” You say as he starts the car.

“Me too, I guess they provide hot chocolate and stuff, and it’s a pretty smooth ride. Everything will be all lit up too.”

You were happy you brought your long coat to wear for this since it was a bit chilly, but it didn’t matter once you were inside your gondola since it was heated. Not to mention Harry put his arm around you immediately, keeping you extra toasty.

“This is so fucking romantic.” You nearly squeal. “Thank you so much, Harry.”

“Told you you’d have a great time this week.” He kisses your temple.

“They have these in Disney World, rides like this across the different parks, it’s so cool.”

“Yeah? You know, I was thinking of taking Andy there for this thirteenth birthday, give him a place he can really use his new phone in.”

“A little over a year to plan it out too, smart.”

“I thought it would be nice, too, as an end of middle school thing, finishing up the eighth grade in one piece and all that.”

“He’ll love, Har. You already know he loves all those Pixar movies. I bet he’ll really like that Toy Story Land in Hollywood Studios.”

“You…seem to know a lot about Disney Word.” He raises an eyebrow at you.

“May or may not have gone with Nora after I got my master’s.” You chuckle. “It’s a lot of fun as an adult. You drink around the world, and there are tons of bars and shops. A lively night life.”

“Well, if you’re such an expert I’ll have to make sure you come too.”

“Duh.” You scoff and it makes him laugh. “God, it’s so beautiful out there.” You gaze out the window at the lights below you illuminating the mountains in different colors.

Harry looks down at you and tilts your chin up. He tucks some hair behind your ear, and you smile as he leans in to kiss you. He lightly nips at your bottom lip before sucking on it. He licks into your mouth, and your tongue molds with his. Your fingers lace through his hair while he holds you as close as he can. He unzips your coat enough that he can kiss down to your neck.

“Harry.” You breathe. “I can’t diddle you in a gondola.”

“M’not asking you to.” He moves to look at you, a smirk growing on his face. “We’re just kissing, is that alright?”

You nod yes and let him continue his attack on your neck. You loved the way Harry would leave marks on you because he was so subtle about it at first. He’d gently kiss on the area, then he’d lick over it, and mouth at it, that would really get you going. Then he’d lightly graze his teeth over the area before really sucking on your tender skin. He was doing that now, and it felt so fucking good. You let out a soft moan, and you wish you could just crawl into his lap, but you didn’t think that would be safe right now.

His hands slide inside your coat so he stick his fingers inside the back of your jeans, squeezing at what he can of your ass. You continue to tug at his hair as he sucks on your skin. He was practically blood thirsty tonight. As much as you loved summer, you loved winter just the same. Turtlenecks and scarves were your best friend, so you didn’t really care how nasty of a bruise Harry left because you could easily cover it.

“Baby, don’t you wanna, um, look outside?” You were breathing heavily. You hear him grunt a ‘no’, and his hands move up your body to grope at your breasts.

His lips meet yours again, and you tug at his jacket, balling the material into your fists. God, you needed him, badly. You lick into his mouth and suck on his tongue, eliciting a groan from him that filled the gondola.

Needless to say, when your ride was over you got a few looks from the crew as you both had swollen lips and red cheeks. When you reach his car, you bite your bottom lip as you watch him get the key in the ignition and turn the heat on blast.

“What are you doing? Get in the car.” He chuckles.

“Is there somewhere private we can go?”

“Yeah.” He nods and you get in. “The movie theater lot is good for privacy.” A few minutes down the road, Harry parks the car in the theater lot. You both look at each other. “What do you wanna do, Y/N?”

“I wanna get in the back seat.” You mumble.

It was around this time last year that you had fucked some random guy in the backseat of his car. Funny how much could change in a year. You and Harry climb into the backseat of his car, heat still blasting to keep you both warm. You weren’t sure if you wanted to full on fuck since it was so cold, but you need to relieve some of the pressure that had built up in your stomach. You get onto his lap, and straddle one of his thighs.

“Gonna use my leg, darling?” He asks as he sponges kisses to the side of your neck that he didn’t attack earlier.

“Mhm.”

You rock back and forth on his thigh, and his hands grips your hips to help you along. He was desperate to see you come like this. He lifts his leg a little to add to the friction he knew you needed.

“That’s it, baby.” He grunts.

“Fuck, Harry, feels so good.” You groan and hide your face in his shoulder. “N-need your fingers, please.” You look at him almost doe-eyed, and he couldn’t say no to that.

He works swiftly to unbutton your jeans. He knew how much you hated having to keep your underwear on, but he assumed you didn’t really care right now from how hard you were grinding against him. He slips his hand inside your underwear and moans softly when he feels how wet you are. He’s able to slide three of his fingers right in and you gasp loudly. You needed the stretch right now. You have one hand tugging at his hair, and the other one tugging at the collar of his shirt. You ride his fingers with him barely needing to do anything.

“Oh my god.” You start panting. “Harry.”

“I want you to come so fucking hard, baby, go on.”

Your head rolls back, giving him such a wonderful view of your body. You squeeze around his fingers over and over, and he feels you pulse around him. Your eyes snap open as you come to your release, not that you can see anything because your vision’s gone hazy. Your scream fills the car, and Harry works you through it, his thumb rubbing at your clit so you can ride it out.

“Harry, please fuck me.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.” You press your lips to his. “Do you have any condoms in here?”

“Mhm, in the glove. Get on your knees, I’ll fuck you from behind so you don’t have to take your pants all the way off.”

You nod and get into position for him while he grabs a condom. You feel him behind you, and he spreads you apart to push inside. He grips one of the headrests to keep his balance while he thrusts inside you.

“Are you, shit, comfortable?” He says as he gets a pace going.

“As much as I can be, yeah.” You look over your shoulder at him and smile. “Are you?”

“Yeah, babe.” He gives your ass a light smack before gripping both of your hips to ram in and out of you. “Gotta make this quick, sorry.”

“It’s okay, feels good!” His tip was already hitting your g-spot, you were done for.

“Yeah, you like it like this?”

“Yes! Fuck, Harry.”

“Taking it so well for me, being so fucking good.”

“Call me your good girl, Harry.”

“You’re my good-oh shit!” He couldn’t finish his sentence. You telling him to call you that made him lose it. He uses the strength his has to reach around and rub your clit so you could get off with him.

“Ah!” You cry out as you release around him. You both take a moment to catch your breaths. He pulls out and gives your ass another smack, but more towards the area between your cheeks where you were a little sensitive right now. “Oh!” You gasp.

“Good girl.” He whispers in your ear and then kisses your cheek.

You were speechless, to say the least.

[dylanobemineforever]

Don’t Get Involved With a Fuckboy - It’s Bound to Break Your Heart / Part 2 // Fuckboy!Stiles Au

Part 1: The Benefit Of The Doubt & The Broken Heart

Title: The Conflicted Mind & The Hidden Feelings

Author’s Note: Here is is finally! I actually was closing in on like 13 or 14k and had the feeling of not getting to an end any time soon so I decided to split it into two. Not sure when I am going to post the other part though. Depends on your feedback and how I am doing with school so yeah enjoy

Additional Note: I am too lazy to edit everything now, but will do that later

Warnings: Alcohl, talking about sex and stuff, sexual harassment

Word count: 7,7k

Songs you might enjoy listening to: Body - SYML // Blame - Thutmose

“Ready?” Claire looked you up and down with worried eyes. After two weeks of skipping classes you finally had pulled yourself together again, more or less at least. Your eyes were sunken in, still with their prominent circles beneath them that just wouldn’t leave. You also had lost a considerable amount of weight, because you’ve barley eaten. Nausea always hunting you as soon as you put something in your mouth. Why were you hurting so much? Stiles and you hadn’t been together or anything… He was just a stranger to you and still he had the ability to crush your heart in a matter of seconds. And the tragic part about it all was that you actually should have known better. Everything could have been easily avoided if you would have trusted the nagging voice in the back of your mind that constantly tried to tell you that something didn’t add up. That something wasn’t right. But you pushed the voice back, suppressed it and threw it in the dark  abyss that was your mind.  

“Yup.” That sure didn’t sound convincing.  

You looked like a mess and you weren’t ready to face Stiles. You felt like you would never be ready. You would feel better facing him, knowing that you didn’t portray how you were feeling. Showing him that he wasn’t affecting you in any way. But that wasn’t the case.  

Last class for the day. You got this, Y/N. Up until this point the first day back had been a pleasant surprise. You were nearing your vacation, so everyone was in a good mood, even the professors. You still had some assignments to take care off before Christmas vacation but that didn’t seem to falter anyone’s mood. So all in all things went smoothly. Not for long though… 

You walked into the room of your last class, only a few people were already seated. You took your things and sat down at a table that wasn’t occupied, scribbling in your notes.  

“See you later babe.” The raspy voice startled you, forcing you to look up. You wished you hadn’t. Your stomach churned, nausea hitting you once again like a train wreck. Stiles stood in front of the open door, literally sucking the life out of some girls lips. You could feel the tears building up , blurring your vision but you didn’t dare let them spill over. You didn’t want to give him that kind of satisfaction. Finally, Stiles released the girls lips and she turned around, waving goodbye. He too waved goodbye and then smacked her ass as her hips started swaying while she started to walk in the other direction. You didn’t want to look, but it was like an accident taking place right before your eyes. There was no way of turning your back to it, making you frozen in place as you watched with utter helplessness the tragedy taking place right in front of you. Everything felt like it was in slow motion, as Stiles turned around and you could finally see his face… and he yours. You didn’t even want to know how he perceived you in that moment. You knew that you must’ve looked like a complete mess whereas he looked as handsome and unbothered as ever. As he looked at you his eyes grew softer, a saddened look invading his features and a small and sly smile crept on his lips. One that looked apologetic and wasn’t reaching his eyes. You couldn’t take it anymore. Looking at him, seeing him kiss that girl and now this look in his eyes that screamed that he pitied you. You didn’t want his pitty. You wouldn’t need his pitty if he hadn’t played you so dirty to begin with. It was all his fault and you hated him for it.  

You looked down at your doodles , averting eye contact at all costs. But then you felt the table shift softly and out of pure instinct you looked up at the cause for the disturbance. It was Stiles. Of Fucking course. Thanks universe once again for throwing all your shit right in my face! Thanks a fucking lot!  

“Hey.” He said softly. Was he being serious right now? You couldn’t believe this guy.  

You just ignored him, playing with your fingers.  

“You know I am sorry, right?” Why the fuck was he still talking? All you wanted to do was leap up from your chair and start throwing punches at him. He didn’t deserve to be talking to you after what he did. Thinking that everything you needed was a damn apology that didn’t even sound sincere. Who the fuck did he think he was? “I really didn’t want things to end like this, but I am glad you’re back and-“  

“Stop.” You whispered, nearly inaudible. You were hurting, so fucking much and you didn’t want him to just pretend that everything was fine. Sitting next to you like he had every right to do so.  

“What?” He sounded confused as if you should feel privileged to be talking to him, but instead you had the audacity to reject him. What a fucking asshole!  

“I said fucking stop!” You nearly yelled and everyone turned to look at the two of you with wide eyes. At this point you didn’t even care anymore. You were so angry and you couldn’t keep it all bottled up any longer. “Stop talking to me. Stop looking at me. Stop pretending that everything is going to be fine just because you said you’re sorry! You know what I am feeling sorry for? That I trusted you! That I actually gave you the benefit of the doubt and you used that to win some fucking bet. Tell me Stiles, how much was I worth? What did you get as a price?” You raised your eyebrows in question. The others still looking at the both of you.  

“Can we talk after class, please?”  

You huffed. “I don’t think, I have anything left to say, Stiles. Just leave me the fuck alone!”  

Reluctantly Stiles got up from his seat just as the professor walked into the room.

“Sit down Mr. Stilinski!” The professor, Mr. Meyer, said, not even looking up as he got all the papers out his bag that he would need for his lecture.  

With a huff Stiles let himself fall back in his seat again, you just rolling your eyes at your misfortune.  

Mr. Meyer began his lecture, simultaneously Stiles began tapping his pen on the desk repeatedly, bouncing his right leg up and down in the same rhythm. Your jaw clenched in annoyance. "Can you fucking stop this?" You hissed between clenched teeth, causing him to snap out of whatever state he was in.  

"Sorry," he mumbled, turning his head to look at you. His honey brown orbs looked at you with a hint of mischief in them that you couldn't quite place. Maybe it amused him that he was still getting to you? That he was able to get under your skin that fast? Or maybe he was just being a dick.  

You rolled your eyes. "Yeah, whatever."  

Fifteen minutes passed as you heard a clicking noise again. You turned to face Stiles and saw that he was tapping the pen again, subconsciously it seemed. "Are you fucking serious?" Anger was boiling within you that you had to restrain yourself from jumping up and clawing his eyes out.  

Stiles turned his head again, but didn't stop from tapping the pen. Instead he looked you in your eyes intently, never breaking eye contact. "Okay, that's fucking it, Stilinski!" You reached forward, grabbed the pen out of his hand forcefully and snapped it in half. The relatively loud crack resonated from the walls, catching the attention of a few students in the rows behind and before you, causing them to turn their heads and looking at you like you were being insane. Maybe you were. You didn't even know anymore.  

"Is there a problem, Miss Y/L/N?" Mr. Meyer asked you, voice strained.  

Automatically you turned to look at Stiles who was already staring at you with wide eyes. "No, I am sorry for the interruption, sir." Face bright red.  

"Good. Let's continue."  

The lecture dragged on for another hour, but it easily felt like five. As soon as the bell dismissed you, you hurried to grab all your belongings and within no time rushed for the door. You were already down the hall when someone grabbed your arm. "We still need to talk." Stiles' voice. Students were rushing past the two of you, some giving you weird looks. Why was he trying so hard? It seemed like his life depended on easing things out between the two of you. Why? Why did he care? Was it just because he wanted to clear his conscience? But maybe he truly was sorry. You remembered that he had tears in his eyes as he came to your dorm to apologize. Maybe you were the one overreacting? Did he deserve a second chance? But, what he did was unforgivable, right? Right?  

"I said that I have nothing else to tell you!" You spat.  

"Yeah, I know, but I have a lot that I want to tell you! Please, just hear me out?"  

"I don't thin-"  

"Hey, baby! I missed you so much!" Before you could finish your sentence the girl that you had seen earlier threw herself around Stiles' neck, enveloping his lips in a crashing kiss of tongue and teeth.  

"Good talk." They were still kissing or more precisely licking each other's faces. You spun around, ready to get the fuck out of there, when you heard his voice again.  

"Y/N, wait!"  

"You're a fucking asshole, Stilinski! Just stay the hell away from me!" You didn't look back, bursting through the doors at the end of the hallway.  

The rest of the week was a blur of tons of schoolwork and assignments that you had completed in record time. Drowning yourself in schoolwork was the only thing that occupied your mind and you weren't forced to overthink everything that had happened with Stiles. Well, at least that worked during the day. The nights however were a complete nightmare. Images were flooding your mind as you tried to fall asleep. You tried pushing them back by listening to music, but every song seemed to remind you of him and the things that had happened, causing you to lay awake in your bed till early morning. Tears never flowing though. You wished that was a good thing, but the truth was that you just didn't know what to feel anymore. You were angry at yourself. You knew who Stiles was before you got to know him on a more personal level. For some reason you thought that the Fuckboy thst Stiles portrayed to the outside world, was just a façade and the funny and caring Stiles Stilinski that he seemed to be when the two of you were alone, was reality. Well, it turned out to be the other way around. You were no better than all the girls before you, the ones that you made fun of. Why did you think you were any different? Did you really think he would change for you? Why? The worst part was that you actually wanted to forgive him. Maybe actually hear him out. And that fact alone was enough to make you scream into your pillow in the middle of the night. He had you all wrapped up around his little finger.  

"He's probably fucking some girl right now, while I can't take my mind off of him! I am a pathetic piece of shit!" You thought aloud. He didn't deserve the attention you were giving him, but yet, here you were, him being the only thing on your mind while he probably was fucked into oblivion right this second. What was it about him that you just couldn't ignore? You didn't know... and you were afraid that you would never know. 

"Claire, I don't wanna go! Just please leave me here and go have fun. I am okay, honestly!" You whined as she dragged you across the courtyard by the hem of your shirt.  

"No, you're not fine, don't even try to tell me that. And because of that we are going out, having fun and a good time, okay?" You knew that she was coming from a good place, but that was like the last thing that you wanted to do right now. "And besides, I didn't spend an hour on your make-up and hair for you to mope in your room!"  

You shook her hand off of you and halted dead in your tracks. "Stiles is going to be there, Claire..."

"Good, let's show him what he's missing out on!" It was true, you and Claire were different in every way, but for some reason it worked out between the two of you. She was so strong-willed and brave, that it sometimes radiated off of her and devolved onto you. Maybe she was right. Maybe you should go out, have a good time. After all, what did you gain from moping around in your room for the rest of your life? Nothing! Stiles had had enough power over you! You looked bomb as fucking fuck with the style that Claire had forced upon you. Time to finally stop being a miserable mess!  

The music was deafening as you opened the door. Instantly you recognized the smell of alcohol and sweat. People occupying the whole room, swaying to the music. Claire and you fought your way through the mass of people to get to the bar at the other side of the frat house.  

“What do you want?” She shouted over the music.  

“I’ll just take what you get.” You shouted back.  

It was a makeshift bar like all the other times. There wasn’t an actual bartender, everyone could just take what they wanted and mix themselves something together.  

You watched Claire walk around the desk with all the beverages, taking two red solo cups and then pouring juice in both of them and a clear liquid right after.  

“Thanks.” You took one cup from her and took a sip. It was actually quite tasty. Not too strong, but also not too light.  

Claire and you took your cups with you and walked over to the spacious community room of the frat house where all the furniture had been taken somewhere else. People were dancing, swaying to the music in a light hearted manner. Simply enjoying their time and not giving two shits about the next morning.  

Claire pulled your hand, dragging you on the dance floor.  

“Claire. I don’t wanna…” You whined, but she didn’t even listen.  

Just as Claire was content with the space she got on the dance floor ‘Blame’ by Thutmose came over the speakers, one of your favourite songs and you couldn’t help but sing along and swing your hips to the beat.  

You just want somebody you can blame One too many times, had to learn from my mistakes Took my heart now look at what remains One too many times, had to learn from my mistakes

Out of the corner of your eyes you could see Stiles and your heart dropped down on the dance floor, leaving you cold and vulnerable. Frozen in place.  

“What’s wrong?” Claire snapped a finger near your ear, making you jump. “You okay? You zoned out.” She looked at you with raised eyebrows, trying to read your mind, but came up blank.  

“It’s, uh…” You pointed to a corner near where the both of you stood.  

Oh baby You driving me crazy Don't know who can save me but Just know I'm not the same me Let you go for the both of us Got a feeling that I'm growing up Phones blowing up, late night you stay throwing up, with ur friends that ain't old enough, goddamn  

“Oh.” Claire’s expression changed from confusion to sadness in an instant as she looked into your hurt eyes. She was feeling with you. “Wanna get out of here?”  

You shook your head. “No. I’m fine.” Eyes never leaving Stiles and that blonde girl who was grinding her ass against his crotch, his hands resting low on her hips. “I just need a little more to drink. Be right back.”  

“You want me to come with?” She asked you. Not sure whether it was better for you to get a little alone time or if you wanted company.  

“No. It’s fine.” You looked around the room. “Actually, I think you’re needed somewhere else.” You winked at her, pointing near the entrance to the guy that she met at the last frat party the two of you had been to. His name was Thomas and both of them had gotten quite close to one another. He was already watching Claire and waved at her shyly.  

“No, Y/N. That can wait. I don’t wanna leave you alone…”  

“Claire, it’s okay. Just because I have boy trouble doesn’t mean you have to miss out on a great opportunity. You like him, right?”  

She looked down shyly, her cheeks flushing. “Yeah, I guess.”  

“Then, go get him!” You chuckled and nudged her side.  

“You sure?”  

“I am sure.”  

“Call me when you need me or when you leave, please!” She hugged you and you hugged her back.  

“Promise.”  

She pulled away and smiled at you sincerely and with such kind eyes that it warmed your heart. “Kick his ass for me, okay? Show him what a fucking idiot he is for letting you go like this!”  

You chuckled. “Will do my best.” She nodded, hugged you one last time and then was on her way. “Well, at least one of us is lucky.” You sighed and left the dance floor, the now empty cup still in your hand, ready for a refill.  

“May I get you anything?” Someone from behind you asked, just as you reached over the table to grab a bottle that looked interesting enough to catch your attention.  

“It’s an open bar.” You were in no mood. “I guess I’ll be fine. But thanks.” You responded, not even looking back.  

“Feisty. I like it.” The guy commented.  

You just rolled your eyes and poured something of the liquor in your cup.  

“What’s your name?” Ugh, seriously? Claire got to go with a hot, friendly and nice guy and you just seemed to attract all the assholes and creeps. Great. “Mine’s Jermey.” He came closer, uninvited. His hot breath was now fanning across your exposed neck and it sent goosebumps across your skin. Not the good kind though.  

“Take your hands off of me!” You seethed through your teeth, only for him to hear as he settled his hands on your hips and pressed his crotch against your ass. “If I were you I’d take a step back!”  

“Come on, gorgeous! Don’t be like that! Let’s have a bit fun!” He was clearly drunk. That didn’t excuse his actions though. He bend down and pressed a wet kiss against your neck, causing waves of disgust rushing through your body, but you didn’t do anything. You were stood frozen in place as his left hand sneaked up and settled mere inches beneath your breasts. You’ve never been so uncomfortable in your life. You gulped the alcohol down to a third and were ready to push him off of you when you heard someone’s voice from behind you. Could this evening get any worse?  

“Y/N, you wanna come play some drinking games with us?” His voice was the last thing you expected to hear over the deafening music. Jermey took a step back, standing beside you now and not clinging to you anymore like he was some sort of squid. You turned your head to look over your shoulder and indeed Stiles stood directly behind you. You noticed that his jaw was clenched and that even though he had spoken to you, his attention only counted for the man that was standing beside you. “So? Are you in?” He was still not looking at you, only straight ahead. Jeremy also staring him up and down with a hard glare. The tension hung so thick in the air that you thought you could practically grab it. It was still hard having Stiles this close to you, but you had few choices.  

“Yeah, sure. I am down.” You said, lacking the needed enthusiasm.  

“Okay, watchu playing? I am down too!” Jeremy asked. This time looking at you, a creepy smile on his face. Or at least that was how you perceived it.  

“I didn’t invite you, jerk!” Stiles hissed through his clenched teeth, hands forming fists at his sides.  

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” Jeremy took a step to get closer to Stiles, face flushing red with anger at the prospect that Stiles was just ruining his non-existent chances with you. “You’re her boyfriend or some shit?”  

Jeremy’s words made you tense up instantly. “Some shit.” You mumbled while bringing your nearly empty cup to your lips, gulping the rest down greedily. As soon as the words left you, both their heads turned to look at you. You thought you would have been subtle or whispering but apparently not. The alcohol already getting to your head.  

Jeremy looked amused whereas Stiles’ eyes casted down to the floor briefly, not being able to make eye contact with you. Wow, that was new to him. Being shy and nervous around a girl. The last time he remembered being shy around a girl was probably in middle school when he had his first school dance and was about to ask a girl out. After that, he didn’t remember having any difficulties with the opposite sex. Naturally, Stiles was the most confident, outgoing and sarcastic person that you would probably ever meet, but around you he felt like he was none of those things. He felt weak when he was near you, feeling as though you had complete control over him and he didn’t know why or how he could stop it. It just was and he hated it.  

“You’re coming now or what?” Stiles asked you impatiently, trying to play over what you had said. You nodded and took his hand that he was holding out for you to take, so he could guide you through the mass of people to where you would play the games he was referring to. Before the both of you got to go away though he turned around to look over his shoulder to Jeremy. “Stay the fuck away from her, you hear me? If I as much as see you near her so help me God! Understood? Or else I am gonna break off an extra large branch, wrap it in barbed wire and shoved it up your pathetic asshole! Have I made myself clear?” Over the loud music you could barley understand Stiles, the only thing that you could make out though was that he looked angry as hell. The veins on his neck were protruding and his face was red as he spoke. Jeremy on the other hand lost his cocky smile and just nervously nodded. What did he say?  

“What was that about?” You asked him as he closed the distance between you.  

“Uh, nothing. Just told him that I really liked his shirt.”  

“Yeah, right. You think I’m that stupid?”  

“No, I don’t think you’re stupid at all. I just think that you don’t need to know everything.” He said as he pulled you towards a group of people that was already seated in a circle on the floor, out of the way from where people were dancing.  

You recognized a few people of Stiles’ group of friends and some unfamiliar faces. They all welcomed you and eventually someone, you guessed it was Scott, pulled you down to sit in the middle of him and Stiles. Great. Every cell in your body screamed for you to get up. You felt humiliated sitting between Stiles and one of his closest friends who had also been involved in the bet. You remembered seeing him in the doorframe that day, heavily drunk on a Tuesday morning. Stiles had probably told him everything about your night together and you didn’t know if he talked good or bad about it. You didn’t want to be there, but yet you didn’t make a move to get up, sitting cross legged on the floor next to Stiles, your knees brushing against one another.  

“Okay what do we wanna play first? ‘Spin the bottle’ or ‘never have I ever’?” A girl opposite of you asked.  

“Never have I ever!” Scott hollered excitedly and a few others joined.  

“Okay so just so everyone’s on the same page here.” The girl started. “Issac is going around and handing everyone something to drink, in the middle are also shots for everyone to grab freely. We are going clockwise and everyone needs to say something that they have never done before and everyone who has, needs to drink. That’s it basically… ready? Who wants to start?”  

Again Scott chimed in. “Me! I wanna start!” Oh my God he was basically a human puppy, you thought to yourself and couldn’t hide the small smile that grazed your lips. Out of the corner of your eyes you could see that Stiles was looking at you, watching your every move. “Okay, never have I ever had any kind of sexual contact in one of the toilet stalls on campus.”  

A few faces looked down in shame as they took their cups to their lips, one of them being Stiles. But in comparison to the others he didn’t look shameful, more amused or something along those lines.  

“Okay, Y/N you’re next.”  

“Uhm, okay, let me think… Never have I ever stolen something from someone close to me and not told them afterwards.”  

People started snickering and shaking their heads at you. You looked next to you seeing Stiles already watching you. There was something in his bright eyes that you couldn’t quite grasp. Was it admiration? Awe? Maybe even mischief? You didn’t know.  

You laughed awkwardly because no one began drinking. “What? Was that a bad question?”  

“Come on Y/N. You can do better than this! We wanna know all the dirty little secrets that any one of you, of us, has!” A boy answered. You guessed his name was Liam but you weren’t quite sure. You have seen him around campus before, but never really interacted with him. Also because he was younger than you.  

“Uhm, okay… then, how about… Never have I ever had a three-some?”  

“Yeah that’s better!” He nodded his head approvingly.  

Not to your surprise Stiles raised his cup to his lips, taking a sip… and so did two other girls that you didn’t know.  One didn’t have to be a genius to figure out what that meant. Some of his friends even cheered or gave him a pat on the shoulder when they were close enough. You huffed “Right. What did I expect?” But he hadn’t heard you or at least pretended that he hadn’t.  

“Never have I ever…” Stiles began talking. Wow I wonder if there even is something that he has never done before! “…had sex in one of my roommates beds.” That was were he drew the line? Seriously? Or was it just because the opportunity had never presented itself to him?  

“Oh my God, Scott! You better not tell me it was my bed!” Isaac yelled as he saw Scott drinking.  

“Or mine!” Stiles amd Liam said at the same time.  

The accused boy just chuckled lightly while still drinking and shrugged. “You know what? I don’t even wanna know.” Stiles said dismissively and scrunched his nose up in disgust.  

“Yeah, us neither!” The other two yelled.  

The next one was a girl who you knew from some of your lectures, her name was Sydney. “Never have I ever been the dominant one in the bedroom.”  

Nearly everyone drank. Stiles of course, but he quirked an eyebrow at you as you took a sip yourself. You just stared back provocatively.  

“Never have I ever slept with someone in this circle.” The girl next to Sydney said.  

You got sick to your stomach. People had already suspected that you had slept with Stiles but that would be a proof for them and you didn’t want to become the number one gossip again. But at least three people knew for sure that you did. Two of them sitting right next to you and you didn’t know if Scott or the others in their drunken state would call you out if you didn’t drink, making things impossibly more awkward. Or even Stiles! What if he would call you a liar?! You honestly didn’t know with him at this point.  

Stiles took a sip and so did the two girls that had the three-some with him, another girl drank and then another. But not another male drank, leaving just Stiles. Of course it could be that the other two girls had slept with one another, but from the looks they were giving Stiles this second it was unlikely. Now it was your turn. Your hand gripped the cup tighter, nearly crashing it. Arms slightly shaking, mouth going dry. You knew it before, but now it was proven that you were no better than any of the girls Stiles ever had something with. You had really thought that you would respect yourself more than this, but apparently you did  not.  

Stiles watched you carefully.  He sensed that you tensed after the question was asked, being completely frozen in place. He wouldn’t be mad if you wouldn’t drink. Why should he? He knew that you wanted to forget about it and he couldn’t blame you. He messed up and he knew it. Big time.  

Without overthinking it any further you reached in the middle of the circle grabbing a tiny glass with a clear liquid in it. You brought it to your mouth and let the alcohol burn your throat, savoring the warm feeling it left there. All eyes were on you now as you took another shot and another and another.  

“Woah there! Is that how often you did it?” Isaac asked you. Stiles sitting completely confused beside you, not understanding what you were doing.  

“Nope.” You popped the “p” as you spoke, already feeling tipsy. “This is just how badly I wanna forget about it.” You raised another glass in the air, cheering to yourself, winking at Stiles and gulping the alcohol down.  

“BURRRRN!” Liam hollered, barley able to contain his laughter. A few others joined in, whereas some of the girls looked at you disapprovingly, having just insulted their sex God or whatever.  

You reached out again as a strong veiny hand grabbed your wrist, holding your arm in place. “I think you made your point. You shouldn’t drink that much, you don’t look like you can handle much more.” Stiles said, but not angry. He sounded caring and understanding, but your already slightly drunken brain was even more sarcastic than your sober one.

“Mom? Is that you?” You asked, eyes going wide and you clutched your chest with your free hand in fake surprise.  

Everyone started laughing and Stiles just let go of your wrist with a huff. He understood where you were coming from. He didn’t even want to know how much you hated him, but for some reason it still hurt him. In years no girl was able to get under his skin like you did and he hated himself for messing everything up. But on the other hand his always prominent self doubts were creeping in on him. Self doubts that no one knew about. How could they? Everything about Stiles screamed confidence and complacency. He constantly asked himself that if none of this ever happened would he have a chance with you? And if so, did he really deserve you? Probably not. You were too good for him. Maybe the universe knew that too and let you hate him. No. That was not on the universe. That one was on him. Solely him and his stupidity. He didn’t even remember why he had been willing to take the bet in the first place.  

The game of “Never have I ever” was soon finished as everyone had asked a question. Everyone already slightly drunk at this point.  

“Now, ‘spinn the bottle’!” Isaac said while placing a bottle in the middle of the circle, shoving the tray with the shots on it to the side. “Okay, the one who’s spinning the bottle says what the person on whom the bottle points has to do. But you say it beforehand, that way no one can pick truth or dare and the game is a little spiced up, because there are always people just picking truth or dare and so everyone has to do whatever.” Isaac paused and looked around him. “Who wants to start?” No one made an indication to grab the bottle so eventually Isaac just shrugged and started himself. “On whom the bottle points has to go up and kiss a random stranger outside of our circle.” Isaac spun the bottle and it landed on Sydney who watched with wide eyes at its tip, damning it for stopping directly in front of her.  

“Do I have to?” She asked shyly and everyone around you nodded.  

“Those are the rules.” Isaac replied.  

“Uh, fine!” Sydney stood up begrudgingly and walked a few hesitant steps towards a small group of guys, chatting amongst themselves. Everyone from your little group watched her intently as she tucked her hair back behind her ear and looked over to you, shaking her head as if to tell that she couldn’t do it. You saw the helplessness on her face and therefore gave her an encouraging thumbs up and a big smile. Not much, but it apparently worked. Besides it was good for Sydney if she could come out of her shell a little. She turned around again and now walked with a bit more confidence. She started a conversation with one of the guys but they were too far away so you couldn’t understand what they were saying. And then out of the blue she just reaches forward and pulls this poor guy down by his collar, engulfing his lips in a heated kiss which he returned immediately. After a few seconds they broke apart. The guy looking a bit flustered but Sydney was smiling, turning around and coming back to you were she was welcomed again with a wave of applause. She thanked you all and then took the bottle in her hands.  

“Okay, I guess I have one.” She said, fidgeting with the bottle. “On whom the bottle points has to make out with the person to their right. And with make out I don’t mean just like a peck on the lips but like, you know, make out.”  

“Look at you!” Scott exclaimed. “All warmed up now, after that kiss. Good for you!” Sydney laughed as her face turned pink, then she spun the bottle. And it pointed at-

“Y/N!!!” Sydney and Liam both squealed at the same time.  

You swallowed the lump in your throat as you turned around to face the person next to you.  

“We don’t need to do this, Y/N.” Stiles whispered only for you to hear.  

“Could you speed this up a little?” A girl asked annoyed.  

Palms getting more clammy as the seconds got by. Stiles was staring into your eyes, asking you if you were okay with it. Honestly? You didn’t know. Would you be okay with this? Kissing Stiles again has been on your mind since things got ugly. Even then you still thought about how his lips on yours had felt. How they could set your whole body aflame, sending shocks of electricity through your entire body.  

You made up your mind and so you nodded. Stiles reached out and cupped your face in his hands and then finally leaned down and placed his lips on yours in a fiery kiss. This kiss was everything you had imagined and some. It was sweet. It was wild and messy. It had all the bottled up emotions in it that were now freely roaming between you two. There was hate, hurt, lust, vulnerability and care mixing into the kiss. Tongues visibly dancing and fighting for dominance. Your hands grabbed the front of his shirt, pulling him even closer, if at all possible. The kiss got more heated and you nearly forgot that you weren’t alone and that this was just for a game, not more. Oh God, how you wished it was more.  

Scott cleared his throat next to the both of you. “Get a room you two!” He chuckled and that was what made you both pull apart. “Wow, am I the only one literally feeling the sexual tension in the air right now?” Scott asked the others and they just stifled laughs and nodded, confirming his statement.  

“Scott, shut it, would you?” Stiles said and you could feel your face heat up. “Okay, moving on.” He clapped his hands together and gave you the bottle. You sighed and took it from him.  

“On whom the bottle points has to tell us about the last time they had sex.” You spun the bottle and it pointed at a girl who you didn’t know.

The game dragged on for another hour or so. Nothing really interesting happening anymore. Your mind was clouded with the kiss you and Stiles had shared and you had to catch yourself a few times in order not to break out in tears at any given moment. You were a wreck. How could you still feel so strongly about him? Why did he still have you wrapped around his finger? Why was everything so confusing? On top of all these confusing emotions, your head was spinning slightly. After all the shots you had you had still kept on drinking. A mistake as you realized now.  

“You okay? You don’t look so good, Y/N.” Scott asked you in a worried tone.  

“Where’s the bathroom?” You asked as you sprung to your feet. Another mistake because you stumbled and out of pure instinct grabbed Stiles’ shoulders to steady yourself.  

“It’s just down the hall and then it’s the first door to your right.” Stiles answered instead of Scott. “Don’t you want me to come with?”  

You didn’t even answer him as you burst away and in the direction that Stiles had described to you. Soon you were bending over the toilet and emptying your stomach to a good extent. A few minutes passed by and you closed the lid and sat atop of it, hearing a faint knock coming through the door.  

“You okay in there?” Stiles.  

“No.” You slurred, nearly falling from the toilet as exhaustion was crashing down on you like a collapsing building. “M’so tiiiired.” You yawned.  

Stiles opened the door hesitantly and looked at your half asleep form, sitting on top of the toilet lid. He chuckled. “Don’t we know our boundaries, eh?”  

“Oh, shut up!”  

“Okay, come here.” He took you up bridal style, pushed the bathroom door open with his foot and carried you up the stairs to his shared dorm. 

“You know," you slurred as Stiles struggled to pull one shoe after the other off your feet. "I still like you." Stiles' movements faltered. He looked up where you were laying on his bed. Head propped on your hand, elbow digging into his mattress. Your eyes were glossy and only half open, as if you would fall asleep any second which was probably not so far-fetched. "I know pathetic, right?" You laughed bitterly, causing Stiles to look down in shame. He got up from his knees, grabbed the blanket that laid beside you and draped it over your body. He had debated whether or not he should change your clothes and give you a shirt of his own to sleep in, but in your drunken state you weren't able to change alone anymore and even though he had already seen you naked, he figured it wouldn't sit well with you if he did that. The room fell silent and Stiles thought that you were already asleep, even though your head still rested on your hand. It looked rather uncomfortable to him. He was already on his way out of the room, hand hovering over the light switch, when you started talking again. "Maybe, maybe it's true," you said. Words so slurry that Stiles had a hard time deciphering what you were saying. He turned around again, seeing that you had finally laid your head on his pillow. You looked at him, he wasn't sure but it looked like you were crying, so he moved in your direction again, kneeling down beside his bed once more. Your hand reached out to take his and he gladly gave it to you. Your skin was soft under his touch and it freaked him out how comforting it felt to hold your delicate hand in his. Stiles looked up at your face again, now he could see that you were definitely crying and the sight broke his heart into a million pieces, no matter how much he damned it for it.  

"What's true?" He asked you, brushing a loose strand of hair out of your face and tucking it behind your ear.  

"That, that we only accept the love we think we deserve." You squeezed his hand slightly, another bitter laugh escaping your parted lips. More tears flowing as you tried to blink them away. "Maybe that's why I still like you. Maybe I think that I deserve to hurt like this, to be treated that way." You shrugged, expression becoming more serious, eyebrows knitted together as your drunken brain tried to wrap itself around the meaning of what you just said. "Maybe, maybe that's the reason you refuse to love, Stiles. Maybe you think you aren't worthy of anyone loving you. That you don't deserve love."  

"Stiles, is that you?" Stiles winced at his father's voice. No lights were on, but Stiles could tell that his father's voice came from the living room. He probably passed out on the couch again.  

For a second, Stiles thought about not answering and quietly rushing up to his room, but he knew that this wasn't a good option either. He had tried it so many times before, knowing now that it only made things worse.  

"It's me, dad."  

Footsteps were closing in on his position at the door, his initial reaction being to just yank the door open again and run, but he also had already tried that and again the punishment was worse than what he knew was inevitably coming. He'd learned to abandon every natural instinct of escaping.  

"Where the hell have you been?" His father slightly slurred as he came out of the shadows and stood right in front of the frightened little boy. "I asked, where the hell you've been!"  

Stiles voice was trembling as he spoke, afraid of what was undoubtfully to come. "I – I was at Scott's we had – we had some school stuff to do and – and we kinda lost track of time." He put his arms above his head in hopes to protect himself, already anticipating the pain that was sure to come. "I am sorry, dad!" Tears were streaming down his cheeks.  

"You worthless piece of shit!" The first blow came crashing down on him, another hitting him in the stomach, leaving him on the floor, gasping for air. "Get out of my fucking sight!" Another kick to the rips, even though he was already lying on the floor.  

Ever since Stiles' mom had died his father tried to escape reality through whisky bottle after whisky bottle. He lost his job, became more aggressive and eventually lost every control he still had over his life whatsoever, telling Stiles repeatedly that he was worth nothing and was just a waste of space, until Stiles eventually believed it himself. He gave up hope about his situation ever becoming normal again, to get the loving father back that he knew was still somewhere in there. He gave up, simply because he started to believe the hurting words that escaped his father's lips every day again. He was worthless and would forever be worthless. He deserved to suffer, he was sure of it. At least that was what he's been told ever since he was only ten years old.  

Stiles shook his head, trying to get the images that were hunting him out of his head.  

"What happened to you? What happened to you that made you like this?" You untangled your now intertwined fingers and Stiles immediately missed feeling your skin on his. The comforting feeling leaving with your touch. "Why are you like this?" Your now free hand reached out to cup his right cheek, the feeling of comfort immediately returning. "Tell me..." You were still pretty drunk, but it seemed that your mind had cleared a little.  

"I think you should sleep." As if his words triggered something within you, you yawned and nestled your face deeper into his fluffy pillow in order to get more comfortable. Stiles took that as his cue to get up from the floor and leave you alone, but before he could even stand straight, you reached out for his hand again. Tucking at it.  

"Don't leave." Your voice was only a whisper at this point. "Please."  

"You sure?"  

You hummed, scooting back slightly so he could lay beside you. Stiles laid down, sharing the pillow with you. The both of you were so close that he could feel your hot breath ghosting over his face. A lazy smile grazed your lips, seeming contradictory to your tear stained face. Your eyes fluttered close, but before you fell asleep you were still able to mutter three words that made his stomach do flips.  

"You deserve love."

Part 3: More Tears & More Heartbreak

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[notnaturalanahi]

What Kinda Lame Name For a Demon is Dean?

Characters: 1st person Gender neutra!lReader, Demon!Dean, nameless Demon, OC’s (also unnamed). It can be a Demon!Dean x Reader if you want to.

Wc: 3167 (consider this a long drabble)

Warnings: Foul language, drinking, violence, blood, death (minor character), loose ends and loopholes, open ending. 

[This is a crack fic, don’t lose sleep over it]

Summary: I decide to stop  for a drink on my way home and it’s defenitely not what I expected for a wednesday night.

A/N: This piece is my entry for @evansrogerskitten Ash’s Hottest Dean Challenge my prompt is bolded in the text and there’s also a gif. I have so much writing this one. It was supposed to be a drabble of this scene that popped into my mind, but it turned out into this cracky/action thing. 

Unbetad, brace yoourselves for mistakes.

Check out my Masterlist - Also you can Join my TAGlist - Or Talk to me, gimme some feedback

Whatever, love you. bye!

The weather’s chilly and drizzly tonight, from where I’m sitting at the counter I have the perfect view of the dark night and the empty street outside. Well, empty with the exception of the occasional car that rolls by with the windshield wipers mid speed or the passerby covered head to toe and carrying an umbrella or a few street dogs… Okay, maybe not that empty. Anyway,  since I forgot my umbrella and only realized it after I got off work I decided to make a stop when I saw the bar down the street from my office was open. This first half of the week had been dreadful, so I deserve a drink to cut short the week.

Staring at my drink in hand I reconsider my previous plans. I made the decision as I walked into the establishment that I would only have two drinks, but now as I contemplate the last of the 2nd one I find my mouth itching for more, maybe just a 3rd or even a 4th after that one… I know I shouldn’t, I have an early morning tomorrow and I should be at home right now finishing with the retouches of my thesis. It’s been a long way but I think after the professor’s last corrections it’s gonna be perfect… so yeah, I’m going home.

A sudden chill runs down my spine, as if a cold breeze hit my skin or someone breathed right behind my back, twisting my neck I see noone. The front door remains closed, a big clock above it telling me it’s 8:45pm. Taking in my surrounding for the first time since I walked in 30 minutes ago I see the bar is almost deserted. To my left, a happy looking couple, too immersed in their own conversation, looking super cute together, sitting on the same side of the booth. To the right a drunkard nursing on his beer, eyes looking beyond anything, right into the astral plane. Also somewhere around the back is the bartender, a middle-age guy who looks like he’d rather be anywhere but here.

Sighing I look up and notice the amount of dirt in my glasses, I’ve lost count of how many times a day I had to wipe them today, I snatch a paper napkin from the metallic holder while removing them from my face and proceed to carefully rub the lenses. Once I finish I put them back on. Why can I just not wear glasses, what’s the meaning of having eyes if they’re not gonna work properly?

Ugh, the story of my life.

I shiver again and take it as a cue, in one semi-large chug I throw back the rest of my vodka, grimacing at the scolding sensation traveling down my esophagus and I know I’m gonna regret that in five minutes or less, my stomach’s not gonna let me forget about it. Immediately I fish onto my bag for my ever evanescent wallet. When I find it, I pull a big enough bill to cover for both my drinks and a very, very modest tip -sorry to the bartender but as student/trainee I don’t have much to spare-. And slide the sleeves of my jacket over my arms, followed by the strap of the crossbody bag before jumping off the barstool.

Apparently my eyes were closed or maybe I’ve fallen asleep while moving; I don’t know I’m tired, it’s been a long day, because I only notice the tall man standing right next to me when my face collides with the solid, yet tender wall of muscles that is his wide chest. I open my eyes.

“Oh shit! Sorry, I didn’t see you there. Almost like you appeared outta nowhe-” I can’t help it, I look up adjusting my glasses already fuming at the back of my head cause I will have to wipe them again and my words cut short, I swallow the rest of my apology down. At the end of broad shoulders and resting above a thick neck I find an extremely handsome face. Jawline for days, covered with sexy scruff. Plump lips -cocksure smirk- slightly crooked nose, deep, deep green/ hazel eyes that stare down at me and all of that served with a side of freckles dusted all over.

So hot, I hate him.

He just stares, smug smile and wrinkly eyes. He’s wearing more layers than a normal person needs tonight -it’s not that cold- and his hair is combed to the side.

“Leaving already?” obviously he ignores my apology.  

I blink the salacious thoughts away and focus on his piercing gaze “It’s late,” I explain plain and simple.

I attempt to sidestep him but apparently somewhere in the middle our four words conversation he laid an arm on the back of my old chair, successfully trapping me between himself and the unmovable counter.  I look back up and of course the mother fucker knows what he’s doing, a mischievous glimpse sparkles in his eyes.

I sigh, dramatically.

“Look I’m flattered. A tall, hot guy like you coming up to me. But hooking up is not why I’m in here tonight. So I dunno. Maybe we can exchange numbers, you know… get a raincheck. You can call me on the weekend? Tonight I have plenty to do, and unfortunately you’re not on the list.” I know he hasn’t say anything and I’m rambling a little. But certainly I don’t give a shit. Perhaps I did some time ago but at this point in my life, I don’t anymore.

He chuckles. A hand comes up and I still myself because I have no idea what’s so funny or what his intentions are. Thick and long fingers -I gulp at the sight- pass through his mane, pushing it all back and I think he looks even better that way than styled to the side.

“What?” I ask while trying to push his arm off the metallic bar at the back of the stool, realizing how solid it is, pure fucking muscle. My hand pulls at it but nothing happens.

“Dollface, I’m not here to flirt and sleep with you,” he states, “although I wouldn’t say no to you,” he adds giving me a once over and throwing a chin shrug to the mix.

When he stops talking my eyes shoot up, no longer entertained with the way my fingers look hooked around his forearm, or how the tips don’t touch each other as I wrap them around his wrist. With a coked eyebrow I demand to know what he means.

“I’m here to kill you,” he simply says, like it’s nothing.

I back away a little and snort at his joke. It’s gotta be a joke right… Who comes up to someone they don’t know at a bar and tell them they’re gonna kill them?

I let out a chuckle that I can’t hold in and he joins me. Our laughter increasing by the second and soon we engage in a full body laugh, belly shaking and I let my hand lay on his firm chest because I need to feel that firmness again. All of the sudden he stops laughing, I’m too busy to notice though, cackling away. Both my hands now on his chest, supporting my weight missing the way he leans in forcing me to bend backwards until my back hits the barstool.

My eyes flutter open and his face is right there, deadpan expression. “I’m serious,” he hisses, hot breath fanning my face.

“Okay,” I gush rolling my eyes.

His gaze drops, entrusting me to do the same and as I follow his line of sight down his chest and hairless stomach, up to the waistband of his jeans where he’s pulling the hem of his shirts up for me to see… and Oh. My. God! That belt’s kinda low around his hips and ugh they’re so narrow. Why are his hips so narrow? Is this how he wants to kill me?

Sign me up, please!

His hand let go of the fabric and it lowers down, my eyes widen because I think he’s gonna open his fly or something and flash me and I don’t know if I wanna see that … not here at least.  Except what I see is the handle of a knife, a blade that seems to be made out wood or bone or something… Eesh!

“Are those teeth?” I slap myself mentally, seriously though? The guy it’s showing me his lower abdomen and a knife, of curse the knife is actually what matters! I compel myself to stop looking, because as alluring that sight may be, he just told me he was here to kill me. Closing my eyes I lift my head to I can look at him in the eyes and-

“FUCK! Your eyes are totally black. Are you aware of that?”

He only nods.

“Okay it’s that because some medical condition or some like that and I’m being a total asshole for bringing it up. I’m so sorry!”

“I’m a demon,” he says with a malicious smile.

“Whaaaaaaat? No you’re not!”

He sighs, not even trying to conceal this exasperation,and with a blink his eyes go back to the normal deep green -yeah I’m gonna go with green- and he signals to the bartender, asking for a whiskey when the server gets closer.

“Hey!” I complain and he quickly changes his order from one to two. “Thanks! If you’re gonna kill me, at least buy me a drink first… like common courtesy,” I joke.

Breathing through his nose he pulls the barstool next to the one we were standing by and sits down. He’s so tall he only needs to move his ass to the side and he’s sitting. Me on the other hand, almost need crampons to climb into that thing like the first time, but I make it just in time to see the bartender deliver our drinks and some peanuts.

“I’m assuming you know everything about me, or at least enough… I mean, you’re sure I’m the one you wanna kill?” I say.

“I’m sure,” he answers before his lips latched to the glass.

“Oh-kay…you have a name?”

“Dean.”

“Dean, Really?”

“What the hell’s wrong with my name?”

“Nothing it’s just… Kinda lame ain’t it. I was hoping for a Moloch or Aemon or I don’t know… errr Abaddon?”

He gives me a killer look. “Dean’s fine though… Yeah, or perhaps you could also go with Deacon. Deacon has more of a demonic charm I think.” Dean makes a sound, kinda like a growl or something. “Okay, okay. Dean!”

“So what’s the deal, Dean. How’s this gonna happen? You gonna get me drunk and stab me with your big bone?”

He turns to face me, smirking, lines appearing in his forehead because of his questioning eyebrows. A horse laugh escapes me when I realize what I said, but I cut myself, this is not a funny situation.

“I mean, you come in here, pretend you wanna sleep with me and at the last second you drop this bomb on me and that’s it? When you gonna do it or why?” I move my bag from the middle and start removing my jacket.

“Shut up,” he commands. Breathing deeply he combs his hair with his hand again and looks at me sternly.

“Fine,” I complay and bite my lips into my mouth and turn to hang my jacket on the back of my seat, sitting forward in silence. He has the knife, so I should do as he says I guess. Taking a peanut from the bowl I play with it, rolling it around my fingers. Pulling that little tip of and chewing it with my front teeth.

I open my mouth to say something, closing it right away because I don’t even know what to say. I take the small rimmed glass in front of me and take a big gulp almost spitting it all out instantly. “God, I hate whiskey.” After that we both remain silent for I’m not sure how long until I can’t take it anymore and I jump off the stool.

He does the same and stands right in front of me. “I’m just gonna go to the restroom,” I tell him, lifting my right hand up as promise.

“How do I know you’re not gonna run on me?”

“If I do run, would you come after me, find me?” I allow my hand to lay on his arm, enjoying the way his muscles twist under my touch.

“I will,” Dean promises, roaring near my face.

“Then it’s useless for me to run. I’m gonna pee, if I don’t come out in… let’s say 4 minutes you can come looking for me.” With a couple of soft slaps on the side of his arm I walk past him and towards the restrooms, not even looking back to see if he’s watching me because I can totally feel the way his eyes pierced a hole in the back of my head.

Once in the restroom I sigh and closed the door behind me. Apparently I’m dying tonight… That’s happening. Shit!

Bending down to take a good looks in the stalls I check all of them are empty. I don’t like going to the bathroom with people sitting right next to me where they can hear everything I do. I pick the one on the far back and do what I have to do. I can see the stains all over my glasses again but chose not to wipe them to hurry it up a little just in case. When I get out I go to wash my hands and I hear the door sing open. The bar was empty so of course I assume Dean came to check on me.

“Hey it’s been like 2 minutes, you could have a little more trust in me. I told you I wasn’t gonna run,” I joke to my killer because that’s how I am and rinse the foam of my hands. “Besides, the moment I start running I will trip over my own feet and that’d be it for me,” I add while giggling but the second I lift my gaze from the jet of water I see someone else. A man, definitely not Dean standing right behind me at the sinks.

I turn around, my eyes scan his tall form, and head to toes black attire. He blinks and his eyes match his clothes.

“Fuck!” I try to go for the door, but he’s quicker than me -of course- and steps in my way, pulling my head and throwing me back. I stagger but surprisingly I keep my feet on the ground, his large hand lands on my throat and he’s pushing me to walk back, until my back hits the wall of the first stall.

My hands grip around his forearm, but no matter how much force I apply his grip won’t loosen, he’s a lot stronger than I am -not that that’s so hard to accomplish.

“I already have a demon here to kill me,” I force myself to speak through his hold, maybe he doesn’t know about Dean.

My eyes are starting to get lazy though and the blurry spots appear in my line of vision. The bathroom door whips open, crashing against the wall and closing again due to the forced and I’m able to see Dean walking towards us.

“A demon,” I scream, although I know it’s barely a whisper and I’m not really sure Dean can hear me, but I point to the demon with my finger, so he can catch my drift.

Dean retrieves the bone knife with teeth from his jeans and launches for this other demon, who ducks in time and he toss me aside, as if I were just a piece of paper. I land with my side of a trash can, wailing in pain.

The new demon, flashes from under his sleeve a long silver pointy knife, and it makes me wonder what’s with demons and funny shaped knives. It’s that like a trend?

They both stand right in front of each other, like facing a duel or something. “All you Abaddon groupies are the same, you know that?” Dean asks rhetorically.

Wow, Abaddon does exist it’s not just mythological!

“You can’t just can’t accept that the queen is dead, can you?” Dean continuous.

Oh, and it’s she and she’s dead. I sit up because I never in my life thought I see a demon, less of all two demons ready to duel… Will they count their steps?

“Maybe we just can’t accept that a douche like you was the one who killed her,” the other demon spits with anger.

It doesn’t truly surprise to know it was Dean who killed her. He does look like the guy who’d take down a  big bad legendary demon. “Ah. Yeah, that’s got to hurt, doesn’t it?”

That was too cocky, Dean should learn to be a little more humble.

The fight it’s quick, the other demon, swings to get Dean with his pointy knife but Dean is faster -ugh soooooo hot!- and blocks his move, spinning him around and jabbing his bone, teethy knife into his chest. I gasp, unintentionally when orange light shoots from the demon’s eyes and chest.

Then Dean let his body fall to the ground once he’s dead and blood start pooling around his body. I get up as fast as I can, I don’t want his blood to touch me. Dean looks at me, not even preneting he’d help me get up and nods towards me.

“I’m okay,” I raps clearing my voice. My throat feels swollen already.

He comes closer to me, his hand moving up and I freeze because he’s gonna kill me. He’s gonna do it and my last words were I’m okay, so lame. At last second his warm palm rests on my chest, fingers inspecting the bruises forming around my neck and I open my eyes.

“Let’s go somewhere you and me,” he says close to my face. I blink dumbfounded.

“What, you and me?” I swallow, the soreness of my throat still there. “Where?”

“I dunno, anywhere,” he shrugs, bending over to clean his knife of the dead demon clothes.

“You wanna kill me,” I refresh his memory in case he’s forgotten.

“I just save your life,” he defends.

“I guess you’re right, I’m still alive. But what are the chances of that becoming a thing?” I caress my own neck, whining in pain.

“Let me ask you this. If I really wanted to kill you, wouldn’t’ve done it by now?”

It’s my turn to shrug. “I guess.”

“Let’s go. You should get some ice on that neck before it gets worse,” Dean says, his hand on my lower back as he hold the bathroom door open for me and leads me towards the back door of the bar.

Everything: 

@nadiandreu7, @thegreatficmaster (no Sam/Jared), @mogaruke, @samisimportant, @ria132love, @donnaintx, @feelmyroarrrr, @just-another-busy-fangirl, @love-kittykat21, @emilyymichelle, @walkingkhaleesi, @imagining-supernatural, @kdfrqqg, @charliebradbury1104, @thedevilinthedetails, @docharleythegeekqueen, @artprincessbree, @mrswhozeewhatsis, @tardis-full-of-fallen-angels, @supernatural-girl97, @sam-inaflannel, @sammys-lost-shoe, @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester, @nanie5, @roxyspearing, @emoryhemsworth, @rambling-rabbit, @akshi8278, @meganwinchester1999, @geekgirl1213, @maui137, @creepykatftw @novakfandoms, @waywardasfudge, @kickasscas67, @spnwoman, @tattooedmomster13, @yoursmilemakesmeloveyou, @asgardianvamp21, @michell868,

@possesstheheart, @thatpeachybandgirl, @read-the-reid, @supernaturalmistress @jensen-gal, @its-my-perky-nipples, @esoltis280,

Dean/Jensen: 

@missmotherhen, @valerieshubin, @chennyetomlinson, @justanotherdeangirl, @jennell79, @ruprecht0420, @jalove-wecallhimdean, @evyiione, @laurafloradora, @fanfreak07, @superapplepie, @wingedcatninja, @sandlee44, @plaidstiel-wormstache, @lessons-of-red, @supernatural-fan-123, @mandilion76, @blackcherrywhiskey, @akshi8278, @papertrailsstrewnacrossthefloor, @shut-ur-face-and-get-in-the-car, @aly-winchester, @winchesterdemon67, @supernatural-strangerthings-1980

[rowanstories-blog]

The Path of Ink

Finally, a moment's peace. Kian leaned back in his dorm room chair and pushed his shoulders against the wooden frame, stretching them apart in preparation. Any physical activity required some form of warm-up; bodybuilders, endurance runners, swimmers, golfers, they all let their muscles stretch out beforehand for maximum efficiency. Sure, he wouldn't be running a two minute mile or two hour marathon sitting on the rickety chair of a dimly lit room, but he still planned to be active, just in a more focused, precise manner.

He leaned forward, letting his eyes fall onto the unopened sketchbook before him. It sat under the single desk lamp's spotlight, almost glowing with how white its pages still were. That would soon change. Kian had to make that change. When Kiara from class AR101 asked him about his artistic history, his mouth made some big claims before his brain could remember that anything more than a stick figure never turned out right on the page, and even the stick figures had about a 40% success rate. He sighed. If Kiara saw his current work ability, she'd realize his lies and never see him the same. If he was to keep up his position in her eyes, he'd have to do a lot more practice than the homework required.

With a triumphant breath in, he grabbed the pen, borrowed from his art-loving father, and flipped the sketchbook open. The pen's side glinted in the light as his hand positioned it for optimal drawing, the symbols on its side almost flashing with the movement. Kian took a moment to appreciate that he had access to pens that were far more fancy and expensive than those that banks and other school sponsors gave out by the fistful. This pen didn't need to advertise anything on it, not even itself; it knew it was good quality. The glyphs on the side were a decoration, nothing more.

The pen glided across the paper as Kian lightly sketched out the shape of the tissue box hidden in the shadows of his desk. At times he wished for an eraser, but the professor of AR101 made it very clear on the first day of class that learning to draw without an undo ability would help them greatly in the end. He focused on remembering all the advice that the professor gave during her lecture, about the basic forms of objects becoming refined over time as the strokes became darker and more defined.

A phone alarm beeped, signaling the end of his hour of drawing. Kian leaned back again, taking in the full view of his sketch. It was awful. Truly hideous, even by his standards. The lines of the box didn't match up right, there was no sense of perspective, shadows seemed random at best and intentionally misplaced at worst. He considered trying again, but once his pen stopped moving, he felt a deep ache in his hand. He clearly hadn't stretched enough for this feat after all.

With a defeated breath, he decided to try again in the morning, before class. If he woke up early, he would have time for a second attempt before AR101.

---

Kian did not wake up early. He made the mistake that all freshman of college do: believing that their still-growing bodies will accept being jolted awake by a phone alarm at a ridiculously early hour to get work done. By the time that his body accepted wakefullness and let his eyes open, he had twenty minutes to get to the art studio on the opposite side of campus.

As he slipped through the studio doors five minutes late, he tried to calm his heart, beating quickly both from running and the worry that Kiara would see his work. That was an unfounded worry, he reasoned to himself. He just needed to not sit next to her, so she wouldn't see his sketch as the professor went around.

"Kian Ruker," the professor called out as he tried to slide into a seat in the back. "There's no need to be shy on the second day. Come up here, sit with the rest of the class."

Professor Romera tapped her pen on the front of an open spot at one of the studio tables. Kiara's studio table. Of course.

He could say no, or just leave, he thought. But no, in reality, he didn't truly have those options. His body would never let him be so free-willed, and his brain would shut down from the social pressure of rebelling. After a moment's pause, his feet brought him to the free seat, slumping down in an attempt to be as unnoticeable as possible.

"Kian, you made it!" Kiara whispered to him as Professor Romera continued talking about expectations and whatnot. "I can't wait to see what you did."

He gave a quick nod and turned away, trying not to let her beautiful eyes see his face turn red.

After ten minutes of talking that felt like an eternity sitting on an electric chair, the professor announced that she would be looking at the hour-timed practice sketches from the night before. A uniform rustling of papers sounded out as the students pulled out their sketchbooks. Kian briefly considered claiming to have lost his.

"Here you go, Kian," Kiara said with a glowing smile, handing him his sketchbook from under his seat.

"Thanks," he stammered, plan ruined.

Professor Romera towered above them, looking down in judgement. "Kiara, good work. You really have an eye for form. Your shadows are a bit disjointed, but that's nothing that practice won't fix. Try to use a very harsh light to get a good idea for where they land next time." She turned her head. "Kian, please open your sketchbook."

The thoughts of refusing, running, or even eating his terrible work came up in quick succession, but his hands betrayed him through their obedience of authority. The sketchbook opened, cover slapping down on the table, reminding Kian of what a guillotine would probably sound like as it thudded on the wooden block beneath its victim.

"Oh my..." Professor Romera said.

"Well, I-"

"...this is excellent work!"

Kian jolted a bit, completely caught off guard as he stared up at her.

"You clearly have a lot of practice with art. Honestly, you may be above what AR101 can teach you. What's your experience?"

"He was the senior art lead at his high school," Kiara said, echoing his lie from their last class. "Now I see why!"

"I do as well," the professor said with a chuckle. "But don't get cocky now, there's always ways to improve." With that, she continued down the line of tables, giving feedback on all the sketches in the open books.

Kiara gave him a light hit on the shoulder, catching his attention. "You really are talented! To be honest, I didn't think of you as the artistic type before, but maybe you could teach me some tricks later?"

Kian stammered out an agreement, and Kiara giggled happily. Was he crazy? Why did everyone think his terrible drawing was good? Did he really understand art so badly that he somehow made a great art form, like Picasso? He turned away from Kiara and looked down at his sketchbook to try and piece together the puzzle. Instead, he saw another mystery.

A near perfect photo-rendition of his tissue box filled the page. Light cross-hatching of lines, evenly spaced, filled the areas of shadow in a way that balanced perfectly with the lightening of lines in highlighted areas. It looked less like a drawing and more like an Instagram filter designed to make photos look hand-drawn.

Professor Romera began addressing the class again. She told them to put their sketchbooks away, so they would focus on her lecture. Kian did as instructed, but his brain wandered the entirety of class, trying to find some explanation that made sense.

---

As Kian sat down in the back of the campus cafeteria, he pulled his sketchbook out from his bag and flipped it open to the perfect drawing. Did he somehow switch sketchbooks with someone? No, this was clearly a rendition of his tissue box, bent side and all. To be sure, he pulled the cover back over the drawing. Clear as day, the name section read KIAN RUKER. A green sketchbook, 100 pages, opening from the top, with his name, and his tissue box's likeness. It was his, all right.

He pulled his pen from his pocket and decided to draw something new. The pizza slice in front of him looked like a good choice. He had no plans to eat it; he grabbed it out of habit but lost his appetite from the whole sketchbook business. For the next half hour, he focused intently on transferring its likeness to the page, experimenting with the cross hatch method the new tissue box drawing used. It turned out terribly, of course, but it did look a bit better than the attempt from last night.

"Hey!" a voice called out from behind him. He closed the sketchbook immediately, turning back. The table behind him greeted a passerby, the group shouting at each other about fraternity plans and annoying professors.

Kian sighed, mentally reprimanding himself for being so jumpy. He opened the sketchbook to resume his pizza drawing. There was no need to finish it, he quickly learned. Just like the tissue box drawing, the pizza had become photo-realistic. This time, however, there was another change. Just beneath the pizza, Kian saw the words "looks good" written in a handwriting completely unlike his own.

He paused, considering what to do. His rational brain said to throw the sketchbook in the trash and be done with it, but he felt a deep curiosity well up from places in himself that he hadn't felt in years.

"Thanks, it's pretty good," he wrote on the page, just below the previous comment. He closed the sketchbook, waited a moment, and opened it back up again.

"It's been a while since I've had pizza," a new comment read.

His heart skipped a beat. He looked around, seeing all the people around him. He felt a strong mix of concern and security; he worried that someone would see what was happening, but felt safe knowing that if any strangeness happened, he would not be alone in the dark woods or the basement or something. After all, what horror story begins in a crowded cafeteria? Well, he didn't actually know the answer, seeing as he hated horror, but he had a good feeling that they didn't favor crowded and brightly lit areas.

"Who are you?" he wrote, closing the sketchbook and opening it again.

"Did you like my work earlier? Kiara liked it, I bet."

His heart sank into his stomach. "How do you know about that?"

"Relax, I'm helping, aren't I? It gets awfully boring where I am."

"Where are you?"

"You wouldn't understand, so stop asking."

Before Kian could reply, his eyes caught sight of the clock, arms pointed at ten past one. MA100 started five minutes ago! All thoughts about the talking sketchbook flew out of his mind, replaced with the hurried rush of putting everything away and sprinting to the lecture hall.

---

That night, after journaling in his personal marble notebook, as he did every night, Kian pulled out the sketchbook. He felt afraid to in the darkness of his room, but he had to in order to do his homework. Plus, despite the fear, the deep curiosity still bubbled within him.

"Way to just run off on me. I thought we were bonding," the writing said on a new page. A small but very accurate drawing of a frowning face punctuated the sentence.

"Sorry," Kian wrote, thinking to himself how silly it felt to apologize to a piece of paper. "I was late for class."

"It's fine. I'm used to not doing much. Are you going to give me another crap drawing to fix?"

"No need to be rude about it."

"Realistic, not rude. It's just not your talent. We all have things we're crap at."

"What are you crap at?"

"Having a physical form, for one," the reply read, next to a small drawing of a laughing audience.

So it has a sense of humor, Kian thought to himself. "What should I call you?"

"Whatever you want, I don't really care."

He thought for a second. "I want to call you something. Is Estes okay?" He remembered the name from an art history project from high school, belonging to a photo-realistic painter.

"Cool, I have a name now. Estes it is. Whoopie." The final word had droplets drawn on it. It took Kian a moment to realize it was a visual version of words 'dripping with sarcasm.'

Before Kian wrote down his reply and closed the sketchbook, the ink of the page shifted, creating a reply before his eyes for the first time.

"Anyway, if you'd like me to keep helping out with Kiara, I'm gonna need a favor," Estes wrote.

A favor? Kian felt a sudden chill through his spine. "What kind of favor?"

"Don't worry, I'm not going to steal your soul," Estes wrote next to a drawing of a devil with an X over it. "We can talk about that later. Just say you'll be open to it, and I'll keep helping with your drawings."

Kian paused. On the one hand, offering a favor to a sketchbook sounded like a really bad idea. On the other, if the drawings suddenly turned back to crap, Kiara would never look at him again, and he'd have to suffer three times a week in class with her on top of the constant suffering of losing any chance with her.

"Okay," he finally wrote.

"Great," Estes wrote. "Now let's get drawing."

---

Over the next few weeks, Kian became rather fond of Estes. He already loved journaling, since he had done it every day for several years, but being able to write to something that replied immediately gave him so much more satisfaction. He kept up the personal journal out of habit, but opened up to Estes about some aspects of his daily life. Estes had a dry sense of humor, which Kian enjoyed, and while it never said so outright, it seemed to really appreciate having a view of the world outside of "the formless place," as Estes called it.

The drawing plan worked perfectly with Kiara. He sat down next to her each class, showing her the drawings that he started and Estes refined. He worried when she followed him into the cafeteria the first time in order to watch his methods, but between him distracting her with conversation and Estes working fast to fix his lines, she didn't seem to notice anything strange happening on his paper. She continued going with him to the cafeteria, less for drawing practice and more for just speaking with him.

After two months of hanging out casually, Kian was ready. With some encouragement and advice from Estes, he managed to keep his cool with her enough to ask her on an official date.

"Of course!" she said with her glowing smile. They arranged for a dinner that evening before the clock forced her to leave for class.

"Estes!" Kian scrawled down, hurried in his excitement. "She said yes!"

"I told you confidence is key," Estes replied, the words circling a drawing of a key.

"Thank you so much," he wrote back, feeling like a superhero with a secret ally.

"Do you remember what I asked of you before?"

Kian paused. The words from their last conversations had turned into later replies and drawings, so he couldn't look back to see.

"I asked if I could have a favor, in exchange for helping with Kiara. You're going out, so I think it's favor time, don't you?"

The memory came back to him. The last time he saw Estes ask about a "favor," he felt his heart freeze and race all at once. Now, however, he considered Estes a type of friend, always knowing what to say to help him out. "I remember," he replied. "What is the favor?"

"Come closer," Estes replied.

Kian leaned close to the page, expecting some tiny written humor from Estes.

His vision suddenly filled with the face of a wolf, lunging at him, teeth bared and mouth opening as it rushed toward his face. Kian flinched in shock, his hand jolting and sending the tip of the pen into his arm.

The wolf vanished as quickly as it appeared, replaced by the image of a laughing child.

Kian pulled the pen out from his lower arm, shaking off bits of blood on the tip from where it pierced his skin. "Not funny!" he scrawled, the black ink mixing with the red.

"Sorry," Estes replied with a sad wolf image. "Just trying to prepare you for anything. Dates can be stressful, after all."

"There won't be any wolves."

"But there will be a romantic interest, and that's even scarier."

He rolled his eyes. "What about this favor?"

"I was just joking about that," Estes replied. "Go have fun."

Kian caught sight of the clock, noting that it was getting dangerously close to math lecture time. He continued to chitchat with Estes for the remaining few minutes he had before packing everything up and heading off. He spent the trip thinking about his later date, ignoring the throbbing in his arm where the pen had stuck into him.

---

The sun set and evening arrived, and with it came a feeling of absolute panic for Kian. His sketchbook laid open as he searched his dorm closet for something presentable, something that would really wow Kiara on their first official date. Estes filled the visible pages with types of acceptable formal wear for Kian to match with his belongings, since he never learned the names and functions of each type of clothing he owned. Like many college students, this was the first time he had to dress for a formal event without his mother's eye ensuring he didn't make a fool of himself.

Once he felt properly dressed, he wrote out a goodbye to Estes, with an added thanks for the fashion tips.

"No need for goodbye," Estes replied, "I'll be around."

Kian rushed out the door and made it to the pre-determined restaurant, a sushi place just off campus. As he arrived, he saw Kiara approaching.

"Hey," she called out, her blue dress shining under a nearby streetlight. Her smile shone like a beacon, out-performing every light source in the vicinity, and her eyes bore deep into him as they stared with what could only be described as pure, unquestioned happiness.

He stammered out some formalities as they entered the restaurant and took their seats near the back. Instead of sitting on opposite sides of the table, the two sat on the L-shaped bench so they sat close to one another, as they did in the cafeteria so many times.

"I always like the back," Kiara explained, "since it lets me see everything that's going on. I hope you don't mind."

"No, I like it too," Kian said, trying to control his smile.

As they looked over the menu and made some small talk about their classes for the day, Kian noticed the pain in his arm return. He felt a sudden throb and winced.

"I'm okay," he explained to Kiara's concerned look. "Just jabbed myself with my pen. Well, it was my dad's, really. But I carry it around for good luck." He pulled the pen from his pocket, letting the glyphs sparkle in the dim lighting.

"That's so sweet! Will you be able to see him over the break?"

"Well..." he paused, deciding how to phrase his next words. "I haven't seen him for a long while. He was an artist, but I guess he got too caught up with his work. He left one night and never came back." He quickly resumed his smile. "It's okay though, I was only one year old when that happened, and my mom is very good to me."

"That's such a shame," Kiara said, with not pity but empathy, which warmed Kian's heart. "I guess that's where you get your artistic flair though, huh?"

"Yeah," Kian lied with a laugh.

Dinner resumed, with the two talking as they waited for the sushi they ordered. In the middle of Kian explaining an event from high school, Kiara jumped a little and blushed.

"Kian! That's a bit forward, don't you think?"

He didn't understand what she meant at all; how is a story about high school forward? He noticed her eyes staring down, and he followed her gaze to her lap, where he found his hand gripping the top of her thigh. He jolted his hand back, feeling a throb in his arm.

"Sorry! I didn't, I mean-"

"Let's take it slow, okay?" Kiara said, red but smiling.

"Of course," he stammered back. She started talking about something else, but he couldn't stop thinking about what just happened. He had absolutely no intention of grabbing her, he wasn't drunk, or high, or too tired... so how did he not notice himself doing that?

"So be honest with me," Kiara said with a flirtatious glance. "How long have you liked me for?"

Kian paused to think of how to answer this question. The right answer was since he stumbled onto her Facebook profile through the college freshman's Facebook page, and that he saw a lot of her posts since she left them public. He couldn't actually say that, though.

"Woah, really! Wow, you really are something, you know that?"

Kian came back out from his thoughts to find himself speaking without his awareness. "I know it's creepy, but I just couldn't help myself, and it was all public," his mouth said for him. He grabbed his water and drank it, forcing himself to stop talking. Was this what people meant by first date nerves?

After several more lines of conversation, Kian now controlling the words he said, the food arrived. The waiter placed the large sushi boat on the table in front of them, and they stared in awe at all the sushi options that the boat offered.

"Time to taste test," Kiara joked as she clicked her chopsticks together.

Kian opened his mouth to agree, but found it suddenly filled.

"Wow, too hungry for chopsticks, huh?"

It took Kian a moment to realize that his mouth was filled with one of the sushi pieces, grabbed and moved by his hand. He took his other hand and pushed it down, quickly chewing and swallowing the piece so he could speak. "I'm just nervous I guess," he lied. "I need to go to the bathroom though, I'll be right back."

Before she could reply, he rushed away from the table and into the back, which thankfully had single-stall bathrooms. The lights of the bathroom were much harsher and brighter than outside, momentarily blinding him. He shook his head, as if shaking the light away, and opened his eyes to look at his hand. His heart froze.

Extending out from the pen injury, hidden away by a single bandaid, his veins rose up to to the surface of his skin, appearing to be a dark reddish color, creating a network of black branches reaching down to his hand and up his arm. He looked around the rest of his body, raising his shirt and pant bottoms, and found other areas with slightly dark veins, not as affected as his arm but clearly different than they should be. He looked up and stared in the mirror to inspect his face. As his eyes scanned his cheeks and lips, he noticed movement in the corner of his vision. His eyes moved just in time to see his affected arm, with his hand holding the pen, jab it down into his chest.

He yelled out in pain and stumbled back, pen sticking out of his body. Blood poured out as the inch of pen stuck inside of his muscle moved around with his jolting, leaving an expanding red stain on his nice shirt. He tried to move his hand to grab the pen and pull it out, but his hand stopped right before it, and refused to move and further.

"Sorry about this," he heard a voice say.

"What?" he said out loud, looking around for a source of the voice.

"You said I could have a favor. It would have taken far too much time to explain. I'm sure you understand." Kian realized as the voice spoke that he didn't hear it from around him, but inside his head, as thoughts his mind was having but that couldn't be controlled.

"Estes?" he asked, barely above a whisper. "But... but I didn't bring you here..." He racked his brain, but was completely sure that the sketchbook remained on his desk, where he said goodbye just before the date.

"You did, though." Kian felt his eyes move down against his will to the pen sticking out from his chest, throbbing with pain. "And you said I could have a favor, right? I just want to experience a few things, things that only a body can get you. You don't mind, of course."

Kian tried to move his mouth to protest, but his lips wouldn't move. He decided to try thinking. "People will notice," he tried to threaten with his thoughts. "They'll know something's wrong with me."

"No, I don't think so," Estes replied as Kian's body pulled the pen from its flesh without a flinch and began cleaning itself up. "I know everything about you, after all. I have years of information all saved up. All of your personal thoughts, all laid out for me."

Years? But he only had the sketchbook for a few months! The only place he had his personal thoughts, other than his mind, was his daily journal, but how could-

"Besides, it's not like I'm taking hold forever," Estes said with exaggerated assurance. "Just until the fun is over. I haven't had a joy ride since... how old are you again? A year less than that, I didn't keep track."

A year less than his current age. Kian's heart sank as his body threw the bloody shirt in the toilet and bandaged itself. His thoughts wandered to his father, to his nightly journal, to the pen, to Kiara...

Kian's body, no, Estes' body, gave a swift turn and returned to the restaurant, telling an elaborate lie to Kiara about tripping and hurting himself while getting a bandage from the waiter. Kiara snuggled up close to him, pouring sympathy for his situation and offering to help him eat. He felt an arm reach around her and hold her close. He wanted to shout out, to tell her that he was trapped, but he no longer had control.

"Besides," Estes added in thought as Kian felt his body smile. "You'll be able to watch and feel it all, so it's not like you're missing out!"

[nochu-specs]

the schoolbook of love

my first namjoon writing ever. i’m not 100% happy with it, but i think it’s ok. i hope you all enjoy nevertheless. remember that feedback is very much appreciated! -sen

summary: you’re the new girl in school, and you’re teamed up with the smart guy in class. what could happen?

genres: fluff, angst??

word count: 9.3k

pairing: namjoon x reader

warnings!: -

Starting a new life is nowhere near as scary as leaving the old one behind. See, it's easy to start something new, but dropping something you've been used to for years, and trying to build a new life and ways to function is very hard. So, starting in a new school could be described as a very frustrating experience. All what you have known about social circles and so on, are not valid anymore. The people are new, the teachers are new, the classrooms are new, everything's new. Heck, even the schoolbooks are new. Some are lucky, and they can easily leave something meaningless behind. So for you, it felt like nothing to change schools. You didn't own any friends in your old school, and you had your doubts about finding friends in the new school either. You were there to study - and that what you were going to do. It was the first Monday in the new city. You had waken up early to get to a shower, wash up and make yourself even slightly better looking. Not that you were trying to impress anyone - you just wanted to feel better about your first day of school. Whether it was worked or not, that should be asked from the students, not you. You dressed up, ate a small breakfast, and then made your way to the new building where you educational would be held. The principal had given you a tour around the school last Friday, so basically you should be familiar with getting around the school. You were wrong. Terribly wrong. You had no idea where any type of an class was, and of course the map you'd been given had gone missing. What a way to start your school life in the new school - lost and late. "Hey, excuse me? Are you lost?" You heard a quiet voice of a girl behind you. You turned around, and a rather short girl, with a pretty smile was standing in front of you. You smiled back - no need to be rude. "Yeah. It's my first day. Do you know where's the history class?" You asked and the girl smiled widely. She nodded. "Yes! I'm going there too. Mind walking with me? I'm Eunha, by the way", she said and grinned. "I'm Y/N. Let's go", you said. Eunha just nodded, and lead the way. Eunha seemed like a good person - she wasn't jumping on you asking everything about your life or if you and her could be friends forever until the world collides. She made you feel comfortable in the strange environment. Maybe the school wouldn't be so bad. Eunha could be someone you could spend time with in school, maybe even outside. It would all depend on her behaviour for the next few hours. "Why did you move?" Eunha broke the silence between you two. People were still crowding the hallways, chatting filling every silence that could happen. You shrugged your shoulders. "My parents needed to move. I didn't mind, I don't own many friends. They chose a good school - this one - so I just came", you explained. Eunha just nodded, and you smiled. She wasn't going to ask you every single little detail about your life before, and you appreciated that. Openness wasn't your forte, and Eunha didn't want you to make it one.

Eunha and you arrived in the class. The teacher was overly excited about getting you into her class. Not that you cared - to you it was only a new class with a new teacher and new students. No one wants to come off as rude though, so you smiled at her. All was well - nothing had happened yet. "Miss Y/L/N, you can sit next to Mister Kim Namjoon right there", the professor said and you nodded. Eunha tried to pull your hand to say something, but you weren't there to disobey a teacher. You got seated next to the guy. You had to admit - he was good looking, but you weren't there to drool over boys, or girls for that case. That just wasn't you. He answered you with a polite smile and then turned to look at the board where the teacher was doodling something about the first world war. Strange - but it might just work. The lesson started properly and while the professor kept going on and on about the gases they used during the war time. You stole a look at the boy sitting next to you. He had an interested look on his face, and he kept scribbling something to his notebook - probably just notes from the class. At least he takes his studying seriously, and doesn't mess around in school. "Listen up, class! You know I mentioned the project for this course? We're starting it today. I'll be announcing the groups and subjects you'll be working on. You have ten days to finish it - please make sure you do!" The proffesor announced five minutes before the bells would ring. The whole class groaned in annoyance, expect you and Namjoon. This was just another project - school is school and in school you must do assignments that the teachers give you. At least you thought that way, others didn't seem to. "Group number one is Miss Y/N Y/L/N, Mr. Kim Namjoon, Jung Eunha, Jeon Somin, Kim Seokjin and Park Jimin. Your subject is the Western front in the First World War", the professor called out, and you heard Eunha's litle voice whisper something to the girl sitting next to her, you figured out it would be Somin. You turned around to face Namjoon, who gave you a smile. Eunha, Somin, and the two guys sitting in front of you turned to yours and Namjoon's direction. "What even happened in the first world war? I mean, I've heard of Mussolini and all", one of the boys said and you furrowed your eyebrows. Was he serious? "That was the second world war, Seokjin-hyung", Namjoon said next to you. He didn't seem too shocked by his friend being very uneducated. Strange. You hummed in agreement, and looked at the people next to you. There was no hope, it was time to take matters into your own hands. You opened your little notebook and started scribbling your plans. "I figured two of you could do as in why the war started in the western front, like what were the problems and issues behind the war. Two could write about how the war was stuck in the western front. Reasons, and why it continued that way. The remaining two could write about how and why did the war end, and how did affect all the other countries, and especially Germany. Does this sound like a plan?" You said, and when the last word was written, you lifted your gaze from the paper only to be met with 4 confused, impressed faces, and one smiling face. Namjoon nodded at your idea, smiling widely. "Sounds great. Me and Y/N can do the first one. Choose your partners, go", Namjoon said with his deep voice while showing off his dimpled smile. You smiled back, while the other groaned and choose their seated partners. "Namjoon, it's not fair! Clearly Y/N is smarter than all of us, probably even smarter than you, how could you just steal her?" Eunha asked and you looked at her, answering her with a smile. "Well Eunha, it's about time you'll all learn a bit about history. Holocaust, in the first world war, seriously?" Namjoon laughed and Seokjin groaned. "Say it one time while being sleep-deprived and they never let it go", Seokjin groaned and the guy - you guessed it would be Jimin - laughed a little. "Okay. Class dismissed. Please work on your projects!" the professor yelled over all the loud chatting. Namjoon got up from his seat. "Library, tomorrow at 6 in the evening, is everyone alright with that? Yes? Good", he said, without letting anyone answer his question. With that, he was off. A strange, but smart guy. Interesting. "Y/N! We have lunch, wanna come with me?" Eunha asked you and you nodded, smiling. Maybe the school would be alright, after all.

Eunha was a nice girl to you. She asked just the right questions, and told you just enough about the school so that you wouldn't accidentally embarrass yourself or anything. She told you more about Namjoon, the surprisingly smart guy next to you. She told you that his grades were super high, highest in the school and that he had his friends. Eunha mentioned that he was single in a rather suggestive way, but you didn't consider it that important. A guy is a guy, a girl is a girl. How could you have a boyfriend if you didn't even have proper friends yet? The school day ended sooner than you would've guessed. At least that's what it felt like. Eunha asked you to hang out with her, and for a change, you agreed to come with her. She took you to her house and spilled all the dirty secrets of the school. You asked a few questions about the mysterious Namjoon guy. Turned out, he was one of the smartest guys in the whole school. Liked, and well-mannered. Seemed like a good guy. After hours and hours of talking with Eunha, you went home, and your mind was consumed by Namjoon. Who was he? Could you get to know him? What if he was the total opposite of what you thought? The following school day was also short. Namjoon had psychology class with you, and he actually had a conversation with you, before the teacher came into class. "Oh, hi. Y/N, wasn't it?" Was the first thing he asked. You nodded and seated yourself next to him - all the other seats were taken by other people. "How was the first day of school?" He asked. Polite, you thought. Not even Eunha had asked you that. "It was alright. A school is a school. This just seems better than my old one", you smiled and he nodded. His dimples showed whenever he flashed that pretty smile of his. What a charming point. "Well, then", he said when he heard steps from high heels coming from outside. I hope you enjoy this school. It's a bit strange, but not bad at all", he laughed and you answered with a smile. When the teacher stepped in, he went silent and focused everything on his work. No one could distract him from getting all his class assignments ready. After the teacher dismissed the class, he stood up. "See you at six, aight?" He said, waited for your response - a plain nod - and then ran off to another class. What a strange guy. The clock striked four, and all your classes for the day were completed, you jumped on the bus home to make yourself ready for tonight's study session. The clock striked 5:45pm after what felt like an eternity and it could've not been any sooner. You walked downstairs, put your shoes on and got out of the house. If you and Namjoon could work on the project in peace, the fact that his friends didn't know much about basic history wouldn't be so bad at all. You arrived two minutes early at the library, where Namjoon, Seokjin and Somin where already seated. You smiled and made your way to them, sitting next to Namjoon. They both smiled and greeted you. They both already had opened their books, and it seemed as if Somin was trying to learn something. That's only good, right? Somin must know something before making a project. It didn't take long for Jimin and Eunha to arrive to the library either. They laughed with each other rather loudly, but it was soon stopped by Somin shushing them. Eunha rolled her eyes, still sitting next to her friend. Jimin went to next to Seokjin, saying to hello to you in the process. You answered with a smile. Namjoon looked at everyone and then smiled. "Okay", he whispered and everyone turned to look at him for instructions. "So. Somin and Eunha, you can do the as in why the war was stuck, and Seokjin-hyung and Jimin will do the aftermath of the war. Does everyone have a laptop?" He asked with a quiet voice and everyone nodded. "Great. I think we should all spread out a little - considering how loud Jimin and Eunha are", Namjoon whispered and received a kick under the table from either Jimin or Eunha, you weren't entirely sure. You were sure it hurt though, judging from the groan that slipped from his lips. "Respect your elders, Eunha. Now, off you go. Y/N and I will stay here", Namjoon said, keeping his gaze in Jimin. The younger and shorter one rolled his eyes and got up. Seokjin whined something about how the other chairs were uncomfortable, but they did leave. Eunha patted you on your shoulders and gave you a smile, before running away with Somin. You turned to smile at Namjoon, who was already surprisingly staring at you. He blushed and turned to pull out his laptop. "So, I think we should do it as... Uh... Like... A power point? I guess. Whatever's fine with you, I'll be fine with it, honestly", Namjoon mumbled, sounding a bit flustered. Was it because you were alone with him? Can't be, he probably has girls drooling all over him all the time. "We made power points in my last school all the time, so using one is easy for me. Let's do that one?" You whispered as an answer and Namjoon just nodded, opening his laptop. If he was going to be as shy as that, this will be a long evening.

Namjoon is a hard-working person, who doesn't give up on the things he starts on. Once he starts working on something, he needs to get it finished, that's just his nature. This project was different, however. He wanted to procastinate the work, just so that he could spend more time with you. You were extremely intelligent, he noticed it the first time you opened your mouth in that previous history class. You were also a hard-working person, not to mention that you were attracting to him. He usually didn't react around girls, but you were different. He didn't even know you properly, but he felt all blushy and giddy when just sitting next to you. It's dangerous, feeling something for someone even after such a short time. It just means that the person causing your heart trouble - it always means that. "Y/N?" He broke the silence with a quiet whisper. You lifted your gaze from your own laptop. You two had actually gotten a lot more done than what the other people in your group had, but it still felt like so little. "Yeah?" "Why did you move here?" Namjoon asked, his voice shaking a little. He was stupidly nervous, you were just a girl? Why was it any different that it was with with Somin or Eunha? "My father found a new job here. And I didn't really mind moving here. I don't really have any friends, so no one would be missing me if I moved away", you said, as if the last part of your sentence was the most simple thing. Namjoon felt his heart receive a little stab. How could someone like you not have any friends? He still understood, that it was none of his business, so he didn't ask any further. "How long have you lived here, then?" you asked him, in return and he felt his cheeks blush again. He collected himself, not showing you how nervous just a little question from you made him. "All my life, if I'm correct", Namjoon and laughed silently. You joined his laughter and he felt his smile widen. You thought it was funny? "That's cool. This city seems really interesting. What places do you reccomend to see? Or to eat, I could use some food after this", you said and Namjoon smiled widely. He knew his chance was now or never. He coughed a little, and nodded. "Y-yeah, I know a few places", Namjoon said and felt another wave of coughs flushing over him. God damn it, why now? It felt like forever until he no longer needed to cough, but you just smiled at him with an understanding look on your face. "Gesundheit", you said and smiled a little. Namjoon furrowed his brows slightly, clearly confused over the meaning of the new mystical word. "Means bless you in German. The literal translation is health, and I know you're supposed to say after someone sneezes, but I figured you could use some health, if you cough that much. Are you really okay? Because we can go home if you're not healthy", you said and Namjoon felt his heart flutter inside his chest. You cared about him and his health! What an angel. He shook his head. "I'm fine, thank you. But I do know a few places where we could grab food, if you just want to? We've probably done more than the others combined, and if you're hungry, we can eat. It's fine if you don't want to, but there's this great chicken pla-" Namjoon's words were interrupted by your quiet giggles. "Chicken sounds great. Let's go."

It all felt like a dream. You, and the smart guy that you were working with were getting food, and he didn't seem bothered by you spending time with him. You were all smiles, and so was he. When you finally did arrive at the chicken place and got your food, the gates to heaven were opened for you. You both started eating and chatting about everything that's been going on in the world and in your lives. "Namjoon? Are Jimin and Eunha dating?" you asked him. You didn't really care, but you wanted to ask him about your possible new future friends. He just nodded. "Yes, for six months now. They seem really happy together, don't they?" Namjoon said and smiled again, his deep dimples showing. You answered his smile again and nodded. "Yeah, I guess. Do you have a girlfriend? Or a boyfriend. Or a special someone? You know what I mean", you asked, your curiosity genuine. If he was taken, then that would be your sign to not develop anything too deep. You would never come between someone else's relationship - if they're taken, they're taken and that's just basic rules of life. Namjoon shook his head this time. "No, I don't. I guess the people in our school aren't so special to me? Like don't get me wrong, they're pretty and nice and all, but not that way", he answered, his voice deep and calming. You nodded, smiling. Only better. "Do you then have anyone special in your heart?" He asked you, his voice a little breathy again. You smiled and shook your head. "No. I don't have many friends, so having a boyfriend or a girlfriend when not having any platonic love seems like a surreal idea to me. I think platonic love is equally important as romantic love. See, forgetting platonic love while being blinded by romantic love is a toxic formula", you said, while taking another piece of chicken inside your mouth. Namjoon chuckled. "Why the chuckle?" you asked and he just smiled. "Nothing. It's just that I agree, and I don't think I've ever met someone who thinks this way, or at least dares to admit it outloud. Not that it's strange or weird to think this way, people just don't often pour their thoughts out the way they should", Namjoon said and smiled. You smiled back, and it felt natural so sit in front of him and smile with him. The evening went forward, you continued chatting and it was the most you had laughed in a while. Soon, you noticed the clock was already almost ten. Your parents knew you could protect yourself, but you did feel your eyelids refusing to stay open. Namjoon had noticed that too, and he got up from the table to pay. You wanted to tell him not to, but the words wouldn't come out. He soon payed and returned back to you. In a blur, he took your arms in his and started dragging you out of the restaurant. You didn't mind - you wanted to get home and sleep like there was no tomorrow. Namjoon walked you home, trying to keep you concious. He kind of succeeded, because you did realise when you arrived at your house. How he knew your address - you didn't know, but didn't care. You were home finally. "Y/N? We're here. I put mine and Eunha's phone number to your notebook, let us know when we can work on our project, alright?" Namjoon asked in a sweet tone and you nodded sleepily. "Yeah, I will. Thank you", you said, smiling to him. Namjoon smiled widely and caressed your cheek. "Good night, Y/N", he said as you walked to your house, keys in hand. You just smiled back, feeling all giddy. "Good night, Namjoon."

The following morning was filled with the feeling of embarrasament and guilt. How could you let yourself get so sleepy like that? It wasn't you at all. And you made Namjoon walk through the whole city and pay for your food? You've really topped yourself this time. You pulled out your phone while sitting on the bus on your way to school, and texted Eunha with the number Namjoon had given to you. You told her who you were and then told the story about last night. She answered with a bunch of laughing emojies. She might've found it amusing, but you sure didn't. Your misfortunate for the day was only at its prime, because the minute you stepped out of the bus, you bumped into Namjoon, almost tripping the both of you over. He laughed with his deep tone and looked at you. You felt your body freeze, breathing hitch in your throat and your cheeks blush. What if he was mad over the fact that you made him pay for the food and that you embarrased yourself in front of him? "Well good morning to you too, Y/N. Slept well?" He asked. You recognised a teasing tone in his voice and your insides let out a exhale of relief. He wasn't angry with you, that was a good sign. It didn't take away the embarrasement, though. "Yeah, thank you. Listen... I'm sorry for last night. I know I should've stayed awake better. I'm sorry I made you pay, I can pay you back right now, if it's okay?" You said, words blurting out of your mouth really fast and almost not understandable. Namjoon laughed at your silliness and shook his head in disagreement. "Don't mention it, it's fine. I understand that you were tired, and I didn't mind. Don't pay me back, I would've payed for the meal in any case. And although I believe you'd be perfectly fine with walking by yourself in the city, I doubt a sleepy Y/N would be good at defending herself. Correct me if I'm wrong", Namjoon said and ruffled his hair. You felt little giggles escape your lips and bit your lower lip. So Namjoon wasn't mad, and he wouldn't his you with snarky remarks too much for almost falling asleep on him. Things could be worse. "Okay, alright. I'm still sorry though", you answered back and he waved his hands as if he was trying to woosh away the silly comments about it. A cloud silence was flewn over the two of you, and after a few seconds is started to get awkward. He was the first one to break the silence. "Can we possibly do another study session, tonight? Unless you have hobbies or something, then we can do it tomorrow?" Namjoon asked, and you couldn't help but smile at his nervous voice. He was so polite to you, and asking for something as simple as a study session made him nervous? Hell, even looking at him after last night made you nervous. "Yeah. My place or your place? I doubt that the others want to come. I don't know them that well yet, but they'll probably just whine, or something", you said and you both erupted in quiet laughter. Namjoon shrugged his shoulders. "My place? My parents and little sister are gone for tonight, so the house would be empty. I mean, they wouldn't boher us, but I figured the living room would be a nicer place to study than my room", Namjoon said, his voice still shaking. You giggled and nodded. "Text me a time, when you're ready and I'll make sure to send you the address, alright?" He asked and you nodded, feeling your smile widen and widen every second while being closer to him. Funny how he could make the butterflies fly rapidly in your stomach, even if you had only known him for a little while. He could make the sun glow a little brighter everytime his dimples showed. "Yeah. Do we have any classes today together?" You asked with a curious voice. Maybe you could spend more time with him? "I have literature, math, chemistry, and P.E. My day's kind of short today. What about you?" He asked, and you already knew your answers would be disappointing. "English, social studies, physics, French and literature. Guess we'll just see each other tonight?" You smiled with an apologizing look smothered all across your face. Namjoon answered you with a goofy smile back. "Yeah. Looking forward to it", he said. It felt like you both had something to say to each other, but he got called by one of his friends, so he excused himself and you were left with trying to find Eunha and go through everything that had just happened and what will happen tonight. 

When you're really anticipating something, time seems to be stuck and the clock doesn't want to move. The same thing happened with today, and Eunha sitting next to you, blabbering on and on about how it's gonna be so amazing didn't slow down the speedy flight of the butterflies in your stomach. "Do you like him? Namjoon, I mean", Eunha asked with a quiet voice in physics class. There were still almost two and half hours until school would end. And then you had another one and a half hours until you could leave for Namjoon's house. He had already texted his address, and you had it memorized. You looked at Eunha and bit your lower lip. "I haven't really felt romantic feelings before, so I don't know. He's nice and I want to do our project", you whispered back and she scoffed. "Romantic feelings my butt. You clearly like him. But that's totally understandable. If I weren't together with Jimin, I'd like Namjoon as well. He'll be nice to you, even if he's a little inexperienced. But if you've never felt romantic feelings, or if that's what you're calling them, you'll fit perfectly. You'll be so cute!" She smiled and you smiled back. You nodded at his answer and smiled back. Eunha wasn't the perfect friend after all, the squealing little girl was inside her, after all. But that's fine, not everyone can be perfect. You had your flaws, not allowing Eunha have hers would be unfair. Besides, she was still excited over you getting to spend time with Namjoon, and that meant more to you than her being annoying. It meant that even if you had known her for a short while, she was still happy for you for small things. And that was worth more than a hundred friends who don't really care.

Somehow the time slowly was enough for you to leave. Eunha wanted to come with you to your house and make you prettier, but you refused. This was only supposed to be a study session, not a date. Besides, Namjoon seemed like the type of guy that wouldn't be too worried if a girl showed up at his house with baggy clothes and a bare face. He wouldn't probably even care. But the tiny, shallow bit of you wanted to make yourself more attractive, even if it was for just a little bit. The clock finally striked 5:29 and you knew you should get going if you wanted to be in time. You still weren't entirely sure where his home was located, and you wanted to get enough spare time for getting lost. And besides, Namjoon's house be very far away, and you weren't very fond on running around. Shoes on, bag on your shoulder and off we go. To your surprise, the half an hour was just enough time to arrive at his house. You were three minutes early. Or should you be? You could wait three minutes outside until it would be exactly six o'clock, or just walk on in three minutes early. After pondering on it, you chose the latter, walked over to the door and knocked. You heard your heart beat hard and loud in your ears and tried to collect your breathing. He would come in through the door any second now, you would soon be inside and he would do the project with you and you could talk with each other and it would be so strange and the door opened. "Oh, hi. Come on in", Namjoon's deep voice ended the silence and you felt your mind feel relief. You smiled, nodded and stepped inside. Here we go. "Do you want something to drink? Or to eat? I have some ramen in the closets, but I guess that's too plain..." Namjoon said but you giggled when you kicked your shoes off your feet. "Ramen sounds amazing right now, to be honest", you answered and Namjoon smiled widely, nodding. "Alright, ramen it is", Namjoon laughed. He showed you the way to the living room with his hands, telling you that all is set up and if you wanted you could start working on the project. You seated yourself in the sofa, throwing one leg over the other. You could hear Namjoon working in the kitchen, the water starting to boil slowly but steady. Your laptop was placed on the wooden surface of the table. The water was boiling even louder, and you heard Namjoon whistle a quiet melody. Where from, you didn't know. You were startled by the water boiler making contact with the kitchen floor. "Fuck!" Namjoon yelled and it was your sign to get up from the sofa and check the situation in the other room. You rushed your steps to the kitchen, only to see Namjoon sitting on the floor and the water boiler pouring the liquid out on the floor, some on Namjoon's hand. You squated next to him and moved the hot object away from him. "Oh my god, are you okay? Those could give you really bad burns", you said and took his hand into yours. You examined the hand and sighed. "I'm sorry, I'm a bit clumsy", Namjoon said, shame flushing over him. You shook your head and smiled. Silly boy. "It's not your fault, it was an accident. Those happen. I just want to make sure that you're not hurt. Does your hand hurt?" you asked and he just shook his head, a goofy smile on his face. You smiled back and took a piece of clothing used for drying from the cooking surface. You wiped it across the floor, but Namjoon took a hold of your hand. "I am not letting you clean my mistakes", Namjoon said, but his words were not heard. Only thing you cared about was his hand on your hand, holding it in place. He seemed to realize what he did, but didn't let go. You both looked into each others eyes and smiled. Neither of you moved forward or backward, and there was a familiarity to it. Namjoon let go of your hand and shook his head. You pulled out your hand to yourself and got up from the floor, him following your actions after starting to wipe the floor. You picked the water boiler from the floor and investigated its condition. "Strange. It didn't break. I'll make the ramen for us now, alright? You go work on the project", you said and looked at Namjoon's defeated face. He didn't have a choice, so he chose just to go and sit on the sofa. Cup ramen is easy to make, and it doesn't take too long. That's the charm of it, it's easy and fast, and it tastes good. A gift sent from up above. You carried the ready portions with chopsticks inside your long sleeved shirt. You placed the cups on the cold surface of the table, careful to not spill anything on Namjoon's computer, where he was already working. You weren't poor, but you sure as hell would not be able to afford paying for it either. He thanked you and you seated yourself next to him, smiling. You heard him slurp his food, and you decided to do the same - hunger was already clawing at your stomach hard. You still kept your eyes on Namjoon and his laptop. He looked so focused and... Manly? No, this can't be. You shook your head and turned your eyes away from him. You were here to work, not to mess around. "So, Y/N, I was thinking that you could speak the parts you've written yourself and I could speak the part I've written?" You heard Namjoon break the silence set above you. You nodded at him and flashed him a smile. You both turned back to your laptops, silence being louder than ever. "I think were pretty far with this project, so we can take a break", Namjoon said after what felt like a million years. The break was much needed, your back was aching and you desperately needed water after the salty portion of ramen. He was a step ahead, however and already had a water bottle ready for you. He told you to drink up, and so you did. It tasted sweet. "Penny for your thoughts?" Namjoon said and when you turned to face him, he was smirking. You grinned back. "Ain't nothing there, sorry", you giggled and he hummed back. "Can you ask you something?" Namjoon asked and bit his lower lip. You nodded, knowing you couldn't say no to that face. "Why did you talk about not having friends? You're a nice girl, I don't understand as in to why you wouldn't have friends", Namjoon asked and you felt your mind go blank. Maybe your face did too, since Namjoon was quick to correct himself. "I'm sorry. It's fine if you don't want to answer, I know I crossed a line there. You know what, nevermind", Namjoon mumbled quickly, and the blush on his face was obvious. You coughed and shook your head. "It's fine. I can tell you", you answered and collected your thoughts. How to explain it? What if he would think that you're weird for thinking this way? Or think you're emotionally uncapable of living like everyone else? "So... I don't know. I've always appreciated people behaving modest and listening to what other people think and how they think. But not so many people are that way. When I started high school, none of the people there seemed like they could be a friend. Everyone had some sort of an impatience to them. Not that I was perfect, I didn't listen to their thoughts that well either. The people at my school were all pretty much stuck up, and they didn't want to listen to my thoughts, I guess? And I just didn't want to bother. I think a lot, and if someone doesn't want to listen to me at times, then I don't want to bother. I know you'll think of Eunha and ask me why am I friends with her. I guess she just didn't jump on me the second we met, telling her thoughts immediately. She understood that I wasn't very experienced in stuff like this, and she's nice", you said, the vomit of words just coming out. Namjoon listened, humming inbetween sentences to tell you he was listening. It felt good to tell your thoughts to someone else than yourself, for a change. "It's kinda hard to explain, I guess? But yeah. When you've spent enough time in school without friends, it's hard to make them your new ones. But I didn't really mind it. Eunha, you and the others, you all are nice to me, and you listen to my thoughts. It's better here, I guess, even if my number one priority is still studying", you sighed and Namjoon smiled, as if he understood. "We like you. You're kind, nice and smart. I think Eunha and I, even Somin, Jimin and Seokjin would be fine with listening to your thoughts. I hope you can settle with us and your thoughts about us", Namjoon sighed and you smiled at him widely. It was hard to put into words what you thought, but Namjoon understood anyway. And that meant a lot. "Sorry, my thoughts are confusing", you said quietly, Namjoon just shook his head and pushed a little bit of hair out of your face. You lifted your gaze to him, only to see him smiling at you already. "Don't worry. I understood, what you wanted to say perfectly well", Namjoon said while he looked deep into your eyes. The ticking of the clock seemed to disappear as you both just looked into each others eyes. Something changed inside you, a boost of confidence was loaded and before you knew it, your lips were crashed on his. They felt soft, a bit chapped. You had never kissed anyone like that, or well. You haven't kissed anyone, ever. To your surprise, Namjoon kissed you back, softly. He moved his hand to the back of your neck, gently caressing your hair while moving his lips in a steady movement. You scooted closer to him, and he pulled you into his lap. The kiss was sweet and gentle. Just the two of you, sitting while the world stopped spinning. All good things must come to an end, the kissing included. You were the first one to pull out. Your lips were all swollen and so were his. He smiled and gived you a small peck on your lips. "Was that your first time?" He asked and you nodded. He smiled at your shyness. "Well then. It was an honour to be your first", Namjoon smirked and you felt rosy blush spread all across your cheeks. They were just words, how could they make you feel all these emotions? "You know, there's this party on Friday? We could go there, if you want to. You probably haven't been to a party either? Not that it's a bad thing. But if you want to", Namjoon blabbered and you laughed quietly. You placed your index finger on his lips. "Shush. I'll come", you said and you swore you saw Namjoon's eyes sparkle. Your eyes were sparkling too, and all of the things that had happened over the last two hours were like a dream come true. A dream which you've never dared to dream before.

The next few days seemed to pass in a blur. After a few more kisses, you had left Namjoon's house, and the only person that came into your mind was Eunha, so you called her. She seemed more excited about Namjoon kissing you than you yourself. But Eunha's excitement only made you happier about what he did. You didn't get to see Namjoon is school much, or at least talk to him. He always smiled at you when he saw you, but never had time to talk to you. It's not like you had either, though. The new school asked for a lot, and although you were a hardworking person, it was a lot of stuff to do. Friday night came around faster than you would've thought. Eunha came with you, she was all about getting to impress Namjoon with how much prettier Eunha would make you. You didn't mind, going to a party was new and strange to you. Eunha sat you down on your bed and you just let her do her wonders with you. The result wasn't bat at all - it was natural enough, but not too plain. Just what you liked. Eunha threw a skirt, fishnet thighs and a white shirt at you, telling you to get dressed. It wasn't your usual style, but why not? Eunha said it would be better to walk, so after you both had gotten yourself ready, she opened the door for you and you started walking towards the house where the party would be held. "Y/N? Have you ever drank alcohol?" Eunha asked suddenly. You were startled by her question. You shook your head. Why would you drink alcohol, it's basically just poison, and it makes you do silly things. Not your thing. "Oh... Well, remember that when we go to this party, that there will be people drinking. A lot. It's held by Jung Hoseok,  and he tends to get wild at times. His parties do the same", Eunha explained. You nodded. It wouldn't be that wild, right? 

You were wrong. Terribly wrong. The minute you heard the bass you knew that it was going to be as wild as Eunha said, or even wilder. You thought about running away, but Eunha grabbed onto your arm and dragged you towards the house. The bass was really loud on the front yard, and when you stepped inside, it was even louder. How was that even possible? The house smelled like alcohol and sweat, and people were dancing everywhere - whether they did it well or not, that was up to the viewer. "Listen, go look for Namjoon somewhere. I'm getting myself drinks, and Jimin's waiting for me in the kitchen", Eunha said and tapped you on the shoulder, as if to give you encouragement to walk through the party. "You can't do that! Eunha, I'm serious, you can't just leave me here!" You tried to protest but your words were left to deaf ears. Eunha winked, turned around and went off to find her boyfriend. You were left with no other choce but to find your way to Namjoon in the maze or intoxicated and messy people. Fortunately, Namjoon wasn't far away. He was sitting on a sofa, surrounded by some guys - the only one you could recognise was Seokjin - and a few girls. One was Somin, who was laughing with one guy. The guy noticed you and tapped Namjoon's shoulder. Namjoon lifted his gaze and smiled, waving his hands, opting you to sit next to him. You felt your smile widen, and made your way to be seated next to him. "Hi, Y/N! Everyone, here's Y/N", Namjoon introduced and smiled. His arms were covered in a long-sleeved white shirt, which made his muscles stand out. You didn't drool over anyone, but you did recognise beauty. You nodded and looked at everyone. They all smiled back saying their name. This one guy smiled at you for a remarkably long time. It felt strange. "My name's Sunyoul, nice to meet you", the guy said and you just nodded, smiling. Namjoon looked at his direction, but you knew that you were just here for Namjoon anyway. Sunyoul could be nice and all, but Namjoon was your real company for tonight. The night started off good. Everyone was chatting, the atmosphere was cheerful and Namjoon seemed to be happy sitting next to you, just like you. Everything was well, until the boy who had introduced himself as Hoseok decided to bring the drinks in. You knew that a bunch of teenagers in a crowded party with alcohol wasn't a good idea, but Somin pushed a glass into yours and you were left with no choice but to swallow it up. It tasted terrible, but the more and more you drank, the less it tasted like anything. Namjoon was drinking next to you as well, so you felt secure sitting next to him and letting the toxic liquid fill your insides. Drinking lots and lots of something will result in the desperate need to go to the bathroom - that's just laws of nature. After another shot of alcohol, you chose to stand up from your seat and excuse yourself. From the boost of confidence the alcohol had given you, you brushed your finger gently against Namjoon's cheek before you disappeared to the crowd of the people. You hoped it would have the reaction you wished for. Finding the bathroom was a harder task. You tried to ask people for directions, but either they didn't hear you, they didn't care of they were too drunk to comprehend what you were asking for. After wandering around in the house, you found the ladies' room. To your surprise, it wasn't occupied. After doing what was necessary, you stepped out, and bumped into someone tall and muscular. Your balance was lost, but he grabbed your arm to stop you from falling. His touch was just a little bit too hard and uncomfortable. Not to the point where it would feel painful, but it sure as hell was not nice either. "Careful there, beautiful", a familiar voice said. You looked up, and Sunyoul was standing there. You showed a shy, awkward smile. You tried to pull your hand away from his touch, but he was clinging onto it. "You know, you could spend the rest of the night with me. You know how Namjoon is, he doesn't posess the same amount of experience as I do", Sunyoul whispered to your ear and smirked in the process. You shook your head, disagreeing with him. Namjoon was so nice to you, what was Sunyoul saying? "What is it? Cat's got your tongue?" Sunyoul asked again and let his hands slide way too low for you liking in the backside of your body. He had you held tight in his touch. The man looked around him nervously, and way too soon, he was pressing his lips on yours. He wasn't what you wanted - the touch of his lips was too hard and possessive. You tried to push him away from you in terror, but he just took your hands in his and squeezed them. "Y/N?" You heard a much missed voice behind you. Sunyoul removed his lips from you and looked at the guy behind you. He smirked and let go of you. You turned around, only to be faced with Namjoon's confused and most of all, hurt expression. No, no, no. This wasn't happening, not this way. "Oh shit dude. I'm so sorry, she just jumped on me. God", Sunyoul said with a fake worry in his voice. No! He can't say lies like that after doing something as terrible as he did! "Namjoon, no, that's not true. Please, I would never!" You said and tried to take a step closer to him. He moved away and shook his head. "No. I get it. It's fine, really. Let it go", Namjoon said and his voice had never brought as much sorrow as it did now. He turned around and walked down the stairs. You shot one last angry look at Sunyoul, who kept smirking. Your steps made their way after Namjoon, and you caught him in the front yard. How was he already outside? "Namjoon, listen to me, would you? Sunyoul kissed me. I would never do that to you, especially since we're not a thing yet. Namjoon! I'm begging, listen to me now", You yelled after him, running to him. You placed your hand on his shoulder. He pushed it away. Why didn't he want your touch anymore? He couldn't believe Sunyoul right? He turned his face to you fast, breathing in deep to control his voice volume. "No. I don't want to listen. I saw what was up. You two kissed, and that's fine. If you don't like me that way, it's alright. I understand. But the shittiest move you can do, is to make me believe that you actually could like me, and then go mess with other guys. Minutes after you flirt with me! God, Y/N. You're truly one of a kind", Namjoon yelled back at you. The minute the words left his mouth, you felt crystal tears form inside your eyes. No, this can't be happening. You liked Namjoon, you wouldn't kiss another guy. "And you're right. We're not a thing. So it's whatever. Go screw whoever you want", Namjoon said, his voice breaking inbetween his sentences. He turned away, walked away and no matter how loud you tried to yell after him, he didn't turn and come back. After everything that had happened, your knees couldn't take your weight anymore and you collapsed on the ground, your tears rolling down from your cheeks, making little stains on your skirt. Your heart felt like it was being cribbled into a million pieces and no one would be there to glue them back together.

Eunha was the first one to find you outside and she was the one to take care of you. She took you to her house with a taxi, letting you pour your heart out to her. She listened patiently and never once stopped you when you told her everything about the night. She held you, dried your tears and when the story was finished, she let you sleep in her bed. When the morning came, she told you everything she thought about the situation. Sunyoul was a dick, according to her. She also told you that Namjoon was just a little sensitive and that it would be fine. You knew better though. Namjoon was hurt deeply, and you knew it was your own fault. There was no way he would come back or at least discuss things with you. And the worst thing was that you truly weren't even official. Your feelings had developed too quickly and it ended up ruining everything. It was Saturday morning, a few hours after you had woken up, when you decided that you would go back home. Eunha gave you some of her clothes to borrow, so that the walk of shame in the painful hangover wouldn't be so obvious. You knew you couldn't go home - your parents were too smart to figure out what happened at the party in the alcohol section. The only place what you could think of was the library. It would be quiet there - you could make a better view out of your thoughts. Maybe you could even find a solution for what would you do with the project. You had found yourself a big pile of books you could kill time with. If no one bothers you, time passes quickly when you lose yourself in the world of books. It's like you dive into a new fantasy, a new universum where everything is built differently and has their own story. And right now, you needed a little alternative universe to yourself as well. So, you curled yourself into a little ball and took one of the books to your hands, switching through the pages as the story went forward. But even if you tried to focus your mind on the story, it felt like he kept popping out to every male character, reminding you of his words last night and everything you had made him feel. The guilt was worse than the actual heartbreak. It felt like hours when someone finally interrupted you. A small cough woke you up from your little daydream in the other place somewhere in the world or out of it. The interrupter was someone you were not expecting. "Namjoon?" You whispered, and he hummed. You looked at him with furrowed brows - why was he here and what did he want? Not that you minded, if only you would get to talk to him. "Quite a lot of books you got there", was all he said. What was he on about? You answered with a silent nod, keeping your eyes on him and his expression. What was he here for? Was there something he still wanted to say? Maybe it was about the project? "Listen... Can we go outside for a moment? I got a few things to say, and whispering doesn't do good to your vocal chords", Namjoon said with a very quiet voice. You closed your book with a loud thump and stood on your feet. He followed, and got outside to the sunshine faster than what you did. Namjoon was already leaning against an oak when you reached him. He had his arms crossed, and his gaze tightly in you. You stood in front of him, keeping your eyes down from him. It hurt too much to look him in the eyes. "So, what did you wanna talk about?" You blurted out, after a while of neither saying a word. The silence of him was too much to bear - you just wanted to know what he had in mind. "Yeah. I, uh... I'm sorry. I'm really sorry about last night", Namjoon said and you heard him exhale deeply. It was like he was still collecting his thoughts and trying to think of the right order of words to say the right things. You looked up to face his dark eyes. "I'm sorry too. Listen, I know I was a bitch, I should've not let him even hold me. But I swear", you moved your hand on the place where your heart approximately was, "that I did not kiss him. I would never do that to you", you continued, never breaking the eye contact. You wanted, no, needed him to know what really happened. "Because I'm not that type of girl. I liked you and some Sunyoul or whatever his name was could ne-" your words were cut off by a nicer pair of lips than what the one last night was. His arms made their way to your back by your sides, gently touching your hair as well. Namjoon held you, imprisoning you in his embrace, and not one cell inside you wanted to leave. You kissed him back and this time you knew it wasn't a practice round. He was passionate, he was kissing you harder than what he had done before. You really wanted to keep kissing him, under the maple tree. Namjoon broke the kiss first, having to breath a little deeper to gain the oxygen back. He smiled, his deep dimples decorating his face once again. "I like you, Y/N. And I know you didn't kiss him. Eunha called me last night once you fell asleep and did a rather... Serious yell-at-Namjoon-for-being-stupid-speech", he laughed, still keeping one arm behind you. The other's hand was caressing your cheek. "And when I thought about it later on, I realised that it was a shitty move from me to think that you would actually kiss someone like that. I'm sorry for yelling at you yesterday", Namjoon explained, and you heard a tiny bit of guilt in his voice. You rose on your tiptoes to kiss his nose, soft and sweet. "Don't apologize. The main thing is that we like each other", you said and his lips crashed onto yours again. This time the kiss was sweeter again. Passionate, sure, but not as hard as the one before. "God, Y/N. You've gotten me so messed up. We've only known each other for such a short time, and I'm already this whipped?" Namjoon scoffed and you couldn't help but giggle at his remark. God, how cute. "It's mutual", you said and this time it was his time to laugh. "Mind if we stay here snogging for the rest of the day?" He asked, keeping tight eye contact with you. "That sounds like heaven to me."

[butiaintgonnaloveem]

That Special Someone

Characters/Pairing: Sam x Reader (platonic) and others. 

Word Count: 3200

Warnings: Language, drinking, Stanford!Sam feels, fluff and silliness

A/N: This fic was written for 2 challenges I signed up for: @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog‘s Trope Challenge for which I had “Everyone thinks we’re together, but we’re not god damn it!” and @babypieandwhiskey‘s Cam’s Darndest Things Challenge for which I had “You can’t just go up to people and ask if they have a penis.” @idreamofhazel was kind enough to beta read this for me.(Are you aware of how sweet and supportive she is, btw?) So, I hope you enjoy it, and please feel free to provide some feedback. I love it!

(Yeah, I know that’s Dean, but let’s pretend it’s Stanford!Sam because I love that gif. Ok? Ok.)

ITALICS = Present Day, REGULAR TYPE = Flashback

The question had been asked a thousand different times, in as many different ways. Sometimes direct, sometimes with a suggestive glance, sometimes it was thrown your way as an accusation. It was equal parts laughable, frustrating, and worrying.

“So, you two are a thing, right?”

Throughout the seas of people, you two managed to find each other. One of those perfect, once-in-a-lifetime chance meetings that made your life better from that point forward. It wasn’t long after your mother had unceremoniously dropped you off at your dorm. Setting down your suitcases, she glanced around the room with a sneer.

“Well, good luck.”

“Thanks,” you muttered, playing with the hem of your shirt.

She took off down the hall, not looking back as she maneuvered around other parents and students dragging possessions behind them. Your eyes had watered, but you didn’t spare a tear for her. If nothing else, you were grateful for the quick exit and the sudden start to your new life, completely on your own at Stanford.

Groups of uncertain-looking teenagers gathered around, searching for the numbers that matched their assignments for freshman orientation. Finding your group, you sat on a bench, waiting for the rest to gather. You kept your eyes down as your foot tapped impatiently on the sidewalk listening to tearful goodbyes shared by other students and families until a shaky voice interrupted you.

“Hey, is this Group C?” You shot up a quick glance, finding the speaker to be tall and lean with long hair that hung by his eyes.

“Yeah,” you answered with a shrug of a smile.

“Mind if I sit with you?”

“Uhhm, sure.” You scooted over, folding your arms over yourself, trying to allow as much personal space as possible. For a while, you sat together quietly, scanning the crowds and giving each other apologetic smiles when you’d catch the other’s glance.

“I’m Sam, by the way. In-In case you were wondering.”

“Y/n,” you responded, holding out your hand to shake his, then letting the sound of the crowds settle over you again.

“I don’t know anyone here,” he said, breaking through the noise again, a curious expression on his face. It wasn’t sadness, or fear. He almost had looked relieved.

“Me neither,” you nodded. A little hope bubbled in your chest that you had made the right decision. He smiled at you kindly, mouth opening to speak but before he could, he was interrupted by your orientation guide. The rest of the afternoon was spent playing ice-breaker games and writing down goals for the semester, tours of buildings and tips for not getting robbed by the bookstore. You had found 2 other girls in your group that lived in your dorm, and at the end of the day you wished Sam luck with a grateful smile.

“See ya around,” he responded, though he looked like he doubted his own words.

“Who? You mean me and Sam?” you ask with a polite smile as your eyes search for him across the room, trying to find the top of his head above all the others. You draw in a deep breath when you find him, trying to not roll your eyes. He’s talking with one of the TA’s, undoubtedly grilling him about the papers due for the end of the semester.

Weeks went by and you had kept yourself busy trying to get in the routine of things at the university. You had found a couple of other girls down the hall that you connected with, sometimes you shared meals or listened to music together, but it was still mostly awkward stories and getting to know each other.

“Hey, my friend Audrey says they found a creepy hallway in the basement of her dorm. We’re gonna go explore it, wanna come with?”

“Sure, how about I meet you there in just a little bit?” you assured her, eager to get away from your philosophy books.

Your friend nodded and took off. After quickly finishing your chapter and shoving the rest of your work out of the way, you trudged across the campus to the other dorm, and tried to remember how to get to Audrey’s room. Initially, going down the wrong hallway, you reached the end without recognizing any of the doors. On your return trip you noticed a door half open and knocked shyly to ask for help.

“Hey, excuse me, do you know where - Oh. Hey, um, Sam right?” you asked, recognizing the boy from your first day on campus.

His head whipped up at your voice, surprised, but not really alarmed. “Yeah, hey, Y/n,” he answered without hesitation. “How’s everything going?”

You leaned onto the doorframe. “Good, so far I guess. Hey, you wouldn’t happen to know someone named Audrey, would you?”

His eyebrows lifted as his mouth settled into a thoughtful frown. “Audrey? Ah, no, sorry.”

“Shit, I’m so lost. They probably already took off without me. You don’t wanna come help me find them, do you?”

“I would, but, um, I really should keep studying here,” he emphasized his response with a pen tap to his book.

You crossed your arms. “How long’s it been since your last study break?” He pushed back his hair, humming while he thought. “Okay, if you can’t remember then it’s been too long. Come on, Sam.”

“That’s really nice and I appreciate it, but, I can’t. If I let my grades drop, I risk losing my scholarship and then-”

“Whoa, hey, slow down. I’m sure you’re going to be fine. Just a little break, I promise.” You smiled.

“No, you and Professor Crawford. Of course I mean you and Sam!”

You draw in a breath, ready to give what’s become your practiced response to the question. Ready to defend the time you spend together, the affection you two display for each other, the times you’ve cried on each other’s shoulders and played wingman for a night.

“Here’s the thing about me and Sam…”

You and Sam were curled up together on the recliner in his room. A thick blanket covered the two of you as he sprawled out behind you and you laid across him. You were both half watching the television, some reality show neither of you cared about, while the other half of your attention was focused on books for your classes.

After that night you had gotten lost in the dorms, you two were constantly around each other.  Study sessions, binging on pizzas, finding different on-campus activities and groups. You both just clicked and fell into an easy routine, finding a best friend in him quickly. You found comfort in each other that neither of you seemed to know you needed.

“Okay, great, I got it,” Sam’s roommate Brady called out, stepping in front of the tv to stop the ringing that neither you or Sam had noticed. “Hello? Uh, yeah, hang on...It’s for you.” He gestured the phone’s receiver your way.

“Oh, shit, sorry.” You sheepishly apologized, but it wasn’t the first time it had happened. Since you and Sam spent so much time together, your friends had taken to calling his room to find you. Sam didn’t mind, but it annoyed Brady to no end.

Your friend nearly squealed when you got on the line, shouting something at you about a party the baseball team was throwing and how you and Sam needed to be there because, as she put it, “You might be immune to that hotness, but don’t keep that eye candy all to yourself.”

You shot a glance at Sam, catching a thoughtful expression on his face as he kept it buried in his linguistics book. It wasn’t as though you hadn’t known how attractive he was. You were aware that he was toned and muscular, and that he had that shaggy, messy hair that made girls’ fingers twitch with want to play with it. You’d spent enough time staring into his eyes to know that they likely had the ability to look right into your soul, but that they were offset easily by his wide, boyish smile. You were completely aware of all those characteristics, and then some. They just never sparked anything for you.

“Maybe. Okay? Maybe. I’ll let you know.” You did your best to placate her before hanging up and turning to Sam with an apologetically hopeful expression.

“Nope. Nope. Y/n, for once I am not going to fall for this. For almost two years now, I’ve gone along with your ‘Just a little break, I promise’ craziness. You always drag me along and it turns into a thing. I actually have to study, believe it or not!”

You kept your face neutral as Sam gave you his usual response and excuses for avoiding social events.

“I know, Sam. And because you’re some kind of genius, you’ve managed to still pass all your classes and have an insanely high GPA, even with all my craziness. So, are you done fighting me on this? You know you love it.” You glanced around for the picture that always worked to your advantage. It was of the two of you at a theme park, sharing a meaty drumstick the size of your head. You found it on the corkboard and plucked it off to hold it in his face.

“See? You have the best times with me. Remember ‘Turkey Leg’?” you asked smugly, waving the photo back and forth.

“Don’t you dare use ‘Turkey Leg’ against me.” He shook his head adamantly.

“But Sam, it’s study break time,” you pouted.

He smiled, showing off his big, toothy grin. “Fine, just a little break.”

“We met, literally on our first day here. We were both totally alone, escaping for fresh starts. His story is his and it’s really not my place to share it, but I’ve never met a person who is more understanding and thoughtful, and I am so grateful for him as a friend. That’s it, just as a friend. I don’t know if I’ve ever met a better person.”

She looks at you, giving you that look. The one that silently accused you of loving him and made you laugh.

“Okay, yes, for a minute I thought about us getting together, but trust me. It’s a thought that’s thankfully in the past.”

You and Sam stayed together during holidays and school breaks. It was the summer between your second and third years when you sublet an off-campus apartment together. A few other friends also stuck around, having found jobs nearby and taking summer courses. Sam was off at the library when your friend, Rose, arrived. One of a handful of people from home you stayed in touch with, and one of your best friends, she came to stay with you for the weekend.

“So. This is where you’ve been hiding? It’s great!” She dropped her bags and quickly scanned all the rooms. “Where’s the boyfriend?”

“Boyfriend? Who? Sam!? First off, he’s not my boyfriend, and second, he’s not here right now.”

“Okay, well, that’s bullshit, but good. Because I am ready to drink and hear more gossip about him and convince you that you belong together.” She went to her bag and retrieved a bottle of rum. You opened your mouth to protest, but she ignored you, pouring a pair of strong drinks for the two of you before pulling you to the couch. It didn’t take long for the warmth of the alcohol to pull a blush into your cheeks and make your mind work a little slower than usual. The two of you settled onto the couch, catching up and telling stories.

“Y/n, for the past two years, I’ve heard about nothing but Sam. Hell, even I’ve had some dreams about him just based on what you’ve told me. He’s perfect for you and cares about you. I mean, he makes you feel good. Like, have you ever met someone that made you feel the way he does? Is there anyone else you spend as much time with as you do with him? Plus, he’s hot, right? What’s the problem?”

It made you wonder. You’d heard similar arguments before. Not even Rose knew some of the things Sam knew about you. Her drunk logic was making you rethink moment after moment.

“...I’m just saying, you should tell him you love him before you lose your chance.” You frowned at the idea of it and downed a shot.

Later that night, Sam pushed through the crowded yard, smiling as he passed some other friends. Your eyes locked onto him, watching him with droopy eyelids through a blurry haze. Rose had spent the whole afternoon drinking with you and convincing you that you were in love with Sam, and now a voice somewhere inside your mind started yelling in agreement. ‘Yeah. What the Hell. How could he not love me, I totally love him. Why shouldn’t he be my boyfriend?’

He rushed to you once he caught sight of you and wrapped you up in a huge hug. Rose watched from the side, eyes squinted in drunk scrutiny while you tried to catch your breath.

“Sam, Rose. Rose, Sam,” you waved your hand between them.

He smiled widely at her, genuinely happy to meet someone else who was so important to you, but she scowled at him.

“Sam, do you actually have a dick, or do you just act like one?” she slurred.

His head jerked back, caught in surprise. “Excuse me?”

“Do. You. Have. A. Penis?”

You were equal parts shocked and amused and unsuccessfully tried to stifle a hiccuping giggle.

“Oh, my g - Rose! You can’t just go up to people and ask if they have a penis!”

“I can and I did,” she snarked and crossed her arms, making you giggle all over again.

Sam looked put off, but went with it. “Well, okay. Yeah, last time I checked, I’ve got one.”

Rose’s hands flew up in exasperation, “Then why haven’t you given it to her?” She pointed at you. “She is my best friend and she deserves it and she wants it. Like. Bad.”

Your mouth fell open. You heard Sam make a strangled noise in his throat. You whipped your head in his direction faster than you should have, making you wobble on unsteady legs. The alcohol buzzed through your system, and made everything spin. You looked at Sam, blinking away the double-vision and tried to focus on his worried, sad expression. It took a minute for your brain to catch up and comprehend what you were seeing, but in a blissful - yet painful - moment of clarity, it hit you. No. You loved Sam, but he was your friend, and he was looking at you like you’d grown another head.

Tears immediately began to spill down your cheeks, your cries exaggerated by your drunken state as you started to ramble.

“Noo. Oh, no. Sam. No. You’re my friend. I don’t want your dick. You keep it. You’re my best friend. This is stupid. Oh, no, this is fucked up. I fucked up.Sam, please be my friend. Please…”

You slurred and whined and cried, making a small scene in the corner of the yard. Sam didn’t move right away, caught somewhere among shock and amusement and second-hand embarrassment. But when your sobs started to make you choke, he quickly swooped in, wrapped you in a hug and let you wipe your face on his shirt. He shushed you and tried to get you to calm down, assuring you he wasn’t going anywhere.

“I don’t feel good,” you moaned,  as you felt your stomach turning sour.

“Alright darlin’, let’s get you home.” Rose was blissfully drunk and unaware of what was happening, but went along gladly when Sam wrapped his arms over both of you and guided the two of you out of the yard and back to your apartment. Then, when you were knelt in front of the toilet, he held back your hair and listened as you explained what happened in the afternoon and complained about how terrible your drinks tasted coming back up.

You woke up the next morning, eyes puffy, your body groggy and achy, but warm as you were snuggled against Sam.

“Hey, how ya doin’ hot shot?” Sam whispered, careful not to aggravate your pounding headache.

“Hnnn, oh no,” you groaned. “God, I feel terrible.” Though the memories were fuzzy and short, you remembered of what had happened and groaned again, hiding your face in his shoulder. “God, Sam, I am so so sorry.”

“Hey, no, really, it’s okay. I get it. You really don’t need to be upset. Okay?  Honestly, I kinda thought about it before, too.”

You peeked at him through one barely open eye. “Really?”

He chuckled, “Well, yeah. Of course. There’s no real reason for us to not be together. You’re amazing, and smart, and patient, and so pretty and we just click, but, I don’t know. It’s just...not like that.”

“Yeah, exactly,” you sighed in relief. “You’re my best friend, Sam.”

“So you told me. Like, a thousand times last night.”

“Okay, well, I just really wanted you to know.”

“You know what else you told me?” he asked, his voice strained a little as he held back laughter.

“Oh, no. What?”

“That my dick is a gift and I should give it to someone special.”

“Oh, fuck. No. I’m so sorry.” You both broke out into giggles. “Please forget that part.”

“Never.”

“I just, I don’t want to step on anyone’s toes, you know?” she nervously assures you.

“Trust me, you’re not. Sam is an amazing guy. And if he’d ever stop harassing the stupid TA over there, you’d finally get a chance to talk to him.”

“I just really don’t want to feel like I am coming between the two of you,” she mumbles with a furrowed brow.

“Never. Trust me, please? He truly is my best friend, and as his best friend, I give you the seal of approval. I think you two would be so cute together, and as long as you don’t mind letting me steal him away from time to time to hang out, I just want him to get his ass over here to meet you and start flirting with you already.”

“Oh my god, stop it,” she giggles as a slight blush covers her cheeks. “Of course. I mean, I’d like to think at this point you and I are friends, too, but don’t go writing our happily ever after just yet, okay? We haven’t been introduced or even been on a date.” She tucks her long hair behind her ear, sneaking a glance at Sam across the room with shining, eager eyes.

“I know Sam, and I promise you, he’s gonna like you. I didn’t think Brady knew any girls that were more brains than boobs,” you pause to giggle at yourself, “but I’m glad he came up with the idea to introduce you two. You’re definitely someone special. Jess, you two are going to be amazing together.” 

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